My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?

You should speak to him about what he means by this and think about if he cannot support you on your lows, then wouldn’t you want someone else to be there with you on your highs?

Take this time to focus on managing your mental health and finding love for yourself. Become the best version of yourself. Focusing on someone else and their view or love for you is only a distraction to your overall goal of controlling your life. I am sure that you love him and you can see how this may be a lot for him to comprehend, but if it meant to be then it will happen with time and effort. Be selfish and only worry about you and what is best for you. If that leads to you two getting back together, great!! If not, then you have the best version of yourself to give to another guy who can love you, and grow with you more than you could imagine.

Talk to hik about him this has made you feel. And if he doesn't care don't be his friend. He needs to understand your mental health is not something you can easily change, and if he doesn't get that he isn't the right person for you. I'm sure you can find someone else, and they will be completely accepting of your mental health, what ever it may be. A partner should completely accept you. He can't decide that your mental health is "too much" or act like you can change it for him. If he doesn't understand that's his problem. So -Divina

You should address it calmly let him know that it hurt you let him know that you are willing to be friends, but you'll never be able to pretend like nothing happened because he was apart of your life and that hard to forget just like that. then you should take care of yourself hold your head high and never forget that you are beautiful and he was something you had to go through to get to the person you will meet in the future that will love you and help you with your mental health problems and know that even though it's going to hurt you have to keep going don't let him see how much it has hurt you because you are amazing and we as girls have girl power

It's difficult to accept that your boyfriend isn't supportive of your struggles with mental health. Struggling with mental health isn't the easiest thing to deal with. Maybe you should be friends with him & focus on yourself for the time being. Take a new hobby like drawing, writing poetry, or cooking. Take the energy to focus on you and ask yourself how you want to improve. Create goals such as travelling around the world, meeting new people, getting a therapist to help you with your mental health issues, or learning a new language to meet new people. Those are some ideas that I have.

I had similar thing with my boyfriend a few years ago. I tried everything to get him back because that's all I wanted I even pretended I was fine. But he saw through that. It wasn't until I looked at myself and I thought about what I was going and how I could go through things. I realised I actually did need help. So I went and got help took a long time but i started to sort myself out. Then me and the boy started talking again became friend and eventually got back together. You have to do things for yourself not to win someone round. Might take months or years but if your meant to be together you will be.

I myself would ask him why he wants to be just friends, what in your mental health affected him and how. I think the most important thing in this is that you two talk it all through, so both of you are on the same so-called level. This way, you two have an understanding of how you two feel. And, do not forget to tell him how this makes you feel. I think you should always tell the other person how you feel if they have hurt you by words or actions. Speaking up of problems helps a lot. After all of this, you can both re-evaluate whether you want to truly stay as friends, or continue being girlfriend and boyfriend.

It's understandable how this can really hurt you and how it can make you feel unwanted and unloved. However, it is good that he was so open and honest about it. He says he feels affected by your mental health, so he would like to just be friends. It's a simple reaction to take care of himself. And that is normal. It will hurt a lot, but you should respect his decision. Is there anything positive you can take from this? You'll have more time to focus on yourself. You can learn how to be happy on your own and how to accept yourself outside of this relationship. You can learn not to be dependent on him or any other boyfriend that might come along. It will be difficult and it will hurt a lot, but maybe you can see this also as a chance for personal growth.

talk to him about. tell him how this makes you feel and maybe even talk to your parents about it. they might be able to help you. if you dont feel better after that then try to get out and do things. distractions are an easy way to forgive and forget. im not giving adivse im just telling you from personal experience what i have done when this has happened to me. break ups are hard, they are even harder when you feel like they are your fault. it is not your fault though it is his because he cant handle something that is hard to deal with. he just isnt the right guy for you.

Look words can hurt, but you should go talk to someone like your parents, teachers or friends because I have never been in your shows and don’t know, but don’t always listen to people have your own personality don’t let one boy ruin your confidence you have on yourself, and always know love is all about how much can you handle each other no matter what you have he must take care of you and still be together this is what true love really is but if you also think it might not work then go ahead no one is stopping you but keep in mind, you are the best!

You need to talk to him about this and explain to him that this has hurt you deeply. Communication is essential in this. See what he says and explain that your feelings have been hurt. If he doesn’t want to be with you, then understand what the real reasons are. Explain that you are getting help and hoping to work through these issues and being in a long term relationship with him has made you very happy. If he understands this he will want to support you and be with you. If not, then you will be able to move on.

Never let someone project the way they feel on your, or force you to take the blame for anything. When engaging with someone in a debate I always try to avoid words that generally accuse or lead people to acquiesce. What you can't do is take advice from others, you have to figure your relationship out yourself because nobody knows it better than you. I've been in a relationship for almost ten years, we've been through ups and downs that most couples could only imagine. Nothing is set in stone, your future is yours alone and with or without a specific person, there are billions of others out in the world to keep you company and plenty of listeners here on 7 cups who truly love and support you!

Tell him what you think about it and how you feel. He needs to know both sides of the story and not just one. It hurts you and that is okay. It is okay to feel it and talk about it. Love hurts and it hurts to let someone go but sometimes we must take care of our own healthy first. It is like a list: 1. You 2. Then a very long time nobody 3. The people around you. You are the most important person in your life and it is really important that you put yourself on the first and not someone else. Talk about it and maybe try to feel like he does. It will help. Best luck!

In situations like that, it might be best to acknowledge that, unfortunately, they aren't the person you may need right now. Everyone needs someone they can lean on for things like mental health, and it seems like he is unable to be supportive. It will probably hurt, but letting him go might best the best thing for you. It is also important to understand that hurting is normal, and you can grieve the relationship. However, don't let the grief control you. You need to take care of yourself both mentally and be surrounded with people who help you with that, and if he can't than letting him go will help you continue on your path.

I know it hurts but you have to honor and respect his wishes. Because it is beginning to look like he might not be the right person for you. I know this hurt but it is better for it to happen right now than to be in a committed relationship like marriage. Count your blessings and try to be patient until the right person comes along for you. The right person will be able to accept you for who you are and be willing to fight along side with you when the battles come your way. Hang in there my friend and I pray nothing but the best for you as you move forward with your life.

You try your absolute best to accept it for what it is. If he's really worth it and you really care and love him, he'll find his way back to you. In the mean time focus on being becoming the best version of you, if we want others to love us we have to love ourselves first. He could love you endlessly but it wouldn't feel right if you don't believe that you deserve every compliment he gives you and all his affection and love he showers you with. You don't need to find someone to be your other half you need someone to be your co-pilot, someone that loves you for who you are

As horrible as it sounds, you have to accept it. Mental health is a really tough issue, and it can take a big toll on people around you as well. This is a common issue, sometimes referred to as vicarious trauma, where other people who hear about your issues start to experience their own issues as a result. This isn't your fault, but other people have to decide what is best for them as well. It isn't wrong for him to want to be happy and take care of his mental health, although he should have had more of a conversation with you before just breaking up.

As much as this may hurt you, you have to respect his wishes. Mental health can be difficult to handle not just yourself but for the individuals in your life as well. It can be difficult for other especially those who don't have mental health struggles to deal with situations relating to mental health. Although it isn't ideal you have to understand that your significant other or anyone else doesn't owe you anything even regarding your mental health state. It hurts to hear it, trust me I've been in the same situation as you are now and it was difficult but I promise the feelings that you are going through right now are not permanent even though they may feel like they are. Their feelings are just as valid as yours are. Communicate though if you don't feel you can handle being just friends let him know that and move away from the situation but if you are willing be to be just friends also let him know that to. With situations like this I understand it isn't ideal but it'll help with growth and allow other opportunities in the future. Please remember that someone who cannot handle mental health struggles is not obligated to stay in your life and they are probably not the best match for you. Mental health can be a challenging thing even outside of relationships, please remember that you deserve someone who can understand and can manage a life with someone who has mental health struggles. You deserve the very best and please never settle for less! I am sorry you are going through this but you can get past this, I believe in you! You have the support of this community and much more so please know you are not alone.

Do not take responsibility for how your boyfriends feels. Each person is responsible for their own actions. The fact that the relationship was long-term indicates he was willing to be a part of your life. Try to look back over the relationship and see if you can pinpoint when it began to change. Look for small, subtle changes. They will give some indication of what really happened. If he was terrible affected by your mental health he would not want to be friends. Continue to work on being mentally healthy and end all association with him, except for the occasional hello.

I am very sorry this is happening for you, right now. The last thing you need during this stressful time is losing someone important to you. Being supportive for other people can be tiring and stressful in itself - so I can see where he may be affected by this. However, that being said, ending a relationship in that way is not helpful at all to you. You do not deserve this. What you could do is try reaching out to other family and friends for support. Try not to get caught up in what your boyfriend needs. Focus on yourself and your own mental health. It's OK to feel hurt, you have every right to feel the way you do.

That’s one big thing to unload on you! To start, take some time to process that information, it could take a while but tell him you need some time to process it so you can have a clear mind for what’s to come. After you take some time for yourself to recover, you could ask him what happened and why your mental health suddenly affected him so much. This could give you closure and a possible opportunity to clear it up with him. You could also do this before taking some time for yourself if you feel like you can. After that, all you have to do is listen to what he has to say. If it’s something you think you can fix, you can tell him you want to work on the relationship. If it’s too much for you, that’s okay. Sometimes people can’t handle certain mental health issues and if he felt like it was too much for him then he’s not good for you anyway. It’ll get better with time and you’ll be able to find someone who will love you for you. :)

I can understand why this would hurt you. Being in a relationship can be stressful and it can be even more so when mental health is involved. It is important for both of you to be healthy in whatever kind of relationship or friendship you choose. It can be difficult when a person wants something different than they have been giving you previously. I can tell you are anxious about this but sometimes your mental health is not something you are in complete control of. Your mental health is very important to your well-being and know that your mental health does affect other people around you and those who care about you.

Hello. I am very sorry that this happened and you had to go through this hurtful experience. I had went through something similar and it was not easy either. Having a mental health issue is something serious and hard, and it is constant struggle for people who experience this. Its not easy, but if you strong. But you also have to remember that it can also affect the people around you, depending on how you handle it. Sometimes people around you can not accept or handle it, but you have to keep in mind that that is never your fault. Everyone has their own battles. It sucks that your boyfriend said that but on the bright side, he still wants to try to be supportive as a friend. This means he still wants to support you, and maybe it might be better for both of you that way. Who knows maybe he can cope with it better and you can find someone who can understand you situation better and accept it better.

Ultimately, there's nothing you can do. Sometimes, people just aren't equipped to handle mental health issues. t's not your fault through and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. If you feel your mental health is affecting your relationships, try talking to the person about it. Make sure boundaries are clear. Make sure that you and the other person are aware of what that person is able to handle. Don't dump your issues onto people so much that it becomes their problem. Venting is one thing, but making your issues someone else's is another. If your boyfriend of a long time is leaving you, maybe take it as a sign to seek professional help. Get the help you may need and try again with him in the future. He probably doesn't hate you, he just isn't able to handle the stress.

Mental illness can make a person very selfish. Please don't take this as a put down. I have destroyed many a relationship because of mental illness. It is not easy for someone to deal with. Keep in mind that he hates the game not the player. I don't know what types of things have happened between you and your boyfriend. You say he is long-term so he must really care for you and love you if he stayed in it this long. Focus on getting some help for yourself right now. You want to be the best you can be for yourself and secondary for others. He will see that you are being proactive about wanting to get better. Don't push him too much and keep in your life as a friend, he sounds like he is a good supporter. All successful relationships involve some give and take. You want to be able to bring something good to the table as well as receive goodness. Good luck!

it's totally understandable why it would have hurt you. as a boyfriend who's been with you for so long, you would expect him to be the person who understands you most, or at the very least not use your mental health as a reason to be friends instead of partner. of course, it would have been nice if he could actually bring this up during the relationship where both of you could work something out. but at this point, it's important that you think about what you truly want. perhaps you could focus on your mental health and try to be better than before. if he has left, he's probably also hurt himself.

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss of a relationship that was important to you. While it was likely painful to hear that he felt way, it is very special that he was honest with you. If you feel comfortable, I would recommend thanking him for his honestly, and only maintain a friendship if you think that would be beneficial in your life. If a friendship would be too painful, I might suggest creating space. If you believe your mental health could use some tending to, I would recommend reaching out to a professional support system such as counselors, doctors, and other types of healers.

It obviously hurts that someone you really liked finds your problems overwhelming. But remember that its not your fault for having such feelings and its not his fault for finding them overwhelming. We are all different people with different capacities. It would be unreasonable to expect everybody to handle your feelings. So just try to forgive him and just realise what he did is a very human thing and it was probably not his intention to hurt you. He was just doing what he can safely handle. It may feel like he is running away but it could be a good thing for you too. For you shouldnt rely on someone who cant handle who you are.

I can see how hard this is for you, I went through something similar. take a moment to seek why this hurts you and ask your self how is your mental health. It is easy to get worked up and to quickly think about breaking up and how this would cause you pain, which is a lot of emotions no one wants to go through. It is important to think about your emotions and thoughts one step at a time to understand why you are feeling the way you are. After you understand and identify why this situation makes you hurt.

I think you should respect his decision of keeping some space and remaining friends until he feels better and he thinks his mental health is getting better. after this he might want to get back with you, but right now probably isn't the greatest and if he does not feel the greatest, he might not give you the attention you deserve and that can ruin your relationship. it can lead to a falling out which you would not want so i think you should respect his decision and so you guys can get closer to each other slowly without hurting your relationship or any chances of it.