Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?

276 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:18pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD

Psychologist

I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
considerateHope63
September 13th, 2018 10:11pm
You can try new things and take time to start conversations where you could get into the habit of opening up to someone about something you are feeling and try to step out of your comfort zone to see what it feels like. You can also practice on trying how to communicate with others and put effort to talk so it also won't be so weird if it is really difficult you can talk to your peers and ask for some advice or speak to your closset friend and start off slow by telling them how you feel or ask them if they are willing to hear you open up
Anonymous
October 16th, 2019 2:20am
Opening up to people can be super hard at times, but it's not impossible. I used to be super guarded, but then I learned that people want to get to know me, and actually care about my feelings and experiences. Breaking that barrier between friends can be scary, but once its down, you feel closer and more connected with the people you know. I know that feeling of being worried you'll be judged or looked down upon, and it can be crippling sometimes, but the truth is that that most people are empathetic and kind. I learned to surround myself with people who I knew cared about me, and wanted me to be open, finding your circle is very important.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2019 8:18am
If someone trusts you, chances are they value you as a close friend, and would want you to trust them. So people that lay their soul bare for you and seek you out for help, and really appreciate you for that (well first think of how warm and happy that makes you feel like that you are their sounding board for the issues of life, and that may be exactly how they feel if you open up to them), they would definitely like to return the favor. Realize that you are no less than anyone else and probably a beautiful person and if you're best friends with someone they deserve to see the inner you just as much as you deserve to see the inner them
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2019 4:15pm
I know that opening up towards people is hard. I have been there and it is never easy, but I began with people whom I have considered close. As time passes it began to be easier and easier. I know you are your own person but if it makes you feel any better, a lot of us go through with what you are going through. You're not alone and we are here for you. I hope you have a great day and that you feel better through time. I used to close off on the people I love, but that didn't help me at all. Try not to do the same.
MissLisa
August 22nd, 2019 8:55pm
You must start by asking yourself why you find it hard to open up to people to begin with? What has happened in your past to build up to this? Many times people have been betrayed or cheated on which leads them to find it difficult to open up again in the future. It is important that you address these issues so that they don’t have an effect on later relationships. Also be mindful that not everyone is out to betray or cheat on you. It is wrong to judge people in later relationships just because you’ve been hurt before.
avacadopink
February 12th, 2022 7:45am
It's typically best to start small, with someone you can trust and a modest issue you wish to share, and work your way up from there. I understand that it can be frightening; nevertheless, by starting slowly, you may find that your fear and level of fear decreases. I hope you discover a method that works for you; this is how I learned to communicate with others. Start with online talking to people (like on this site) and talking to friends and family! As you get more comfortable, you can slowly begin talking to more and more people. hope this helps
Kristinakogaa
June 15th, 2019 11:24pm
Until you know that the people you open are not here to get at you or use what you said against you, you can open up freely and without having to be scared. The only reason one would be scared to open up to people is if you feel you will be judged, thought of differently, laughed at, etc. You have to let yourself take the risk to open up and trust them. (preferred to only tell people who you trust as not everyone needs to know everything you go through.) After you open up, you'll feel so much better and you'll be relieved you did open up at the end of the day!
Hanaa00
June 12th, 2019 11:39pm
This can be a very tricky question, especially if you are naturally a private person and cannot easily share things about yourself and your life with other people. However, in order to make connections with others, especially if we want those connections to be meaningful, we have to open up more. I feel like we might want to start by sharing anecdotes of ours that aren’t all that essential to who we are, yet can give much space for other people to share their own and become comfortable around us. And by seeing that they are enjoying our company and that they are comfortable, we can eventually start sharing more stuff of our own as well. It is a process and it takes time, and that is okay.
Joye74
May 30th, 2019 9:58am
It's threatening to open up or extend the comfort zone. But, as we do things beyond your comfort zone new strengths develop. I use 10-15 minutes or something like that as needed for allowing or challenging myself to stay in that uncomfortable zone of communication. I take it that 15-20 minutes as opportunity sometime or other time just set aside to be uncomfortable on opening up to people. In those minutes, I am not at myself but something who don't have ego, fear, or threat to open up. That duration usually shrinks or extends but doing so is relieving and also give accomplishment feel
Blynng
May 16th, 2019 4:30am
Opening up is scary for a lot of people, but it doesn't make your situation any less unique! I work with a lot of people that are harboring private or personal secrets that they want to share with family and friends. What I typically suggest is that you take some time to not only consider what you want to say, but also who you want to share with. When you know who you want to share with, consider each person individually. Who are they, what do they like, do they share with you? All you really need is one person to talk to, because after having one person you can really open up to, the next will be easier, and the one after that easier still! Opening up to others is a choice we have to make, and continue making, until it becomes natural for those of us that feel hesitant to do so. Good luck!!!
Anonymous
April 24th, 2022 12:31pm
You can start with small steps without forcing yourself. From the smallest details to the smallest details. It can be easier and more fun if you listen to the other person. The best part of conversations is that both parties understand each other. As you talk, your fears will lessen and you will begin to feel safe sharing things with each other. Talk about anything without forcing yourself. Don't expect what you don't want from the other party and back off when you feel uncomfortable. Try to express yourself in the simplest way and do not be afraid. Everything will get easier with time.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2019 10:22am
Opening up to people is not easy and it should not have to be. You got to find the right people the one that you can actually connect with and you can see around for a longer period of time. It will come naturally. Fear is normal it happens to everyone especially if you have been burned before, it gets harder but the first them is admitting that there is something you want to change. So choose your tribe wisely and you will have a lot easier time to open up and enjoy the fact that you do. Stay amazing :)
Anonymous
March 15th, 2019 7:06am
Me personally. I feel safe opening up to people just by putting myself out there to socialize even if I do feel uncomfortable. I look at it like this people can either accept you or don't. On the other end no-one has ever accepted me, but to me its really no big deal; because at the end of the day I usually don't want to be accepted by no-one one who has bad company involved with them. Not saying that everyone who is social with others, or me has bad company involved with them, but I guess what I am saying if people don't like you, due to you trying to open up its probably best that you isolate yourself from those type of people.
MarkHunter108
February 27th, 2019 11:15am
Overcoming your fear of opening up can be resolved by conquering it. (I draw this from my own experience). When I was little I couldn't talk to strangers, never mind opening up to them. I then forced myself to talk to strangers and to open up to people who cared. It takes a lot of willpower, and it's extremely scary, but eventually it gets easier. I can now talk to anyone without feeling awkward or scared and I can open up to people close to me. To practice opening up, you can use 7 Cups. It's not as direct as face-to-face, but it can lessen difficulty over time and make face-to-face less scary. Start small, go big; I always say. I hope this answers your question. With kind regards, Mark H.
Anonymous
February 27th, 2019 12:41am
It’s terrifying to give away a piece of yourself to someone else. No matter how many times you open up to people, it never will be easy. You know yourself better than anybody else on this earth — and you will choose your own path. The easiest path to take isn’t always the right one, and the right path isn’t ever the easy one. But if you work for what you want while doing what’s right, it’ll all be worth it in the end; even it you got burned along the way. The ones who take the cheap, easier ways? Well, they can try to enjoy what they get without knowing how good it really is. I hope this makes sense; my point remains! TLDR: doing the right/good thing will never be easy, but it will always be worth it.
Thmas
May 20th, 2018 1:34pm
Practice every day and take small steps to increase the difficulty. That way you take smaller challenges at a time and it will come to you naturally
heartfulBeauty84
June 23rd, 2018 2:50am
Start small. You don't have to tell people your life story all at once. Tell them little facts about your life. Once you do it more often, it'll get easier!
beautifulbird
June 23rd, 2018 2:45am
opening up to people can be super hard sometimes, just try to be honest and share what you're comfortable sharing with the people around you that you trust the most. stay safe
LovelyLinaeBza
June 16th, 2018 5:18am
You can open up to more people by joining events, activities and others. Try other cultures and learn from them.
Taconnie72
June 13th, 2018 4:48am
Start off small, Ask someone if you can borrow a pencil or something and try starting a conversation with them. Try to talk to people who seem lonely because they are probably just as scared as you are. It will be hard opening up to people at first but you will get used to it after a while. Don’t be afraid to go a little out of your comfort zone.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 12:26am
By saying how you feel, without thinking about it. I understand it can be hard to talk to someone if you're scared, but it's better to be scared than to sit and think that you're alone.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2018 2:19pm
Try to start with small scale first. Like talking to your friends about hobbies and stuffs, then try bigger scale, like to your neighbors and people at the supermarket. After some time, you'll get used to it. Trust me ;)
kindheartedSoul43
May 23rd, 2018 9:32pm
This may seem stupid but do it. Life is terrifying and plenty of things are going to scare you, if you trust the person to open up to them and if you feel that its important than just take a deep breath, and tell them. Once its out it's easy, a weight will have been lifted off your chest.
HarleysApricot
May 2nd, 2018 2:27am
Push yourself. Push beyond the butterflies, the nerves, the fear, just everything. And don't be to hard on yourself. Be patient with yourself too. Don't think pushing yourself is forcing yourself.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2022 3:18pm
Opening up to people can be crazy hard sometimes. The trust level for this depends on how much you care about the person. There are so many factors to this, as well as if they can keep secrets, it's okay to be scared. Just remember that some people feel comfortable sharing and others don't. You don't have to open up to anyone if you don't want to. There is a certain amount of trust people have, and others breaking your trust can also be in consideration. Trusting people can be tough, we all feel that way sometimes. Take care and good luck.
peacefulHug92
April 14th, 2018 7:26am
I suppose it's good to start small - tell someone a tiny thing about you that makes you feel uncomfortable, then you have achieved the first step *high fives* next try saying something else/something more and keep going. I believe that you can do this buddy ❤
wishfulRose80
April 25th, 2018 11:10pm
Start by talking to someone you are close with. You just have to take the first step, and then things will start falling into place. Once you get comfortable opening up to that person, try someone you are not as close with. Continue this process!
Abby040304
May 17th, 2018 1:43am
Its very scary opening up to people for multiple reasons. But it always feels good after if you tell the right people who care and/or love you. Be sure to start with the people you're closest to, either if that's a parent, significant other, friend or anyone. If they play a big part in your life, they deserve to know and they should want to help you with whatever your going through. You can start by just a regular conversation, it can be worrying but talking to the person about something else first eases everything. This is what i do, i always say "I need to tell you something". It will be hard to spit it out but that means they know something is up, and you have no way of backing out. Then you say it, you can tell the person to wait to say anything until you're done explaining. Also, haha, do it in a comfortable environment, not someplace tense, like a grocery store. Always remember, everyone needs to open up about something some time in their life, so you are not alone!
blissfulEyes47
May 20th, 2018 12:43pm
Be confident and make sure you take a step at a time don’t rush! Write out what your going to say before hand on notes so it gets you prepared but most of all be brave and you’ll be fine.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 8:18am
I suggest you need sometime..You don't have to open up at one go..Take some time and breathe relax and don't stress out..Eventually you'll open up