Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
conscientiousNickel7021
1,204 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts110 Forum posts72 Forum upvotes78 Current upvotes78 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceApril 9, 2024
Bio

,,,

Recent forum posts
Lost in trying to prove myself
Relationship Stress / by conscientiousNickel7021
Last post
 August 30th
...See more I've been in a relationship for 10+ years and even though we have had plans about family...marriage...moving etc (the normal stuff) my partner has told me she feels incredibly let down by me as this is not where she imagined we would be this far along. I have admittedly let myself get caught up in family stuff or the stuff that blows up in your face and spent more time dealing with that rather than go back and discuss and plan the bigger things. Now my partner has said she feels disappointed, angry, upset all the time and is constantly pushing me away physically and mentally but I don't want to give stop trying. This isn't where I wanted things to be either and I feel like I'm stuck in between seeking approval that what I'm doing is ok and trying to take the initiative but then getting criticised for things being the way they are. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place every day and it's upsetting. We're both upset but can't talk to each other. Has anyone else experienced this or have any advice. I feel like I'm struggling every day but she wants me to prove I'm worthy at same time as not wanting me to as well.
Codependency
Relationship Stress / by conscientiousNickel7021
Last post
 August 30th
...See more How do you stop yourself from seeking validation from your partner? It is killing my relationship yet I still keep doing it unintentionally. I've read books, listened to podcasts it is me with the issue. I don't believe in myself enough that I do what is expected of me. But it's been like this for years that trying to break the cycle is an upward struggle and I seem to keep going back to my fallback position. Any help or advice please
Pokémon go
Hobby Zone / by conscientiousNickel7021
Last post
 August 24th
...See more Does anyone still Pokémon go? 🙂
Is it helpful getting a diagnosis?
Autism Support / by conscientiousNickel7021
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more I've always been considered a bit quirky even when I was a kid. And I've mostly just accepted I'm a bit weird, don't really have many friends and struggle socially especially face to face with people I don't know well. It's been suggested by a few different people that maybe I have an autistic streak which would explain why my behaviours aren't *normal*. I think I'm being kind but come across as being a push over, I think I'm helping by being there but I'm told I don't contribute ideas. The way I am has massively impacted my friendships (or lack thereof) and relationships (partner of 10+ years wants to break up). My question is, is it helpful getting a diagnosis? Has it made any changes positive or negative to your lifestyle? I'm just wondering if it is something I should pursue. Thanks for reading
Time in relationships
Relationship Stress / by conscientiousNickel7021
Last post
 August 16th
...See more I feel like I have messed something good up. I've been with my partner about 15years and were friends for about 5 years before that. We've always been seen as the strong couple others aspire to be and don't get me wrong we have had our trust issues and both messed around at the start but we worked past it. Things have come to a head recently, I took a lot of convincing at the start that I was good enough and even though we have been strong I feel she has taken the lead on a lot of things. We've spoken about future plans, holidays, businesses, getting married, having kids moving abroad...and none of it has come to fruition. I think I have let her lead the relationship and now she is really really angry with me and convinced I've never meant a word of what I've said. I think I've been lazy but I do still want those things. Am I a bad person for trying to do these things in my own time thinking she will always be there? I should mention I do get overwhelmed (poss autistic/adhd) when lots of things go on and she's known this but I think this has mentally drained both of us (she's had to do the thinking/feeling for both of us) and I couldn't cope with big picture thinking when small things are in front of my face. I'm not sure I'm explaining this right. I just know I feel like a f-up, alone, on the brink of being kicked out and like I've hurt someone who's genuinely cared about me and I'm scared of losing them. I'm not even sure what I'm expecting from posting but thank you for taking the time to read. I needed to vent.
Communication
35 & Over Community / by conscientiousNickel7021
Last post
 July 19th
...See more Hi All, After some advice and a sanity check. As a child I was always known as the shy one, so much so by the time I got to high school I started to not push myself at all to make any effort to talk and get out of my comfort zone id only speak when I was asked a question when outside my friend circle because being shy was just me. I'm now 40 and can still struggle at times with putting myself out there, being vulnerable and genuine with people in conversations. I don't really have many friends but have been in a committed relationship for 10 years. We are very much struggling for a variety of reasons, but communication and not taking the lead are some key things that get mentioned a lot. One thing that does keep coming up is how I managed to chat "rubbish" to work colleagues. This makes me get quite annoyed and I have lost my temper with my partner (admittedly I shouldn't have done that) but they tell me that I prioritise my work more than our relationship because I'm good at that rubbish talk and don't put as much effort in relationship conversations. I feel very confused. I hate small talk with people in general and I'm also not very good at it. I also hate when you have to go to work events and network. I'm not close to anyone in my work and I don't feel like I connect with anyone apart from very very superficially. No one really knows much about me and I've been there 2 years. Is it normal to feel as if you're a fake when you're just trying to be you?! I'm very conscious of trying to speak genuinely with my partner about my feelings in general, as it's not something I've been good at in the past. I want to try help things but I don't know if it is. They have also asked if I thought I might be autistic but have masked it from childhood. Is being authentic meant to be so hard? Is anyone else terrible at communicating and does anyone have any tips about how to improve? Thanks Nickle
Search more from @conscientiousNickel7021
Talk to an expert therapist
Welcome! Here is where your courageous step towards healing and personal growth...
Talk to Joe Now
Badges & Awards
19 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice Contributor Community First Compassion Helpful heart Kindness personified Bundled 7 Day Streak Forum Friend
Report an issue