Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What do I do if I love 2 people at once?

182 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 12:57pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
LittleLemon96
September 3rd, 2016 9:38am
Well , as we say, love has no rules, it might be a betrayal for both people if they don't know, in general it doesn't last long, you shoud also tell them both about it to avoid problems later
YellowDragKane
September 3rd, 2016 10:18pm
Choose the person you loved after the first one because if you really loved them there would be no room in your heart for another love.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2016 1:30am
Reflect on your feelings and see who you feel more strongly towards. Then maybe tell them both and see which works out?
Shadowwing231990
September 9th, 2016 10:16am
if you love two people at once it can be hard to make a choice between them it is up to the person .
Anonymous
September 9th, 2016 6:18pm
Choose the second ; because if the first was your true love you wouldn't have fallen for the second.
gentlePurple37
September 9th, 2016 10:33pm
Being in love is great experience I can love two peoples at once but not in same manner and intentions We need to know it
Anonymous
September 10th, 2016 3:01pm
You have to choose whom you love the most, and let go of the other. Choose who makes you happy, choose who you care the most.
czessyyy
September 12th, 2016 9:09am
Take time to rethink and reflect what the other person made you feel that the other didn't. Try to focus on the reasons, because maybe you are just in the peak of your emotions.
Maat7
September 13th, 2016 1:06am
If all of you are in agreement and willing, you can enjoy a polyamorous/open relationship and explore those feelings. If that's not for you, then you can practice that love in different forms, like friendship. Love comes in so many forms, and as long as is explored with honesty, empathy for the feelings of others, and is healthy for our parties involved, all forms are valid.
llauren90
September 14th, 2016 3:17pm
It is important to take a moment to evaluate yourself. Reflect on how you feel about yourself, and make sure you love yourself before you can love another person. Self-love is the start to a healthy life.
Chinmay96
September 15th, 2016 11:39am
I need to think over it, ask myself questions and give times for observing things around me. Love is not always as we tell ourself that we are in love or we truly love someone, most of the time, it can be infatuation or we are just confused with some feelings, whatever it is we need to give time and understand those feelings before labeling them as love! :)
Hoperay97
September 23rd, 2016 3:44pm
Well, If day go for the second one because you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second one of you still loved the first one... I hope this helped though ^^ If not, you can always come to me to talk of you need to :)
Anonymous
September 30th, 2016 10:58pm
"if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”
1Justlikeyou
October 1st, 2016 9:42pm
Are you sure that you love both of them? Maybe you have to find out that.Other way keep loving them.Love won't hurt anyone
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 4:05am
You can love multiple people, dozens, but you can only be in love with one person, you will have to decide who makes you a better person, makes you happier, they'll be the reason you smile, you will know who it is. And it's best to make the decision soon, you can't be with two people at once, and the person whom you don't pick, you don't want to lead them on.
psychedelicpsychologist
October 21st, 2016 2:47am
Well, I used to think I loved 2 people at once, but I realized that it was only what I thought. But then I noticed something; every time I was thinking about them at the same time, and when I was comparing them, one was the first to remember, and the other one was the second to remember. Even now when I'm writting this, I'm imagining like that. #1 was more important for me. The first that crosses my mind when I say "one". Easy.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2016 4:55am
Just think about the consequences. Know what you want and make the best choice. Just be sure to decide before its too late.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2016 9:10pm
It's a difficult predicament to be in, all you can do is try to sort through your feelings to decide if you feel differently about one than the other
purpleRaven76
January 22nd, 2017 1:47pm
Can you tell them both about each other, and express your love for both openly? If so, tell them. If you find you can't be open about your loving nature, loving more than one (polyamory) might not be for you. Or, if the two people don't want to be involved knowing that you love another, respecting their wishes is also an act of love.
BlissfulSummer
February 12th, 2017 4:47am
It does happen that you start liking 2 people at once. It's best to take some time and not rush into things. Taking some time and sorting out feelings, then let them know cause stringing them along cause you are confused isn't fair to them as well. Even though one might be afraid of loosing them , talking to them can be the best option as well because miscommunications can be the cause of greater problems.
strawberryPanda48
February 17th, 2017 4:10pm
When you find yourself loving 2 persons at once first you need to identify what you want in a partner/relationship and where you see your future. Then assess each person and see who you can have a mutual and lifetime partnership with. It's risky and dangerous to keep both persons as you can get hurt and even hurt someone else. Also you need to talk to the other person when you've made a decision and do it in an appropriate manner.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2017 10:54pm
Depends on the people you are in love with, if the people you love are opposite genders, bi, or gay, they may be able to accept each other, and have a more connected relationship. If each demand monogamy then a really nasty headache will happen. Ideally it would be wonderful for a 3 some relationship, but all parties would need to be open and honest with everyone else. No honesty kills any relationship.
grintaehyung
May 14th, 2017 7:31am
Loving two people at once is something skeptical to think about. Let's look at a certain angle. Try to not balance the love you give them. Who deserves better? Who is more compatible to you? What will change if you pick that one? Think of the consequences.
FeriWitch
June 4th, 2017 11:10pm
Many people manage to have relationships with multiple people at once; that's how polyamory works. However, that can be difficult - for it to work out, everyone has to be okay with it, and it takes a lot of communication and negotiating individual needs. There's nothing wrong with relationships that contain more than two people. There are often problems with relationships where one person has two partners, but those two aren't free to also have other partners.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2017 7:45am
Love hurts sometimes. If theres two people you love, there's something you gotta determine. Who do you really love better? Who treats you better? Who's been there for you? Who fights for you? Who, overall, makes you a happier, better person? Spend time with both. determine who you really want to make things official with. And no matter what - don't cheat. Sometimes if you love two people it can get hard to choose. But in the end, you'll end up losing both. Choose wisely and make sure you think hard. Don't just go, "hmm, oh yeah it's fred i think! yeahit's fred." This is a hard decision that needs long hours, maybe days, of thinking. Don't take action until you know you've got the right answer and you know both the people.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2017 12:25pm
Don't choose any. Wait things out, see which one you can see yourself being with for a while. Until you have a final answer of one person, don't make any moves.
Raeitsokay
September 21st, 2017 10:44am
There is nothing wrong with loving two people at once. Its only ever a problem when you are with one person officially. Like your in a relationship but your also with the other person you love on the side. there is a name for people who love more than one person at one and it called being polyamourous. The best advice would be is to look up what that means and explore you feelings for both people and find out why you love them. If by the end of it you still feel the same then you need to talk to both of them. Because they may accept you for who you are and that way you can love both together and not cheat or be apart from one or the other.
IndigoEmpath
November 29th, 2017 11:07am
Be honest with both of them on your feelings. Empathize with how you would feel if you were in their position and be sure to not keep them confused or in the dark of where y'all stand.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:37am
You're poly amorous, and it's best to inform the two of that rather than try and manage two people at the same time.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2018 8:46am
Talk about it with the two people in question. This way you will be honest with you and with them and reach an understanding in common.