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HelloHereWeAre
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceAugust 23, 2024
Recent forum posts
Frustrated
Friendship Support / by HelloHereWeAre
Last post
 October 12th
...See more There is something about me that I cannot figure out, and it is frustrating. For some reason no one ever takes any of my concerns seriously. Instead, they either gaslight me or even punish me. The effects of such have caused me immense hardship, and I genuinely do not know what to do anymore. I have gone through years of therapy to learn communication techniques. None of them work. I have changed myself, multiple times, to be the person they say is acceptable. That has never been good enough. I have read books and studied and it still does not change anything. Yesterday, I asked … no, I begged … for someone to please tell me what it is about me that makes people do this. They did not know. I have asked this question numerous times within the last decade, and they never know. Although they are only one person, I feel like if someone could just tell me then it would be applicable overall. This is a serious problem in that it has genuinely resulted in tremendous detriment in my life and those around me. More often than not, my concerns have ended up proving to be valid too, so I do not even have a track record of be overly worried or having invalid concerns. Could it be sexism and/or discrimination of some sort?
Not Okay
35 & Over Community / by HelloHereWeAre
Last post
 September 13th
...See more Here are my issues: * I have a gum disease and have not been able to get my teeth cleaned for years. The last time I went to the dentist, I was told the dental bill would be over 20K. That was on top of the expenses for teeth extraction, two implants, and deep cleaning. That was two year ago now. I was forced to quit my job. * I had seizures which lasted over a year. I keep saying that, but I think it may have actually been two years. I could tell you based on paperwork. Anyways, they happened everyday for that long, and I now need to go to a neurologist. I was forced to quit my job. * I got diagnosed with tachycardia and go to sleep every night with chest pains. I went to the doctor, but she gave me a medication which could kill me. It could kill me, because it could make my heart go to low. I now also have to go to a cardiologist, but I was forced to quit my job. * I have recently been diagnosed with a disability. I applied for social services. Someone hacked into my account. They also erased my social security number and modified the application. I reported the situation to many people. No one cares. Instead, I got a letter suggesting I test for “mental re******.” (Exact words … without the asterisks.) I have also had traumas beyond human imagination. They are so terrible that the only analogy I can come up with when trying to explain anything to anyone is the Holocaust and slavery. Meanwhile, I am supposed to do the laundry, be everyone’s entertainment, make everyone happy, and be a “good girl” … well, you get it. And, it wasn’t that I was forced to quit just one job …. I was forced to quit three. And, I am now dying. I also have debt which cannot be erased which has surmounted to more double its actual cost, because I live around a bunch of passive-aggressive, psychotic, sociopaths.
Is it because I’m old?
35 & Over Community / by HelloHereWeAre
Last post
 August 29th
...See more Finding help these days is harder. I remember being young. I remember having friends twenty years older, hearing their struggles, and I thought I was being empathetic. It is like that thing that happens around the age of thirty-five or thirty-six, when people start telling you that you are not old. Yet, you remember being a kid, and you remember what that age was supposed to mean. But, you also do not know what it means yet, so you just straddle that line between wanting to believe them and feeling unheard. When I was in my twenties, I probably thought they were not old. Now, I am forty-two, and I am constantly having to reach out to people in their twenties for help. Sometimes, it is fine, but when it comes to therapy it is annoying. I try to speak to them and set expectations. Do you have any idea how many have tried to scam me?! It is a bit ridiculous at this point. My response is respect, and I communicate to clear the air. (Please keep in mind … I am the one looking for therapy.) Then, the next communication … they do not even know if what I have is a disability. I pay them, and then I have to do the research to send them. Oh! It is a disability? Who knew?! (Not them, and they have the degree.) Then, I reach out to another. Here are forms. Here are more forms. Here are … maybe you have … what about … perhaps this. When did we start paying college students to do their research for them? Are there any adults left in the world? Because, I have had it.
Therapy Search
Trauma Support / by HelloHereWeAre
Last post
 September 1st
...See more I may have found a therapist. Do I get hopeful? My life has twisted and turned in a way which has made my entire existence so complicated that I cannot even seem to maintain therapeutic relationships. Wrong therapy type … new therapist. Severe trauma in need of attention … new therapist. Not enough experience … new therapist. I am exhausted. And, it sucks because I know I have to go for myself and everyone else right now. I do not know how to manage my life. No one explains anything to me, and I am left floundering trying to figure out who I am supposed to be. I am left wading around trying to find something to hold onto… anything… I don’t even care what it is. Just anything to give some sort of solid ground to my understanding of the world and its reality. It is like being a bird, but then someone tells you not to fly. So, you look around and try to see what everyone else does, so you walk. Like them. But, then, they say you are supposed to swim. So you start swimming, and then you are told you may be able to fly, but you don’t know if you are a bird anymore. So, you frantically flap your wings to try to fly, but your legs are now moving and you don’t know which way to go. That is the weirdest analogy I have ever come up with, but somehow it makes sense to me. I found a new therapist, but will we fly? I mean, obviously, I don’t think it is that type of relationship, but am I a bird or have I morphed into some sort of swamp creature? I don’t know? Shouldn’t I know? How can anyone help me if I don’t know?
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