How do I let go of pent up anger towards an ex?

Acceptance is freedom. Do yourself a favor and let go of that anger so you can move on with your life and better yourself. If you keep that anger in, then it will only stop you from reaching that full potential. My ex cheated on me and I was angry for a long time. I spent so much of my time and energy thinking about him and what I would say if he messaged me again. It just made me miss him more and become depressed. By letting that go I was allowed to go meet new people and improve my life by working out more and focusing more on my hobbies.

Find a way to move on. Once you’ve done that, you have found a sense of freedom from him/ her. And I know this is easier said than done. You need to distract yourself, and do things you love! Relax. Play with a pet, talk to an old friend, eat some chocolate! Find what makes you happy, and do that! And, at the end of the day, you need to understand that in life, you lose some people, and it can be hard. But in loss, you will find someone new, be that in a relationship, or even making an awesome new friend! All the best x

Deal with the anger first, don't bottle it up too much but also find a positive outlet for the anger (rather than punching a wall for example). You need to be able to express yourself and work to make yourslef feel better :) Deal with the anger through time and eventually you will begin to feel better. Time is also a great healer, so keep in mind that whilst some things may feel too difficult to deal with at that very moment, over time it will get easier and a positive outlet may become clear. Good luck from me as always!

As long as you hold this anger, she will still be controlling you. It a sad fact. Moving on is the only way and then as you build yourself back up she will fade into a distant memory where she belongs. You must let go of the love or the hate stays. We cannot hate unless we love. Write down honestly all the reasons you love her, and then all the reasons you hate her, and you will have the list you need to get started letting go of both. Its very necessary. Time passing helps too, but it helps more when you're living for you!😉

Letting go of pent up anger can be hard thing to overcome especially if you had strong feelings towards the other person. There are a variety of different things you could try to help you overcome this feeling. one of the many ways would be to talked to your ex let go all of your emotions tell them how your feeling why your feeling this way. Or if your not a very good at confronting a person face to face you could always send them how you feel in a text message or letter you could choose to send it or to burn it whatever works best for you. Talking to friends or family also help and forgiveness can set you free.

Well in my case , even tho he used to be my best friend we had no day we didn't talk for a couple of years, then we decided to date..but one day he just ghosted me no explanation ..not a good explanation anyway.. I started to think about the time we were together ..the positive memories .the way he made me feel while together ...he was very gentle and considerate...a gentleman .so even tho he hurt me and made me feel worthless...there are some good memories ..plus he helped me start drving school, I quit smoking for him and I also lost a lot of weight because of the love I had for him...even tho it is painful..I wish him the best ...

That pent up anger is not entirely directed at your ex. Your anger is directed at a version of your ex you hold in your mind. You are angry at the deeper emotions you feel toward her - betrayed? Confused? Unappreciated? Unworthy? Self-doubt? What is it about her that connects with the hurting place inside you? You have pent up anger because there are deeper issues inside you that you have not faced and come to peace with. Maybe it is a archetypal thing. Your ex represents all ex's or future ex's. Of letting someone into your life and getting hurt. Of being surprised that you didn't see it coming and worrying you may not see the warning signs in the future. etc.

The best thing you already did, is to excommunicate, that person, and he/she is an " ex" now, so they dont exist physically in front of you anymore. The next work that remains to be done is to distance them emotionally too. Lets start that with , releasing that person, by forgiving for all they did to you. Its not easy but it is necessary. Its important for you to be free from any such attachments with that person in thought and deed. Whatever betrayal, mistrust they meant to you, is over now . They are out of your bounds , once you release them and be free yourselves. Look at every thought that comes to you about them, with no emotions - as they meant nothing to you. This is one sure way to engage your emotions in a better way, which can lead to changed behavior and give you more control on your reactions like Anger or hatred. Go for it !!.

Write it all down what you want to say to your ex and never really send it.Doing this will make you feel much better and maybe not entirely but it will lessen your anger for that moment. Thats one way to vent the anger out.Also, try to keep a diary and focus on the thought flow after you write your feelings down . This will work slowly but it relaxes alot and one fine day you will woke up and never even realise the problem existed. It may sound old school but meditation and writing a diary will always workout in the long term process. Do not beat yourself up. Be very kind and learn to love yourself.

It's really easy to let feelings of hurt and anger build up toward an ex. But it takes a lot of energy to keep that hostility and anger directed at them, which takes away from your own life. For me, it took accepting both our roles in whatever it was I was angry about (and acceptance does not mean making it ok, but realizing that yes this is what I did, this is what they did, and yes it sucks kind of thing), and being compassionate toward myself. As I was gentle with myself, and realized how hard it was on both of us, and that I was wasting energy spitting venom at my ex, I was able to let it go. It's not an easy process! Recognize the good, recognize what made you angry, and acknowledge that it's ok to feel angry and hurt. But your ex doesn't deserve all that energy anymore. Focus it on you and turning it into helpful energy.

Holding onto negative feelings poison our inner self and threatens our well being. Anger is energy and it can be transformed into something positive. By taking good care of your own self, loving yourself and dedicating yourself to your passions and interests, you will be able to let go of those feeling cos you'll be to busy doing something great and extremely rewarding. This way you'll bring joy into your life and into the one of those around you. Smile and life will smile back at you. Don't let your past define your present and your future. Let the light shine upon yourself.

I was the textbook victim when it came to my ex. There was a lot of emotional pain that I had to see before I could begin my forgiveness path. While learning more about myself through learning about self awareness, I was able to see how much I had contributed to my own choices. So the short answer would be 1. recognize and focus on the anger - give that part a name, such as betrayal or hurt 2. Once you know what you are dealing with, breathe. It takes a little bit to process. 3. You don't have to forget but finding peace is what is important - not giving your ex anything. This forgiveness is for you to feel better, not them. 4. this is a bonus. Change is hard for anyone, and anger is part of this change. It will get better.

It's hard to let go of anger towards an ex who has hurt you. The truth is that over time, the anger goes away. Reminding yourself of what you are looking for in a partner and how they weren't the best match for you helps you in letting go of that anger. Choose peace and happiness for yourself over being angry. In my opinion, we can't stay angry forever and staying angry won't contribute to our overall happiness. It's better to let go of things we can't control (other people's actions toward us) and focus on the things we DO have control over. Choose happiness, choose yourself, choose peace.

It can be very cathartic to let go of pent up anger toward an ex. When a relationship ends and one is left with anger is can be quite cathartic to write a good bye letter to your ex. In this letter write all of your frustrations, disappointments and reasons why you feel anger. Sign the letter, read it out loud and take time to feel the emotions reading the letter brings up. Sit with the emotions as they are all okay to notice/feel. Register what the emotions are but don't be concerned about being overly attached. If you have a place where the letter can be burnt safely; have a good bye ceremony and burn the letter and say good-bye! (Or good-riddance if it was really bad.) If you are in a place where you can't burn it safely take the letter and tear it to small pieces! Bye bye! Following the burning or tearing of the letter to your ex let go of the anger you feel say good bye to it. Congratulate yourself for saying good bye! Follow up by forgiving your ex (and yourself.)

If you don't want to talk to him directly, maybe you can open up a document and type or handwrite all your feelings and express as if you're talking to him. I've found it to be super helpful pretending that he's standing in front of me and I'm venting all the things I hadn't got a chance to say in the past. If you find it faster to handwrite, then maybe you should keep a notebook and write it down. It could also be useful to keep tabs on yourself and how you feel about the situations down the line.

Do something to express those emotions, whether it is writing a letter (but don't send it), or art, dance, or any way that will allow you to feel those emotions and express them. Or talk to a listener here on 7 cups. Its really about figuring out where your anger is coming from and coming to an understanding of it, that sense of clarity will give you space to process that emotion and eventually accept it. Feel free to reach out to me if you like, otherwise reach out to another listener, or write on your own, or choose to do another activity that you think will help express the emotions behind that anger. All the best.

For me, the best way of letting out anger is writing it all down. As a kid, I used to own multiple journals and diaries to write down whatever I felt or whatever I did during the entire day. I think journal writing has been a significant part of my anger management as a youngster. Furthermore, you could channelise the anger towards something productive and what you actually enjoy doing. Any physical activity, studying, whatever works for you. However, holding onto anger for a long time is very harmful to yours as well the life of others around you. In order to let go off it, you must learn how to cope with it. It can be talking to the person you're mad at or looking at therapy to help you gain closure.

Sometimes it can be hard to accept the hurt that someone has caused - especially when we are romantically involved with the person. When I was in a relationship with someone who did not fulfill my needs for closeness and intimacy, I found it hard to forgive and accept that they were not the one for me, even after I had ended it. I harboured hurt and pain from the past and was a bit annoyed at myself for not being able to express what I felt I needed from them. What I found helpful, was to accept my part in the situation and vowe to make my needs and wants clear in my relationships. Accepting that maybe the person did not know how to love you the way you wanted and that maybe they were not meant for you is what really helped me. I also began to focus on the good things about the relationship. Not everything was difficult and there were parts of the relationship that I loved such as their ability to care at times and how they were always trying to help solve a problem I had. Focusing on the positive can also help to change the negative thoughts you have about the person. You can also write down your feelings, but not share them with your ex. Then put it away and let the feelings of anger go with the letter.

You have to work out why you have this anger and why you can't let it go. I spent a lot of time being angry at my exs and then I would meet someone else or find something else to occupy my mind and then I would think "Why did I spend so much time being angry, it wasn't bothering anyone accept me." It is understandable that you will feel angry or hurt after a break up, but there is a difference. A lot of emotions come into play when you break up with someone, but you need to work out if it is really anger or something else that you are feeling. One of the biggest questions I try and ask myself after I break up with someone is "If that person is able to hurt me so much and so easily, is that person really the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life" I then try and think of 5 things that I am grateful for and 5 things that I can do now that person is gone. This tends to make me feel bit better and a lot less angry.

Move on. That's the simple answer. The longer and harder solution is fight through the pain, the anguish and acknowledge that you are hurting. Start with accepting the pain. Try to understand their point of view, step into their shoes. Re-inspect your relationship from an outsider's perspective. Figure out why you are angry. Is it because she broke up with you, cheated on you?...etc Was it maybe your fault. Try to figure out if you can salvage anything from the relationship. Is there a spark still there? If not, seek closure and stop hurting your brain with pent-up anger. Pursue other hobbies and activities. You will find someone who loves you for you, Don't worry. Good Luck.

From my personal experience I believe the way to let go of anger towards an ex is to realize that there's no point in staying mad at them Because nothing I do is going to change the fact that I was broken up with And all that anger was only turning me into a bitter person, with other people as well. Even if I stayed mad at them, or tried to fix things to get them back, no matter what I did, it wouldn't change the fact that I was hurt, because of that person . Staying angry will change nothing. Unconsciously, at some level, the anger towards this person manifested in my behavior with others as well. And that was the reason I wanted to change. I also believe, anger as an emotion is felt when you care about something Ans when I became indifferent towards that person, I lost my anger. And how I became indifferent towards them? It took one small act on their part for me to lose all interest. For me, it was when I realised I was cheated on. And I said to myself, why do I care so much about someone that doesn't give the slightest of thought about my emotions and my getting hurt. It's time I stopped caring Because no matter what I do, it's not going to change anything.

It all depends on what the current situation is. I just broke up with my ex and the only way that helped me move on was to completely cut them out of my life. That means blocking his number and all of his social media accounts. The reason I continued to be so angry with was that I still was communicating and seeing him on my phone. You can't move on if you don't allow yourself to move on. You have to love yourself first and understand whatever that happened was not your fault. Fully understand that you did the best you could for that person and that sometimes things just don't work out. Don't let someone who hurt you continue to negatively affect your life. It's your life!

What caused the upset in the first place? Did your ex violate your boundaries or simply not show up when you needed them? Have you expressed the anger to them? Either way, is there some self-love you need to move past the upset? Are there friends you can make who can help you take the attention off your ex? What's the cause of the anger? Is your ex coming by and bothering you? Do you need to set firmer boundaries? Are you hesitant to set boundaries with him? Address that and you may be set free. Journalling helps too!

Remind yourself that they are no longer your responsibility and that the pent up anger will not benefit you in the long run! You are better than what the relationship was and the longer you stay angry, the harder it will be for you to continue to focus on yourself. Practice mindfulness to remind yourself to focus on the present and yourself as you are what is most important right now. Practicing self-care and finding the best way to relax is another step in the right direction. You are worth more than you'll ever know, so make your life count!

My favorite way to let go of pent up anger is doing kickboxing classes I can get on apps on my phone (pro-tip, FitOn is free). A little imagination goes a long way. I have found that getting my body moving and sweating AND getting out of my thinking brain can really help change my mood. I don't have to forgive the ex, but I don't have SUFFER forever. After your workout, definitely indulge in a little yoga before a meditation. Show yourself some compassion. Another option, if you're not so much into getting sweaty, is writing in a journal. Write about what your ex did to you. Write about how you felt then and feel now. Explore how it affects you now and in the future. Breathe deep.

I find that when I am very angry in a moment, it is best for me to step away and isolate myself from the situation. Typically I will engage in an activity that is calming to me such as singing. After I have sufficiently calmed down I like to talk to close friends or family members about what I am feeling so that I can better identify why I am feeling so angry. Once I have identified the reason for my anger, I will attempt to remove that stressor/cause from my current life, which may mean blocking an ex or putting them on mute for the time being. Whatever helps alleviate those feelings until I am truly able to move on from the situation and be myself again.

Try breathing exercises. And try to let go of the anger towards your ex. And possibly try to understand why you are triggered.once you identify the triggers . Then try to heal and understand your triggers. So you won’t allow yourself to get angry. Sometimes we can’t control what people do , but we can control how we react and allow ourselves to feel. Trying to stay calm within yourself may help reduce the anger. Also trying to forgive your ex so you can heal your feelings of anger. Try to not those negative feeling take control of the good in you. Express love and peace for you, so you reduce feelings of anger

For me, I think when you had bottled up all the anger and all of the negative feelings about someone, you should stand up for yourself and never stays in that kind of relationship. First is you must learn to let go and then move on at your own pace. Do not follow other people footsteps, because every person is built differently. Then you should focus more on yourself, make yourself busy doing things that will make you happy or healthy. You can do simple exercise or singing or even just reading and do nothing while listening to music. Then, comes the deeper part where you should learn to love yourself for who you are. I believe that nobody can love you before you learn to love yourself. There is no need to get angry and hit your ex, you should just FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND GLOW UP. That is the real best way to show to people that you are awesome, by yourself. You do not need someone to make you feel worthy, you just need to self-love and be the best version of yourself.

Building up any sort of feeling, whether it be negative or positive, can cause stress or frustration. Whenever I feel anger or any other strong emotion, I have to get it out somehow. Try and let go of that anger in a healthy way. I like doing something that really lets me blow off steam and express how I'm feeling. Maybe it's writing an angry poem, listening to loud music, playing a video game, or going out on a long run. Regardless, people who negatively impact your life don't deserve such strong emotions from you! Let those feelings go to something more productive!

It's valid to have pent up anger towards your ex. Anger is a sign that you know you were mistreated and something was not OK. But holding onto anger from the past hurts us more than helps us, and it is so brave of you for asking how to let go of it! There are so many ways to process releasing your anger, and it may be a process for you of trying what works out and letting go of what doesn't. You could consider writing a letter to your ex, and expressing all the anger and feelings, but never send it. Some people say they burn it, some rip it, some throw it away, but if you consider writing out your feelings, you can do what feels best for you. Another action you can take is receiving support. You're here seeking advice, and that's a great step. Receiving support in the form of having friends, family, or listeners on 7 cups to let you speak your truth and express your feelings is helpful. Lastly, consider looking into forgiveness. Forgiveness is a step that may seem to come after feeling angry with someone, but it can be thought of and considered during the healing process. You are heard and we are here to support you on 7 cups!