My 40 Year Old Body

@reallyoverallofit I wish society didn't train my sad brain into thinking anything over 40 ain't cute anymore. I'd like to unlearn it but I know better than that.

Society makes the suggestion. You don’t have to accept it. People unlearn all kinds of things. 

@PineTreeTree I believe this is more of a personal view on how things work. Like my PTSD... I can't unlearn it. I can work with it. Or being raised as a white privileged girl. I can't forget about it and act like it doesn't exist but I can learn to work with it and acknowledge it. I don't think we unlearn anything. I think we learn to work with what we've picked up along the way. 

@reallyoverallofit Yes I understand. I guess I see it as overwriting information enough that the new idea is more dominant. 

@reallyoverallofit I really like this perspective, we are how we are and work with it. Thank you for sharing, it's nice to read!

I like some of the comments here and completely agree, don't be disheartened by what society makes you think should fit into whatever box. You can make your own definition.

I've always been aware that the likes of f.book people can portray these happy images of what their life is like or have their status as I'm doing xyz but if they were that happy and involved in the moment would they have the time to be seeking that external validation from others? Nah don't think so. I've been with ex partners who have put show off status about Oooh were at such a place and having a great time. But what really happened was a massive argument over something stupid and it wasn't even that good anyway but to an outsider looking in it looks perfect.

My point is don't let image stop you from doing something you're interested in. Give it a go. Commit to giving a go and see how you get on. If it turns out it's not for you, at least you tried and if you try and like it and maybe find like minded people you've done something for you.

Hope you let us know how you get on

@conscientiousNickel7021 I love the f.book story. How funny and relatable. Thank you for lending your perspective. I agree, we can create our own definitions. I think this is what I'm going to have to teach myself how to do in the 40s decade. <3

@reallyoverallofit Society is funny isn't it and somehow we all get sucked in! I think as long as you're away of those societal images you can know better and define yourself. No one deserves to be a judge of you you make your own destiny and choices

@conscientiousNickel7021 I really love this. Thank you. I needed to read this/hear this today. You are amazing. 

@reallyoverallofit it might be hard, but I say just sign up for classes and commit to showing up! I saw on *** last week an adult ballet recitals with dancers of all ages and sizes. And I saw a group of women who created an all women summer camp no matter what age you are. There were 70 year olds playing duck duck goose and having a dance rave in a cabin! PTSD is hard but your life is valuable too, with or without it! 

@ivoryBalloon5890 omg this sounds like a dream. tysm for sharing!!!

@realmenteoverallofit

Hola, entiendo eso que sentías viendo los vídeos de niñas haciendo ballet. Me es familiar eso que describes. Soy gimnasta profesional desde los 24 años, ya era la más mayor( aunque yo me sentía vieja) del grupo al llegar ajjajajajajaja... Me sentí así cómo describes mucho tiempo eh.. a demás cumplí muchos veintis pidiendo de deseo un año más de srtist pq ( según yo)  ya estaba mayor 🤷

Ahora tengo 38 y sigo actuando, sin darme ni cuenta estos 3 años he aprendido bastante de baile, acrobacias, contorsión, trapecio, aro aéreo tb, duo de fuerza, fuego, luz, hasta escupo fuego y todo. 

Con todo esto quiero mostrarte que la edad no es determinante y que si sentimos ganas de aprender algo lo hagamos y si nos da miedo, pues lo hacemos con miedo. Eso es lo que me dijo en esos momentos de pánico.  Espero que te aporte una perspectiva buena y nueva. Un abrazo y suerte. 

Nia la 

@Castellana Awww <3 gracias, amor. Realmente te agradezco a ti y a tu mensaje.

@reallyoverallofit

It’s understandable to feel disheartened when coming to terms with changes in how you see yourself over time. It’s great to hear that you still stay active with exercise, and it’s interesting that ballet has resurfaced in your life through the algorithm. It’s normal to have mixed feelings about revisiting something from the past, especially when it feels like a part of you has changed.

Let me just ask you this: Why should others' opinions matter so much? If you’re taking care of yourself and feel good, what’s stopping you from embracing the vibrant youth you want to be? Surround yourself with people who appreciate and support your desire to stay youthful. Life is too short not to enjoy it, so be free and pursue what makes you happy, regardless of societal expectations. Whether or not you pursue ballet, finding joy and fulfillment on your own terms is what truly matters.

@iPHOENIX Thank you <3. I appreciate this. 

It's normal to feel this way. I am close to approaching 40, and I am finally accepting my body for what it is. I understand that I am never going to be the size I was in my teens and twenties, and that's ok. I have had children, and the pregnancies combined with having an office job have caused me to gain weight. I have learned to love my curves. It is hard, especially since beauty standards are pushed to us as women from a young age.

Thank you, @Wpdillon. <3

I am 45, and mind still works like I am in 20s or something. I can't co relate with my ege. Even with the wife and children. My mind don't want to take note that I am old.

@Amiak This is exactly what I am struggling with. In my mind I should be able to hit ht egym everyday and be alright. But my body is like... absolutely not. 

I feel very silly, that's exactly why I entered today, because I'm thinking exactly about these things in this period, about society that stops considering you, helping you, or recognizing the fragilities and needs you may have as an adult, but I feel silly now because I'm 23 years old... But reading you I felt understood, you gave me hope, because there are mature adults who believe in youth of soul like you (sorry, I know that maybe I seem stupid to you) maybe it can help, I don't know, but I always look with admiration at people like you, people who have understood that graying in the soul is not a norm of nature, but of society,who exercise, want to learn to dance, have the mind of a young adult, and try to remember that in life you can do what you want, regardless of numbers, wish you all love and well

@TipTipTip Oh yea. We exist. The world tries to crush us down but we still persist. Remaining young in mind and heart is the key to a equally balanced and valued society. We are far from the balance but it would be worse if no one tried. 

Your soul can be youthful even if your body is not. You are your soul. Your body is a flesh container in which your soul resides.

Your soul craves dance... you can dance, you can jive, at forty.

I also wish society didn't train people's brains with unrealistic beauty standards.

Crow's feet are beautiful. Gray hair. Wrinkles. A life lived. Years gone through. Pains, joys, highs, lows... in some cultures, gray hair and age are treated with reverence. The one I came from certainly did... a white head is a crown of glory if found in the way of righteousness...

I have a friend who is in her fifties, and another in her forties, and both sometimes struggle with the effects of aging on their bodies... and they're both beautiful. Body and soul.

I bet you are, too.

@OhLookItsRay Awww thank you <3

I think you should dance. Isn’t part of getting older supposed to be embracing the things we love? Sometimes, I feel like people our age need to look at the older generations on this sort of thing. (Myself included.)

When I was a kid, I remember my grandparents saying things like, “I am too old to care.” Isn’t that supposed to be one of the things we earn with age? For example, when you graduate school, there is a freedom and relief from being removed from certain social dynamics, and with each additional change in life isn’t there supposed to be more relief? Heck, I was told my great grandmother had purple hair and wore fuchsia mumus!

I suppose there is the reality too, and being on Broadway is hard for anyone of any age. Is that your goal with dancing, though? If it is, you could probably still go for it. It may just take some work, but it would take work for anybody. One of the things I actually really like about this younger generation is they seem to embrace different body types more so than when I was growing up. You may be pleasantly surprised.

@HelloHereWeAre Thank you =)

Hi! Sorry to hear that you're struggling with starting something once again. It's very important to know that what you love matters the most. People will always have something to say and we can't stop them. We often get caught up in different things while growing up but it's totally alright to start doing what you like when you have the time and energy. ❤️

Your body is perfect the way it is. It only shows how many years you've survived in this cruel world. Kudos to you! 🌱🌈

No one can stop you if you want to bring a change. You're an inspiration for all those who give up on their dreams and never think about learning anything ever again. You still have that willingness to keep growing and I want you to see your own strength. Focus on that instead of something your brain is convincing you as your weakness. It's not your weakness. Our thoughts are not always right.🌻

Talking about other people. You know these are the people who have themselves stop growing. And so, they want everyone else to do the same. Listen to your own heart, not them. It will show you the right path.

And I believe in you! If you start doing it, give us an update. Okiee?🍃🌿

Take care of yourself. You matter and you're beautiful just the way you are. We have a universe within ourselves and that's far greater than what we see outside. So vast that we haven't figured out everything about ourselves. Discover yourself. Everything will be okay! 🦋

Aww @Yougotmyback thank you so much. You brightened my day with this. Thank you for the reminder that I am still learning and growing. 

It's my pleasure to have come across a person who has not given up on dreaming. 🎈

Yes, you're growing and I'm rooting for you! 🥳❤️

I love dancing .. I don’t think you should listen to AI. If you want and crave to dance do it, for me dancing makes me feel alive . I’m. 40 and I hope I always dance till end of times

@Leaningonfaith84 <3 thank you. i love the encouragement.