Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
I hate my life. I have just spent quite awhile on numerous phone calls. After the call this morning where I forced myself to continue with the plans for surgery next week. I then received a call from that surgeons office and he is canceling my surgery. He is forcing a secondary consultation.
They are in the process of setting that up but according to this morning’s conversation the earliest was November 14th.
I should have never said anything.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I just want to give you a hug. How horrible for them to put you through all this run around. My first thought was that this is his pushback for a bruised ego that someone didn’t let him push them around.
I’m sorry, this isn’t helpful at all, but I think of that saying “nice guys finish last” was created for a reason. It makes me so mad seeing such nice people get pushed around. The good thing about being a nice person though is that you gain a friend like Tiny. She has a gift for really seeing good people. A lot of mean people out there have empty relationships.
You still have options. They might not end up being what you were hoping for. But these people don’t call all the shots. I’m sorry this is becoming such a disheartening process.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas ❤❤❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh wow🙁🙁🙁 your health system sucks😥😥😥😥 in so sorry sweetie
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Iam I'm so sorry this happened. I agree with something I saw Tiny write you, our health system sucks. It's barbaric and cruel (as Pieces said) to make you wait so long for another consultation when you're in such pain.
The hospital never contacted me in regards to a second consultation appointment , imagine that.
All of this has me feeling, well I have no words for how I feel…..
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
It’s so wonderful to hear from you. Are you doing ok? ❤️❤️I love you and I worry about you ❤️❤️
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
I am having an extra difficult time focusing today. So I apologize in advance if my responses are kind of brief. I’m trying to read your messages, but I am having a little trouble focusing enough to fully comprehend and respond. ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami this is the most sadest outcome you could of had😥 I'm so sorry 🙁 I can't imagine what's going through your head right now😥 like pieces said 'good guys finish last' or what I say is ' you can never keep a good man down' you've come this far, we are gonna get you through this ❤ all of us together ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami tell me the first thought that comes to your mind right now??
@Tinywhisper11
I am thankful for you and the others finding me and staying by my side.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami YYY see and you said in a previous message that you should have tried to be more human ❤ if I could hug you right now, I'd probably hug so hard I'd cut off your air supply😁 have you ever travelled much?? That you can remember?? Are you still eating?? Are the meds helping??
and don't worry, it's gonna be ok. It's funny how things always seem to work out ok in the end ❤ I'm right here with you all the way ❤❤ I love you
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
Travel other than for work, and that I consider driving not traveling , so no. Other than that, not that I remember
Yes and no. Stomach is still in knots, but even so after today’s events I forced myself to overeat kind of hoping I might get sick and then the knots would be gone, but it didn’t work.
The effects of the meds are starting to not be as effective, but I am not sure I want to talk to doctor about upping the dosages. They are addictive and I don’t want to go through that as well.
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you…..❤️I love you too ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami YYY yeah meds are addictive. But thank God for them ❤ sorry for late reply, I'm gonna be gone now for about half hour, I want to do my exercises and stuff ❤ but I'll be back in a bit ❤
I always say I'd like to be a explorer and see everything. But now I just want to see things like this ovean, a zoo, be on top of a tall mountain, enjoy a Xmas market, see a waterfall, go to a arcade. But most importantly kidnap you and take you with me 😁 it would be a dream come true to just go around enjoying life ❤ I bet it would be a dream come true for you right now too ❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami sorry I took so long, doing anything frustrates me, and then takes twice as long
Are you still awake?? Is it meds time for you yet??
@Tinywhisper11
No worries. I am the same way. I took my 10 PM round next is midnight.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami your med schedule 😂😂😂 I'd never be awake to take them at mudnight
@Tinywhisper11 midnight*
Stupid finger can't spell
@Tinywhisper11
Midnight is better anyway.
@Tinywhisper11
Mudnight is better anyway. Stupid autocorrect.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
Currently what do I have to do that takes less or more priority?
@Iamwhoiamwhoami yeah that's true, at least it's some kind of routine I guess ❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami has your headache gone??? I have one now, but it's not that bad yet ❤
@Tinywhisper11 do you wear jewellery??
@Tinywhisper11
No, I think at some point I had an earring but nothing that I remember.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh I don't have any piercings, I do have a pretty necklace and bracelet, but after I bought them, I realised I can't wear them. I don't like the feeling.
@Tinywhisper11
Still there, not as pronounced but still very much there’.❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami YYY🙁 it's probably a mixture of stress and lots of other things, my poor baby🙁 hugs you tightly ❤
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
❤️❤️hugs you as well ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm a little light headed so I'm gonna go lie down for a while ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Okay, I will wait by your side and hold your hand if that’s alright with you. ❤️❤️embracing you with love as well ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami ❤🙂❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Lightheaded… sorry for hugging you too tightly…..❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😁😁😁😁😁😁
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I woke up like 10 minutes ago. Damn! That surgery really took it out of me all I wanna do is sleep
So your surgery is Monday?? Like in 4 days? I know the surgeon thing is scary and stressful, frustrating and a million other bad things. But forgetting the surgeon a minute, what are your thoughts on it happening so soon? It's ok if your scared, or worried about recovery. It's ok to feel however your feeling right now. I'm by your side hugging you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Surgeon cancelled the surgery due to the uproar my concerns caused. They were supposedly setting up a referral for another consultation for me. I haven’t heard anything back from them yet. So whenever that gets scheduled for , which will probably be another month, that will be for a consultation only. After that surgery sometime after that.
I have an appointment with my doctor this morning. I’m going to try and go back to sleep for a little while more. Before I try and take another shower.