My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?

I believe we cannot force people to like us, to accept us the way we want. But surely, one day we will meet someone who can accept us no matter how imperfect we are..

As much as it hurts, you have to respect his decision. Not everyone is capable of holding space for those of us that are struggling with mental illness. Reaching out to friends who get me, connecting with myself, connecting with nature, and speaking to my therapist are things I have done when I've been let down like this.

Sadly, sometimes people are not able to cope with others who have mental health issues. This does not mean that you have done something wrong, but it means that some people do not know how to cope and give the proper support you need. The best thing you can do is to remember we can not control how others feel or how they react to us, but we can control ourselves. Take some time for self care and talk about things with friends and family. Keep moving forward and reach your full potential as you are meant to do!

Ask him why he feels this way and what help could be provided to you to help you get through the hard mental state and if he refuses and says he can’t love you because your mental health he never truly loved you

Sadly as much as you'd like to convince him to stay it's something you will have to respect. Perhaps you could sit down and talk with him about it, see if you can come to a resolution.

If he can't learn to support you and love you for who you are, forget about him. You deserve someone who will value you and give you the love and support you need. Sometimes a counselor can also help both partners in the relationship.

you should be honest with him and tell him it hurts your feelings. have a private discussion about both of your feelings and find a solution that works.

As hurtful as it may be, if he is not comfortable being with you, that is his call. But on the other side of this, if you are not comfortable being just friends, that is your call as well. All you can really do is respect his choices and focus on making your own.

He clearly wasn't someone you could rely on to begin with. If you disagree, I suggest offering that you two get help together. It'll possibly restore your bond while simultaneously helping you, mentally.

I suggest that you talk to him about how you are affecting him. Better understand his point of view. But do not think negatively of yourself. If it is something small that you feel can be changed go for it. But if it goes on a deeper level of separation then consider friendship as perhaps a good thing

I think you have to respect his decision and perhaps focus on yourself for a while. Consider counselling to help you get through any issues you may be having and learn to build a relationship with yourself, looking after yourself and caring for yourself are the first steps in having a fully functional relationship. Until we can have a good relationship with ourselves, its impossible to have one with someone else.

Respect that he has come to you honestly, this must have been difficult. Maybe now you should also open up to him and say how this has hurt you. When you are both on the same page, it makes it a lot easier to solve the problem together.

It is important to protect yourself and be aware of negative influences. Keep yourself as the priority and take your time to heal.

There's not much you can do about him he has already made this choice right on focus on yourself and your needs

Well, you must respect his wishes if he wants to end the relationship, he must respect yours if you are incapable of friendship. However, if you want to make it work, you may need to better explain what mental health care helps, how you cope, how to make it easier for him to understand and tend, as well as help you understand that he too is taking on the pressure, and must also be tended and nurtured. Both parties may have to work harder to make the whole thing work. It is up to the two of you.

I understand that you are hurt. No relationship is easy, but if he feels a certain way you should listen to him. It was hurtful I am sure to be told "nothing ever happened", and I think that was inconsiderate of your feelings. I would try maybe talking to him how that hurt you. Feel free to reach out to me personally, I understand am here to help with compassion and guide you to the best of my abilities.

You should speak to him about what he means by this and think about if he cannot support you on your lows, then wouldn’t you want someone else to be there with you on your highs?

Take this time to focus on managing your mental health and finding love for yourself. Become the best version of yourself. Focusing on someone else and their view or love for you is only a distraction to your overall goal of controlling your life. I am sure that you love him and you can see how this may be a lot for him to comprehend, but if it meant to be then it will happen with time and effort. Be selfish and only worry about you and what is best for you. If that leads to you two getting back together, great!! If not, then you have the best version of yourself to give to another guy who can love you, and grow with you more than you could imagine.

Talk to hik about him this has made you feel. And if he doesn't care don't be his friend. He needs to understand your mental health is not something you can easily change, and if he doesn't get that he isn't the right person for you. I'm sure you can find someone else, and they will be completely accepting of your mental health, what ever it may be. A partner should completely accept you. He can't decide that your mental health is "too much" or act like you can change it for him. If he doesn't understand that's his problem. So -Divina

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss of a relationship that was important to you. While it was likely painful to hear that he felt way, it is very special that he was honest with you. If you feel comfortable, I would recommend thanking him for his honestly, and only maintain a friendship if you think that would be beneficial in your life. If a friendship would be too painful, I might suggest creating space. If you believe your mental health could use some tending to, I would recommend reaching out to a professional support system such as counselors, doctors, and other types of healers.

I am very sorry this is happening for you, right now. The last thing you need during this stressful time is losing someone important to you. Being supportive for other people can be tiring and stressful in itself - so I can see where he may be affected by this. However, that being said, ending a relationship in that way is not helpful at all to you. You do not deserve this. What you could do is try reaching out to other family and friends for support. Try not to get caught up in what your boyfriend needs. Focus on yourself and your own mental health. It's OK to feel hurt, you have every right to feel the way you do.

That’s one big thing to unload on you! To start, take some time to process that information, it could take a while but tell him you need some time to process it so you can have a clear mind for what’s to come. After you take some time for yourself to recover, you could ask him what happened and why your mental health suddenly affected him so much. This could give you closure and a possible opportunity to clear it up with him. You could also do this before taking some time for yourself if you feel like you can. After that, all you have to do is listen to what he has to say. If it’s something you think you can fix, you can tell him you want to work on the relationship. If it’s too much for you, that’s okay. Sometimes people can’t handle certain mental health issues and if he felt like it was too much for him then he’s not good for you anyway. It’ll get better with time and you’ll be able to find someone who will love you for you. :)

I can understand why this would hurt you. Being in a relationship can be stressful and it can be even more so when mental health is involved. It is important for both of you to be healthy in whatever kind of relationship or friendship you choose. It can be difficult when a person wants something different than they have been giving you previously. I can tell you are anxious about this but sometimes your mental health is not something you are in complete control of. Your mental health is very important to your well-being and know that your mental health does affect other people around you and those who care about you.

Hello. I am very sorry that this happened and you had to go through this hurtful experience. I had went through something similar and it was not easy either. Having a mental health issue is something serious and hard, and it is constant struggle for people who experience this. Its not easy, but if you strong. But you also have to remember that it can also affect the people around you, depending on how you handle it. Sometimes people around you can not accept or handle it, but you have to keep in mind that that is never your fault. Everyone has their own battles. It sucks that your boyfriend said that but on the bright side, he still wants to try to be supportive as a friend. This means he still wants to support you, and maybe it might be better for both of you that way. Who knows maybe he can cope with it better and you can find someone who can understand you situation better and accept it better.

Ultimately, there's nothing you can do. Sometimes, people just aren't equipped to handle mental health issues. t's not your fault through and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. If you feel your mental health is affecting your relationships, try talking to the person about it. Make sure boundaries are clear. Make sure that you and the other person are aware of what that person is able to handle. Don't dump your issues onto people so much that it becomes their problem. Venting is one thing, but making your issues someone else's is another. If your boyfriend of a long time is leaving you, maybe take it as a sign to seek professional help. Get the help you may need and try again with him in the future. He probably doesn't hate you, he just isn't able to handle the stress.

Mental illness can make a person very selfish. Please don't take this as a put down. I have destroyed many a relationship because of mental illness. It is not easy for someone to deal with. Keep in mind that he hates the game not the player. I don't know what types of things have happened between you and your boyfriend. You say he is long-term so he must really care for you and love you if he stayed in it this long. Focus on getting some help for yourself right now. You want to be the best you can be for yourself and secondary for others. He will see that you are being proactive about wanting to get better. Don't push him too much and keep in your life as a friend, he sounds like he is a good supporter. All successful relationships involve some give and take. You want to be able to bring something good to the table as well as receive goodness. Good luck!

it's totally understandable why it would have hurt you. as a boyfriend who's been with you for so long, you would expect him to be the person who understands you most, or at the very least not use your mental health as a reason to be friends instead of partner. of course, it would have been nice if he could actually bring this up during the relationship where both of you could work something out. but at this point, it's important that you think about what you truly want. perhaps you could focus on your mental health and try to be better than before. if he has left, he's probably also hurt himself.

I would let him know how you feel, but I would also realize that if that's how he feels then you need to respect that. If he wants to end your relationship there's nothing you can really do about it. I know it's hard to end a relationship with someone you love, but you also can't force it. If you want to continue being friends you need to be careful that your feelings for him are gone. If you still have feelings for him then you shouldn't try to be friends. I know how hard it is to let someone go, but sometimes its for the best.

I am sorry to hear that , I can’t give you advice , but I can listen and guide, I see that you may feel saddened by what he said and how your mental health is going , talking about your mental health always helps ,he may just be dealing with he’s own problems to , have you tried getting help for your mental health and maybe talking about this Witt him so that you guys can discuss a way that would make you both feel better for the time being and not be hurting both of you at the same time ?

I think you should respect his decision of keeping some space and remaining friends until he feels better and he thinks his mental health is getting better. after this he might want to get back with you, but right now probably isn't the greatest and if he does not feel the greatest, he might not give you the attention you deserve and that can ruin your relationship. it can lead to a falling out which you would not want so i think you should respect his decision and so you guys can get closer to each other slowly without hurting your relationship or any chances of it.