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...See more Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend Take It Slowly Take it slowly. Easing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you're right for one another. If you try too soon to "make" something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare him away and spoil what is 'there' to be a good thing. Instead, practice patience and realize that it takes time to nurture a solid and enduring relationship. As part of this, it's recommended that you be careful with the following things: Realize that the initial sparks of attraction are seductive and bewitching. Falling for someone can cawn. Don't push him to call you his girlfriend after a couple of dates; this risks causing him to feel that the decision wasn't his own. Be patient and let him make up his own mind as to when the word slips out. If you're compatible, it'll happen soon enough. Quit dreaming about big weddings, white dresses and what your name will look like with his last name tagged onto it. The possibility of marrying this guy is years away in most cases, if at all. Deluding yourself into thinking this guy into your future without establishing a sound base for your love together now is not healthy and if he gets an inkling that this is how you're thinking, he'll bolt. Don't start talking about marriage and children before you've even met his friends or parents. Raising such issues prematurely can create tension from the outset and may stall or even bring to an end an otherwise productive and caring relationship. While they say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, this doesn't mean cooking him a three-course meal on the first date. You don't need to prove anything like this; you simply need to be present and engaged in listening, being attentive and sharing your interests. Cherish your time together - it's the only time he will be new to you. That doesn't mean you should be an obsessive girlfriend and crave every second of his time. Relax. Be patient. Enjoy. Start Off on the Right Foot Be honest. While being honest to your guy is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way. And the most important thing here is that you will open your feelings as much as possible. For example, if he does or says something that bothers you, be open about how it impacts you (without being accusing or asking him to change). If you establish solid lines of communication from the outset, you'll know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will endure or fizzle out. Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he won't look forward to seeing you and he'll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt. No matter what, have a good sense of humor. Share inside jokes together. Be spontaneous now and then––this keeps the sparks and the expectations alive. Be happy but don't force yourself to fake feeling happy about everything. When you're feeling a little blue or you're wanting a deeper discussion about life, tell him if you need a little peace and quiet or a shoulder to lean on; this way, he'll start to see all facets of your personality, along with how you cope with the way that life isn't always ideal. Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way––you can be humble and outspoken at the same time by using assertiveness strategies and remaining considerate of his feelings too. Respect Him Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an overly protective girlfriend; let him go out without him feeling watched. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally––recognize it for what it is––his time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure he knows that you're always there for him. If you do find it difficult to let him be, consider examining the issues that cause you to feel clingy. Past experiences in childhood or with previous boyfriends may be causing you to feel insecure or jealous. Counseling can be of assistance if you can't work through such issues alone. Pay attention to him Take an interest in his interests. Remember what he likes to do and what he likes to talk about. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. If he loves a band, try to understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress. In learning to accept his unique way of being, you'll also be learning more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that whenever he looks at it, he'll think of you and smile. If you're the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play him a song or two (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself). Add a private video of your song to YouTube. Note - Some guys do not enjoy creative gestures and feel resentment at being obliged to appreciate your efforts. Try to make something that will actually appeal to him and not end up in the trashcan within a week. He'll remember something so personal for a long time, though if he does not like it, listen to his comments with consideration; Making him feel guilty for not appreciating the gift will push him further away. Give him gifts. When you're in a relationship, it's fun to give each other small gifts. Guys love to get presents and giving him one shows that he means a lot to you. Don't overdo it though. You don't want him to think you're trying to buy his affection. Be yourself Be yourself. Don't create a fake you just to impress him. It might be tempting if you think he'd prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you're likely to be wrong. After all, he wants to date you, not some imagined form of perfection. And if you really feel tempted to change things about yourself because he insists that you'd be better thinner, taller, prettier, quieter, whatever, then it's a good indication that you're not compatible. If he actually says such things to you in a badgering, persistent manner, then it is not love, but an attempt to control you. In that case, you may have to reconsider even staying with him. Don't try to make your boyfriend jealous. This might be a common theme in the movies but it's an action that springs straight from insecurity and unhappiness within yourself. It usually backfires and even if it doesn't, your future relationship is based solely on whether or not you'll be faithful or supportive, which is hardly the stuff of long-term happiness. Be open in your communications rather than using jealousy as a statement. Don't lead him on if you're not into everything. It might be amusing or "safe" to do so initially but it's extremely hurtful when he learns that you don't really love what he loves; he could be basing his thoughts about your role in his future on something that isn't real and it'll end up hurting both of you. If you feel the need to play games with your boyfriend, then you don't know the meaning of a true relationship and you're probably trying to protect yourself rather than enter an equal union. Be honest and open with him. If the two of you are mature, then you will handle the growth of your relationship correctly. Be Affectionate Be affectionate. There are various ways to show your affection, some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately. Think about how you like to show affection to people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking hair, supportive words, mentioning how great someone is in front of other people, etc. Men sometimes like it when a girl gives them a pet name like "Baby" or "Sweetheart." Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a major turn-off if you call them "Mr. Cuddle-Bear", especially in public. Of all things, good communication is the vital part of any relationship, so make sure that he knows how much you like him. Regular lovey-dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. These types of things do show you're into him, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare him! Be seductive. Don't be afraid to be seductive. Most men find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy and confident. Confidence means being happy within your own skin; you will exude this without trying if you are accepting of yourself and feel secure about your own worth. You don't have to force yourself to be the most popular, bubbly personality if that isn't your style; rather, be the best you on show by taking good care of yourself and trusting that you're worth his attention. See One Another as a Team As in any healthy relationship, you'll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other's back, you don't undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others. In times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things. Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together. HELPFUL TIPS Understand that all relationships are different and that there's no universal way to BE a good girlfriend since everyone has different tastes. If your boyfriend is acting passive toward you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy or introverted. Perhaps he has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. Or maybe he just isn't the kind of guy to shout from the rooftops but he still feels deeply for you. Talk to him about what causes him to act that way and be understanding. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative, because you've had more experience with relationships than he has. Or perhaps it really is just his way and you need to get used to it. Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. Sure, they'll have their opinions, just as you'll have your opinions about their relationships. But, you don't have to listen to every piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to. And realize that sometimes it's about their incompatibility with your boyfriend and that's okay––not everyone has to click perfectly. Simply agree to hear them out and ask them in turn to try their best to "get along" with him. Let him know he's right when he is. This is a huge confidence booster, just as admitting fault when you're to blame is a great way of smoothing over conflict in a relationship. Learn these skills early on and you'll have the basis for a strong and sharing relationship. Don't forget that he has a life of his own. Just because he didn't call you back for 10 minutes doesn't mean he's been cheating. You cannot be his one and only focus all the time. If you have issues with this, seek counseling to overcome obsessiveness or paranoia. Don't ever let anyone tell you how to live your life and definitely not a boyfriend. Don't let him pressure you; instead, be open about things, including the impact of any demands he makes on you. Equally, don't tell him how to live his life either. Don't try to change him. Just let him know things that you like, if he loves you he will try to do it next time. If he is so very different from the person you envisage spending your life with, consider finding that person instead and treating this relationship as a gift of learning. Don't avoid him or be shy of him when he wears an outfit that you don't like. You can buy something that suits him better or gradually teach him to change his fashion sense through pointing out the styles you like seeing on men. Don't be insecure about your appearance. If he's dating you, he obviously thinks you're attractive. And remember that smiling and be confident about yourself will bring out an inner beauty that is impossible to replicate with makeup, clothes or Botox! When you're out on a dinner date and he offers to pay, consider refusing. Doing so shows him that you aren't just in it for his money. Just remember, if the guy you like is somewhat old-fashioned, he may insist on paying anyway. In this case, let him be a gentleman or his feelings might be hurt. Guys like compliments too! Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely people who mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents and make sure they like you. Try doing little things, like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister. Never suffocate him! Ever! This is probably the most important tip that can be given. A good Girlfriend is a Girlfriend who lets him live. Do not stress him out for no good reason. Men hate this although we do want to communicate about the important things. Remember, your boyfriend is not one of your girlfriends. Also, by not suffocating your boyfriend, he will constantly be thinking of getting back to you, why? Well, you are his sunshine in a dark (stressful enough) world. WARNINGS Never flirt with his friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure him that he is the only guy for you. If you feel the need to flirt with them, it indicates that you're not ready for settling into a monogamous relationship. Don't be annoying. Annoying includes constant calls, getting angry when he spends time with friends, pestering him to spend more time with you, whining, complaining about other people all the time, asking for validation all the time (for example, always ending your sentences with "don't you think so?"), etc. Never lie. Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. There is such a thing as lying by omission––sometimes you need to say something for the sake of clearing the air where leaving it unsaid would lead him to think the wrong things. Don't look at his phone unless he makes it clear that it's okay. Expect the same in reverse. Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result in ultimately undermining trust for the long run.

...See more <<<<<<<<<<How to Be a Good Boyfriend>>>>>>>>>> Being a good boyfriend is within every guy's grasp –– it just requires a focus on making a consistent effort and behaving considerately. It also relies on having respect, both for your girlfriend and for yourself, in order to make the relationship one of equals. A successful relationship isn't something that just happens––you have to work at it––but the results are worth the effort. Here's how to be the best boyfriend in the world. Show Trust and Honesty Be honest. In any relationship, honesty is almost always the best policy. It may be difficult at times, but basing your interactions on truth will allow your relationship to breathe and feel secure. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which will often mean that the other person returns the same respect by being truthful in turn. Studies have found that when couples were more honest from the start, they are more likely to work on their relationship and grow together Temper your honesty with kindness. Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment. Instead, offer an alternative. For example, if she asks you if you like something she is trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off her great eyes/smile/hair. Don't sugarcoat the truth. It's the same with other problems: telling her what you like is fine, but you have to tell her what you don't like as well. Sugarcoating is fine, but deflecting isn't. Be prepared for her to be honest with you. Expect this kind of brutal honesty back from your girlfriend. If you both realize that expressing such opinions just comes out of caring and honesty, you'll have a better relationship. Foster trust and openness. This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs. Trust her and give her reason to trust you. Trust should form the foundation of your relationship; after all, love is a combination of trust and commitment. Avoid breathing down each other's necks––allow space to do things separately as well as apart, trusting in each other to honor the relationship. Openness, in combination with honesty, should blend in perfect harmony and help your relationship to endure. Show Support Be supportive. You can show support by being available, listening attentively and showing your interest in the things she has to tell you. When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to her needs. By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship. Don't brush her off. It's exasperating when someone seems to treat you in a condescending way, acting as if your interests are inferior to their own. Don't give your girlfriend cause to feel frustrated this way––remember that she is your girlfriend, and that you're with her because you like her and she likes being with you. Don't make her worry. If she feels that you're giving her the cold treatment, she'll be worried––it's far better to be open about your concerns than to go silent and express nothing. She can't read your mind, you need to explain your feelings and concerns as they arise. Be understanding if your girlfriend tries to gain your attention by being loud, talkative or even slightly whiny. If you haven't been paying her attention, she may be using these tactics to try and shake you out of your inner world so that you connect better with her again. A little attentiveness can go a long way to assuaging her frustration and restoring equilibrium to your relationship. Remember that relationships aren't a game––if she gets the impression that she has to badger you until you surrender and finally pay her attention, it'll become the norm, established by your disinterest. Don't let that happen. If you're in a particularly foul mood and you're concerned that you might overreact if asked to explain yourself, keep things really simple and buy yourself time rather than brushing her off. Say something simple like: "I'm feeling really angry right now. I don't want to fight like that. Let's talk later." And actually follow through later and talk as promised. Compliment your girlfriend sincerely. Every person appreciates a compliment, but you must mean it. Make sure your compliment focuses on something you genuinely like or admire about her. Go beyond the ordinary statements. For example, don't just say, "You look nice." Instead, say "That really makes your eyes shine," "Your haircut really suits the shape of your face," or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss her neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment. Show sympathy and empathy. If it means something to her, it means something to you. It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for her––a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive. Some examples of times when you need to be sympathetic and empathetic include: If she suffers the death of a pet, remember that to her it is a big deal. Her close attachment to her pet is natural; indeed, you may have experienced this attachment yourself. Losing a pet is like losing a family member for many people and it is important to acknowledge the hurt and pain that such a loss causes. Avoid telling her to stop crying or to get another pet. Instead, take the time to simply be there for her, to listen and hold her as you comfort her. Give her hugs and let her know that you're there for her. Try to use the pet's name rather than referring to it as simply "your cat" or "your dog". After a few days, she'll probably feel stronger but continue to be sympathetic. If she cries for a reason you can't be sure of, first determine if the tears are happy, sad, or frustrated. If happy, then be happy with her. If sad, find out what made her sad, and comfort her. Do not tell her to stop crying––doing so makes her feel like she's being a burden to you or like you don't care. Crying is actually a very healthy way to release emotions and get over whatever is bothering her. By asking her to stem that release you are also preventing her from resolving the issue faster. When she's at her most vulnerable, don't try and fix the problem for her. While this is often an automatic male reflex, she doesn't want her problem "fixed". She wants to clear her emotions and simply have you accept that. Of course, much later, once she seems calmer and more at ease with the matter, by all means offer your help and ideas for resolving the matter. Show affection often and without fear. Demonstrate to your girlfriend that you love her by being affectionate. Small touches, hugs, a kiss and maybe a little public display of affection (PDA) are just some of the ways of connecting through affection. Don't overdo it––you don't want to make her uncomfortable. Remember to read her signs, and if she's not in the mood, don't kiss her! Make physical contact. Girls are usually more sensitive than guys, so even a light touch is appreciated. If your girl is a romantic, upon seeing her for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you..." and weave your arms around her hips then give her a loving hug. A hug in public can last anywhere from five seconds, to a minute or two but again, read her signals to see if time's up. If you have been together with your girlfriend for longer, and have kissed before, feel free to also give a light kiss on her lips/cheek/forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate her presence. Or just kiss her hand by clasping and bringing it up to your lips. If you're not sure how your girlfriend feels about public displays of affection, be discreet. Be Spontaneous Mix things up. Try not to fall into a rut of always doing the same things. While you probably have one or two regular things you enjoy doing together, avoid making the regular the only things you do. Instead, try visiting new places, giving new activities a go and going to different parts of town. Even if the new activities don't turn out the way you'd hoped, at least you've shared the experience and are getting to know one another even better.

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