Ramblings 3

@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh ok ❤ I just read it all ❤❤ hugs you tightly, your not to blame for me getting ill, and you don't ever need to think your at fault for hurting me. I wouldn't read your messages of I didn't care, or want to be here with you ❤❤ I love you friend ❤❤

my immune system is practically non existent. I get ill alot, I have pneumonia. Now you can't be to blame for that. I'm sorry I made you feel that way, but I'm so glad you told me🙂 remember together we can get through anything ❤ hugs you really tightly ❤❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami where are you?? Are you ok???

@Iamwhoiamwhoami hey ^^ this is your space and we all come here willingly. You're not going out of your way to post your thoughts for people to read, you have this corner here for yourself and you're posting things here so you're not bothering anyone. Please keep your space active with your thoughts cause as you've said, it helps to write it down. 

@Iamwhoiamwhoami your username reminds me of the song that goes like 'I am what ever you say I am, if I wasn't then why would I say I am" 

@Tinywhisper11

You have no blame in this. The timing of your getting ill is what plays in my mind. Just after you helping me through that ordeal and then you got ill. This finding friends online and not ever going to be in person. It is my mind that interprets things like this and adds it to the self blame list.

As far as my mind goes I’m to blame for anything that goes wrong in my life. I know that isn’t true but those thoughts get overrun by all the negativity racing in my head.

It is wonderful that you are feeling a little better. I am thankful that I wasn’t to blame for your getting ill.

I’m going to stop here because I’m having a lot of trouble focusing and I definitely don’t want to ramble right now.

💕💕Hugs💕💕. ❤️❤️I Love You ❤️❤️

@BlueDarkAurora

Thank you for your kindness and support. The one thing that I definitely don’t want is for anyone to be triggered by my writings. The fact that my screwed up thoughts immediately prompted my self blame and ran with it, shows another thing about me and I am ashamed of how far my self blame takes things. I used to bury those thoughts like everything else. I can’t so that anymore.

Writing does help to take the edge off, and I have had a rough time not doing so. In fact that along with my guilt has made me a little sick .

Thank you again,

@Iamwhoiamwhoami if you want to ramble then please do so. I'm not triggered by you ❤ I also play the guilt and blame game on myself, far to much. We are just two people, who have come to be great friends here ❤ I would not  be here if I was triggered easily. I'm very ill right now, so if I do disappear for a few days, you know it's because of my health, and not you ❤🙂❤ if that happens, remember I love you and will message you as often as I can ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11

Thank you for being so understanding. I am not feeling to good myself. I will probably return to rambling tomorrow. I’m going to try and get some more sleep or frequent naps. Hopefully after reading that you are feeling better will help me do so.

❤️❤️Hugs❤️❤️. 💕💕💕I Love You 💕💕💕

I’m in a not so good place right now. I want to try and write here again, It’s like my stopping along with the self blame has created a traffic jam in my mind.

I’m sorry, I will try and come back later