How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.

Closure is something that many people search for and never find. You may never find closure from your ex but coming to terms that the relationship is over is the first step to closure with yourself.

One thing that I know has helped me in the past is actually getting together with my ex to discuss what happened. Make sure that this is in a public place so that there is little chance of verbal or physical abuse, even if this was not an issue during the relationship. Discuss calmly what happened, why it happened, and that you are not entirely over it.

Sit down with them and tell them that you need closure. It's best to be straight-forward and honest because if you are honest about wanting closure, he/she is going to feel comfortable with giving you closure

If you can talk to your ex then sit down and tell them what you need. If you cannot, if it would hurt too much or if they aren't interested in talking then sit down and write a letter to your ex and then one to yourself about what you'd like to say and what you'd like to know. You may or may not have your ex involved but you can purge yourself of all your feelings and emotions, write it out, read it and then put it away for another time when you feel you need to see it or burn it. Just get it all out.

Dealing with an closure from an ex is difficult and takes time but it's possible, accept the change and realize things are now different between the two of you as a first step and remember it's okay to cry and be upset about this. Then once you can accept this, try to either pick up a new hobby or continue on in one you already enjoy to fill the time or space that was put aside for the significant other who is no longer in your life. Next you should establish some new goals, like meeting someone new or starting a new job for a positive change in your life or simply a clean slate to begin again with.

It's something between the two of you and what had happened. Talk together if you both want or decide to maybe schedule a time to talk. Remember you can always be friends with an ex but of course its your choice in life what you decide to do. If you ex needs time, then respect that as well because some people need time. They say time heals and for some people it does while others it don't. Just don't demand anything from your ex.

Depending on what the situations is or was.. Is it safe to see them and get the needed closure? If it isn't write a letter. For me closure was something sometimes hard to get. I had a great boyfriend in 2011/2012. He talked to my dad about marriage and proposal. He was the ideal guy! He got physically abusive with me. Not even a week later he broke up with me on social media! (Days before my birthday and less than a week til our 1 year anniversary). I took it hard. Once I moved on and was engaged I knew I couldnt give my then fiance my whole heart til I had closure. So I go to visit. Probably the worst thing to do but it made me feel better knowing his family missed me. He wasn't there to talk to. But his mom helped me get the closure I needed. Then a few months afterwards my then fiance cheated and broke up with me. It hurt and I needed closure all over again. But didn't seek it with that relationship. Sometimes closure can do more damage. Just make sure you are safe and okay.

From personal experience, I'd say just talk to them about it. Be straightforward, but reassure them that you will not force them back into a relationship. If they agree, please allow them their space and avoid comments that might indicate you still need the relationship. I'd met with my ex a couple of times after the breakup. It was a hard, but with each meeting, his behavior made it easier for me to push myself away from him. I believe it isn't so much your ex that helps you get closure; it is your belief and perspective that changes and allows you to accept that relationship is over.

Sometimes we think we need closure from someone else to be able to move on. In reality, even if we say all the things we need to say, we will never get the response from that person that we think we need. Closure needs to come from us in the realisation that that person is not what we thought they were. The realisation that they will never make us feel better can be just what we need.

Try to talk to that person how you feel. Also, it is important to respect their space. Do think through what you are going to say and think about how you would feel if someone said that to you.

For me, closure from my ex was something I felt i craved, but it never came. My way of dealing with this was simply time. I gave myself time to feel sad and upset about the situation. By not avoiding the feelings or by seeking validation from elsewhere, I was able to really dig in to how I felt and concluded that whatever closure they wished to provide me, I didn't need anymore. By taking time to allow myself to feel, I came out of the situation feeling strong enough to not need the closure any more. Allow yourself some time.

The best way to get closure from your ex is to talk to them. Discuss what happened and why. Discuss how you were feeling at the time. If you cannot talk to them. Then it is important to talk to someone. Air the dirty laundry. Get those feelings off your chest. Remember that you cannot always control everything.

Move on,accept the past and learn to love life without them. It may mot be easy at first but the leap of faith will be worth it!!

Have you ever thought of sharing these things with close people? You must feel Awkward around him/her

Honestly, I feel to get closure from an ex or any person you must extend to them forgiveness. From experience I have realized the power of forgiveness and talking to a person instead of at them goes a long way. If you still talk to your ex, speak to them as a friend to find out what they was feeling when y'all was together and you express your side and see if y'all can move forward. Many ex's have demons that they faced that they felt they couldn't have shared while with you.

Write down all the lessons learned from the relationship and what it taught you. It's ok to grieve and be sad as long as it doesn't impact your life too much. If you are really suffering talking to a trained therapist may help.

Remember the good things and forget about the bad things. It is very hard, especially humans are likely to remember and focus on the bad things more often. But I really think this is the trick - be thankful! Thanks for the blissful memories in that relationship! There is always a good reason for a relationship.

Remind yourself why you aren't together. Say it was good while it lasted, remember the good memories. But always remember you can make more. :)

Take time to spend with yourself and tell yourself that you don’t need someone to make you feel happy.

I can totally relate to using closing as a means of moving on. Your feelings are telling you to go forward in your life.

One way to possibly get closure from your ex would be to write about your feelings in a journal or in a letter. You wouldn't necessarily have to show him what you've written, but it gives you access to express your feelings without necessarily speaking to him. If you feel like you need to verbally tell him certain things to have closure, you could always do that as well, whether it's by calling, texting, or other ways. I hope this helps!

There's a poem that frequently comes to my mind as relationships ebb and flow in my life. Each time I reflect on it, I find a different meaning that helps me grow in the direction I need. http://motivationposters.com/image/cache/Block%206/0299-1500x1500.jpg

Inorder to do that you need to talk to your ex and finlize the situation in order for you to move on with your life

I am sure you dont neet it, you just need you! He is not going to make you feel better. Trust me, you can do this on your own

When you start loving someone that boy/girl becomes your lover. You give a tag on them and they become very important to you because of that tag. Now when you are no longer with the person you give them a tag of ex-lover. They still play an important role in your thoughts. The moment you remove the tag, and see them as just an individual and not think about the memories together you will feel less sad when you think of them. I have tried this and it has worked.

The only way to get closure is to talk to your ex. Ask the questions you want answers to. If your ex won't allow this than at least you know you tried.

Tell them that you feel like you need confirmation about it. If the person doesn't know this then things won't change. The best way to receive closure is to tell them how you feel and that you feel you need it.

Both of you should get together and have a small meeting confirming to each other that it is over. Be open to his thoughts and then accept its been done with

You can write a letter/journal about why it is good it has ended and why it is better if you go your separate ways. You can send the letter, rip it apart or burn it. It helped me.

Sorry to say but they may never happen. It depends on so many factors. How bad was the break up. Have you talked since. Is there still anger and resentment. So much.