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OhLookItsRay
2 4,168 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 122 Compassion hearts602 Forum posts54 Forum upvotes114 Current upvotes114 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceAugust 15, 2024
Bio

I struggle with depression, anxiety, and some trauma. I'm trying to work through these things and want life.


I've made a lot of mistakes. I'm learning to love myself even though I'm a human who makes a lot of mistakes.


My friends call me Ray. So call me Ray. :)

Recent forum posts
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TW: Anger, trauma responses
General Support / by OhLookItsRay
Last post
 October 6th
...See more Recently, I realized I was suppressing anger toward a friend I recently pushed away. I have a certain set of values (equality is huge for me) and I didn't fully understand why I felt unsafe until just now. There are certain mental illnesses that are heavily stigmatized because of their effects on the people around them, particularly cluster B disorders. I understand the stigma, I understand how much they hurt, and I understand why people feel the way they do. I have a particularly touchy fight response as a response to trauma myself and I've worked on this for the past several years in an effort to manage how it affects other people. The former friend of mine expressed that she felt pity for someone suspected to have a cluster B disorder. I understand the complicated nuances surrounding these things, how controversial they are, and how much pop psychology (and a lot of rampant misinformation) swirls around these subjects. What I don't understand, though, is how someone can claim to be so empathetic and compassionate, but say they pity someone. Especially since they're so familiar with illness, and how it feels to be pitied for their illness. She asked me not to pity her... yet she pities that person. Pity is condescending. It positions one above another. It carries a connotation, "oh, you can't do what I can do and I feel sorry that your life isn't as good as mine." I feel disgust toward this person when I think about it... it's ignorance, and I know that, and she's human, and makes mistakes. I have compassion for that. I want to move past this anger... I know it's not healthy for me to rest in it. I know anger is just a manifestation that my feelings have been hurt. It truly does hurt. It happened a lot in the environment we both came from, and I understand that part of it is that I expected more from her than was probably healthy, and I feel disillusioned, because. Cluster B traits, myself. As a trauma response I didn't ask for. And am working on. It really hurts to see someone rejected and pitied for something they didn't ask for, the development of a disorder they can't help and aren't aware of, and it hurts so much. It really, really hurts.
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You're not alone.
Anxiety Support / by OhLookItsRay
Last post
 August 19th
...See more Hi, I'm Drum, but my friends call me Ray. I struggle with anxiety. Or, as a meme I saw once said, "if you are still breathing, it struggles with you." I want you to know that if you struggle with it, too, you're not alone. Even if you can't see me, I'm struggling right along with you today. You don't have to go it alone. We are all here. We are together. There's a song I really like by WalkTheMoon that reminds that we are the regents of nothing at all. We can walk one foot in front of the other. If you put one foot in front of the other today, you're doing just fine. You woke up today. You did life. Be kind to yourself in your struggle. I don't have to know you to send you love in your struggle, fellow humans. We are all just "barnacles on the container ship of consciousness." You are human, and that's all you have to be today. Sending love and light to you today, beautiful souls. You are worthy of both.
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New, trying to heal, and motivated to change
Newbie Hub / by OhLookItsRay
Last post
 August 17th
...See more Hi, I'm Ray (he, they). I'm in my thirties. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and trauma responses. I spent some of my formative years in what many consider a cult. I have been out of that environment for about 7 years now, but still struggle a bit with both coping with and understanding the world around me even though I spent most of my childhood as part of it. (My brain forgot how to people in the way that people In The Out people. Lol.) I know I am an Out People, but old ideas and habits die hard. I like music, singing, dancing, psychology, sociology, documentaries, British period dramas apparently, and a bunch of other stuff, video games (ARK, Minecraft, Civilization, anything Bethesda), Magic: The Gathering, anime (Fullmetal, Ghibli, Ouran, Potato Lives Alone, Komi Can't Communicate), and a bunch of other things. Too many to list here lol I spent a long time leaning on coping mechanisms that didn't serve me and am working to unlearn those, as well as a mindset I learned in a not-so-great situation. I came to 7cups to gain support, as well as to give support and learn how to support others in a healthier way, specifically my family and my husband, and to lessen the impact of my mental illness and trauma responses on them. Thanks for having me, and I am both excited and terrified (skited, if you will) to see where the healing journey takes me. Take care, heavens bless, and let's giggity giggity get it!
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