How do I let go of pent up anger towards an ex?

Focus on forgiveness and learning. Each relationship teaches us one or two things we didn't know about ourselves or life in general. When we hold on to past hurt we ain't learning through the mistakes. But when we let go and focus on healing we create healthy boundaries and teach ourselves to accept that things may not always go as we want. We also learn what we need to look out for so that we don't repeat cycles. Talk to friends or family members when you need to vent it's important to let the anger out or even cry but take time to heal and learn from the experience.

I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family.

Sometimes it's best to let it out. Maybe try writing out your feelings and frustrations on paper and then tear up your note. When we keep our emotions in sometimes they bubble up and we cant seem to let go. This way, you can get your feelings out and let them go in your own way. You cant truly let go of your anger until you've understood it yourself. Talking to a friend or a listener on 7Cups can also help you process your emotions. If you feel you need more help, seek help from a licensed therapist who can guide you through the best path forward.

There is nothing quite like being betrayed by the person who is supposed to love you most. Somewhere inherent in the concept of love is the belief that you will protect one another’s best interests. Allowing yourself to love someone requires a level of trust that you likely didn’t give easily. So when the trust you give gets trampled on, anger is a perfectly normal, self-preserving response. But the wound that gets inflicted from betrayal can sometimes linger long after a relationship ends, and when you hold on to anger and resentment, it can become toxic and keep you from moving forward. When your anger over another person’s actions is keeping you stuck, it means he or she still exerts control over your life. So how do you let go of the anger? The following four steps can help you work through the process. 1. Acknowledge it. Anger is an emotion that people are often uncomfortable with. You may hold beliefs about anger, such as: Nice people don’t get angry; anger is unattractive; I’m above being angry. Some will go to extreme measures to numb the anger, often with self-destructive and unhealthy behavior, but avoiding it doesn’t help it go away. The first step to letting it go is being OK with it. When someone treats you poorly, violates your boundaries, or does something hurtful, you have a right to be angry about it. Feeling the anger in these situations tells you that you have a healthy level of self-respect. Realize that the anger is there to help you. The anger is telling you that you are in a situation that may not be in your best interest. It is often the emotion that gives you the courage to separate from an unhealthy relationship. 2. Express it. This is a tricky one. You may have had the experience of stuffing your anger down until it erupts in one big explosion, only to later regret it and promise to keep it stuffed down even deeper next time. Or you may have been criticized in the past for showing your anger. To be clear, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to express anger, and doing it in an unhealthy way can be damaging to you and your relationships with others. Expressing anger in a healthy way is something that many people struggle with, but letting it out is an important part of freeing yourself from it. While there may be times when expressing your anger directly to someone may be important, when dealing with an ex, the relationship is already over, and the healing you need is about you, not him or her. Sharing it with your ex isn’t necessary, because the reality is you don’t need their apology or even their acknowledgment to heal. A safe way to get it out is to simply write it down. Write a letter to your ex telling them everything you really want to say. Don’t hold anything back, because you aren’t going to send it. Underneath a lot of anger is often a good deal of hurt, so if tears come while you are doing this, let them flow. After you’ve written down your feelings, put the letter aside and make an effort to go do something fun and active. Later, if sharing it still feels important, then share the letter with someone you trust, such as a close friend or a therapist. When you’re ready, put it away or, better yet, get rid of it. 3. Depersonalize it. What any one person says or does is always much more about them than it is about you. If your partner cheated on you, it wasn’t because you weren’t good enough; it was because he/she chose to be unfaithful. Learning to release your anger can often happen more easily when you take your focus off of the specific events that occurred and instead try to see the perspective of the people involved. Most people don’t act with the intention of directly hurting another person; generally, they make choices intending to make themselves feel better. For better or worse, it is in our nature as human beings to operate from our own self-beneficial perspective, and the impact of our actions on others is often a secondary consideration. It doesn’t make it right, but sometimes seeing the other person’s perspective can help you better understand the events that unfolded and make them less personal. It can also be easier to forgive someone when you see them as a whole person. If you find yourself stewing in anger over something that another person did or didn’t do, try to pull back and remember the good qualities you saw in that person when you first met, and recognize that we all have flaws, and we all make mistakes.

I think to let go of anger, it has to come from a place of letting it go for yourself rather than for the other person. For me personally, it comes from validating and accepting my hurt and anger and allowing myself to feel it. I'd actually tell myself, "I was hurt by ____, and it's okay to feel that hurt and anger." Allowing myself to feel it in the moment and recognize it for what it was made it easier to process and not feel like my emotions were out of my control. After doing that for a while, the feelings came less and less.

I begin but thinking about what I found great in my ex and then I begin to realize what I didnt like about my ex and realize sometimes I don't really need them nor do I need to feel bad. bad things can happen but it is what we do with them that makes us better. plus I some times feel grateful towards my ex because they have made me who I am and who I want to strive to be. I love who I am and can not see my self being any one else but who I am

For me, I know there's a reason the relationship didn't work out. This is especially true if you were the one to dump your ex. For example, my ex cheated on me and refused to stand up for me when confronted by his family. Those things were awful and caused me a lot of distress. I typically focus on all the things I'm able to do in life now that my ex is out of my life. I don't talk to him. I blocked him on all forms of social media and still avoid posting things on the internet I wouldn't want him to see in case he's still stalking my profile. In short, distance from my ex and unwaivering self-love were key.

Hey! I noticed your question, I don’t completely know what happened with you and your ex but here are some tips. It’s important to recognize what you are feeling and then accept what you’re feeling. Emotions are great! They help us cope through hard situations. It sounds like you’ve done the first step to this, which is identifying your feeling. I would recommend looking back on all the good and bad things that happened to move onto your next step, acceptance. After you accept your feelings you have to accept what happened. Making a chart of things that lead up to your breakup could help with this. While you do that you need to think about if the relationship was healthy or unhealthy. Once you identify the things above the steps continue. You have to set new goals for yourself that are attainable and measurable. I completely understand if you don’t want to make charts and everything and I’m sure there’s other ways! From my personal experience charts help me to identify things, but it might not be the same for you! Just remember acceptance, realization, and goals are super important.

Sometimes when a relationship ends, it can be hard to fully release the feelings we have towards a person. However, coping with pent up anger towards an ex is very much like coping with anger in general in that we can quell the anger with some form of forgiveness, even if we only ever express that forgiveness within ourselves. Coming to a place of forgiveness often entails realizing that when a person hurts you, your pain is hardly ever the root desire or motivation of the action, even if the person says it is. For instance, if my ex tells me something to put me down, them telling me that, in all likelihood, is done more because it helps them feel bigger, more confident, by putting me down. Similarly, if someone steals from me, their primary objective, in all likelihood, is not to hurt me, but rather to sustain some personal gain. Most of the time, a person acts solely out of their own self-interest rather than an interest in hurting another person. This can help you feel less angry, because you will note that most, if not all, of the "bad" things they did to you were really just attempts to ease their own suffering. Another way to come to forgiveness is to accept that a person was just doing the best they could with the resources they had at the time. Resources here could mean time, effort, energy, emotional intelligence, et cetera. Building empathy for the other person's circumstances (both then and now) can also help you find forgiveness in your heart for them, vindicating you of your anger towards them.

First thing for forgiving is to move on from past and believe that what ever happened between you and your ex or anyone in general, good or bad, happened a long time ago and right now in this moment you have nothing to do with this person. The important things about past are the things you learn to do and the ones you learn not to do so, if for example this person betrayed you, now you can understand how to manage your emotions and you are stronger. Only the ones who have tasted a bad fruit know how the good ones taste. But remember, maybe 20 years after now, you may meet him when you're in the same supermarket and by then it is better to remember he was a kind person, rather than a betrayer. That way you won't get hurt either.

Some modern ways of releasing anger are plases such as "break room" which provide you with gear and also occasionally with materials to smash and realse your anger towards. It could also be helpful to engage with a favorited sport, or if you are more interlinked with nature you may find hiking and/or camping away from your social life angry. Go and scream somewhere release the pressure from your lungs. Perhaps go to a gym. Try new things, dont be afraid to explore. Dont show your weakness to the ex significant other, it will only make them feel empowered, show that your are stronger than them, Because you are!!

This is a hard question because I myself have not gotten over pent-up anger towards an ex. My advice, which I am trying to take for myself is to do hobbies that make me happy and really just try to stop thinking about them. If you think it may be beneficial to talk to them to get closure, go for it. But don't get sucked back in if they did you dirty. Also, i would recommed going out with friends, mediation, exerise, etc. Do things that make you happy and dont hesitate to reach out to others for help. Sending light! :)

A failed relationship could be extremely painful and destabilizing, especially when the hurting partner has invested a lot of time and emotions to see it succeed. It is important to know that being angry is an appropriate responses and you are not being bitter, weak or needy, neither does your current feeling make you a bad person. Prioritizing your happiness is however paramount here, and this is one of those few times in life you are allowed to be selfish, selfishly guide your self towards the things that make you happy, focus on the good times and the lesson learnt from this relationship to make you a better person.

Love yourself first. In order to truly love yourself and put your peace and mind in your best interest you have to forgive, Not for him/her but for yourself. You have to realize that the anger you old towards another person will only continue to do harm to yourself, In order to heal and move on with your life you have to able to let go and forgive and understand that the bad things that people do towards you is not your fault. What other’s do in harmful ways says more about them and their character, Your mental health and peace is worth more than holding anger towards a person who does not deserve to take away from your healing.

Avoid them at all costs. Try to do things that make you forget about them. Think about all the other people out there for you. Think about how they’re no good for you and thinking about them will affect you more. Always remember never do things to them out of vengeance or anger because with time you will regret it and feel bad for yourself. You might feel mad at the moment, but don’t let it get to you and be the bigger person. Show them you’re okay without them and you’re at peace with yourself. Even if you aren’t, sometimes it’s better and don’t overthink it a lot. :)

i completely understand feeling angry with an ex. these feelings are completely normal and valid. however, it is important to release your feelings of anger. there are many ways to relieve yourself of anger. one way is to write a note to the person expressing your feelings to them and then throwing it away or even mailing it just to yourself and throwing it away when it returns. another thing to do is write down a list of specific things they did to make you angry and then rip the paper and throw it away. I am extremely sorry to hear about your breakup! your feelings are valid and i want you to know i’m always here to chat!

I think it's important to feel all of the feelings that come along with a breakup. If you try to avoid them, then they just build internally and eventually explode. I know in the past I've tried doing that, and I turned into a really pessimistic and negative person for a while, a person that I didn't recognize or like. The first step I would usually take was to express my feelings somehow. My preferred method was journaling; sometimes I wouldn't even write words. If I was feeling overwhelming negative feelings, I would just scribble really hard and that helped relieve the pain. Then, I would talk about it with a trusted confidant, and evaluate how the relationship wasn't good for me. I also liked to think about what I learned, whether it was something about myself or what I want out of life and a partner.

You just find a way to forgive. Wether reconcile later on is up to you. I believe in second chances but I don't know what he/she did tho. You just need to let your anger go because its hurting you more than its hurting your ex and thats not healthy for you. I have had to do that with ex with mine. And then it gets better over time after that. I would try hot bath. Walking a dog or playing with a cat. Or going for a walk even if its raining it will help it out hopefully.

The best way to let go of pent up anger towards an ex partner is to journal. The best way to let go of pent up anger towards an ex partner is to talk to a therapist. The best way to let go of pent up anger towards an ex partner is to go do some exercise outdoors. The best way to let go of pent up anger towards an ex partner is to scream out loud. The best way to let go of pent up anger towards an ex partner is to talk to a friend or someone you trust.

It looks like you're having a hard time letting go of someone. That someone was probably important to you at a time in your life. It's normal to feel that way after a breakup. It's not always easy to let go. They probably did hurtful things that made you very angry. You absolutely did not deserve that treatment. It's not fair when someone we trust doesn't live up to our expectations. Are there any triggering factors that spark your anger toward them? Can you think of any ways to distract yourself in those moments? Did the relationship teach you anything about yourself? If you learned about something you need from a partner, you can prioritize your needs up front next time and tell potential partners what you need upfront. Maybe you can identify and isolate the bad things they did and try to assign forgiveness. Holding gratitude and focusing on forgiveness has helped me get past anger like you're having. It may never feel resolved or fair, but you deserve to move on. Thank you for reaching out for help. Good luck!

What helped me so much when I felt so much anger at my ex was to write it all down in a letter to him. Saying everything I had been too afraid to ever say to him gave me closure. I recognized that the anger was a very important step in my healing and gave myself permission to feel it. You can then burn the letter to help you recognize the closure and cleansing of this step in your healing journey. It is important to remember that there is not anything wrong with anger and it is a very healthy response that we encounter in our healing process.

I can hear you carry this frustration towards your ex and you must remember all the times in the relationship where they did not treat you right or the things they kept secret from you. Relationships can end simply because two people are not compatible. They maybe too different personality wise, or have different ambitions , hopes , values etc. Sometimes it’s neither individuals fault - just a disconnection. We can remember that you ex is a just a person too, and even though they may have made mistakes or hurt you that may not make them a bad person. You may try to think about it through their point of view and know that they could be going through things you don't know or understand. Instead of thinking about why you am mad at them, try to focus on what you learned from the breakup and relationship, how you grew from it, and what they have taught you about my goals for future relationships. It maybe beneficial to confide in a friend who has been through the same thing as well. Research has shown DBT has been said to be helpful for any emotional regulation and for distress tolerance. 7 cups is a safe space to chat about what your going through with one of our amazing listeners who will use their active listening skills to try and understand what your going through whilst giving you the independence to make your own decisions at the same time.

If you find yourself wanting to let go of anger towards an ex-partner then it is probably because staying angry is not very helpful for you. Everyone has different ways of thinking and sometimes one might decide it is best to move forward on a separate path. Staying angry at someone else will hinder your efforts to move in a positive direction that will benefit you and those around you. While it is difficult at times to stay positive, your motivation to move forward in your life and take the viewpoint of optimism may just prove to assist in building healthy character.

Try a physical activity, maybe join the gym or try boxing. this will help you get channel the anger towards something that will not hurt anyone and it will help you get fit and in a better mental space. You can also try journaling about your feelings and sharing out all your emotions calmly. Another alternative would be getting clarity and clearing the air between you and your ex. This helps getting rid of any miscommunication that may be there, maybe your anger is misguided and talking things out will help you know exactly hoe to handle the situation. Personally I advise for the first option, get into a good activity and make a better version of yourself.

Most importantly by forgiving my ex and myself for those things that went wrong in the relationship. Further by taking into account that we are all human and none of us can ever be perfect. Lastly be sending a message of good will and best wishes for the future. This can mean things like being open to helping in the future and being there for your ex in troubling times. On the other care must be taken not to indicate that you are trying to renew the relation because your full intent was to bring it to an end.

Letting go of anger is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. One good thing to do is acknowledge the anger,. Remember it's ok to be angry. Express your anger on a positive manner its OK to say "I'm angry and this is why." Depersonalize it. What any one person says or does is always much more about them than it is about you. Learning to release your anger can often happen more easily when you take your focus off of the specific events that occurred. Heal it. Recovering from an emotional injury is not unlike recovering from a physical one. You need to rest and nurture yourself during the healing process.

Anger is the flip side of Love, a totally natural and very primal emotion that when addressed properly, can be healthy and cathartic to exercise out. The snag comes when we hold onto that anger for too long, or if we're angry at someone or something, no longer a part of our life. If anger has nowhere to go, and no healthy outlet to be released into, it can turn inwards and cause all kinds of trouble in our lives. As easy as it is to be told just to "let it go." the process itself can be very complicated and confusing. The most important aspect of anger is the resolution of it. Being able to forgive those who have angered us is just as much about giving ourselves peace as it is offering an olive branch. Like all emotions, developing coping tools for your emotional tool box is always a crucial aspect to effectively dealing with strong feelings. It should be noted that forgiveness certainly doesn't require forgetting, and if a person has hurt you, is toxic to you, or isn't an appropriate fit for your life, forgiving them doesn't mean you have to let them back in. Your wellbeing and mental health is always priority number 1! Some of the most effective ways to manage anger towards an individual no longer in the picture is to physically let them go, to do this I suggest a simple exercise with a very large impact. Write them a note with all of the reasons why you're angry, everything they did to hurt you, all of the feelings you feel and get it all out on paper. The idea isn't for them to ever read it, but for you to get all of your anger out and onto something physical, and when you feel ready, find a creative way to let go of both the letter, and your anger. You may want to tie it to some balloons and watch it float up and out of your life forever, have a bonfire and send that anger off viking style, or maybe you decide to make confetti and throw yourself a "letting go" party. Whichever you choose to do, keep in mind that as people with such wonderfully complicated lives, anger is a natural part of our interactions with other people. Striving for that anger to be healthy should be our goal, and taking time to get it all out and let it go in appropriate ways, can be just the thing needed to help get you back to your happy place. At the end of every dark night, there is the brightness of day. Be kind to yourself.

Anger is a very powerful emotion. It can control you so much to where you aren’t thinking like your regular self. Anger to an ex is an even bigger feeling. They have more than likely done something to make you this angry, maybe how they became you ex. I think the best way to get rid of all of your anger is to find plenty of distractions. Distractions can help you find things you enjoy as well as helping you forget about the anger you have towards your ex. Examples of distractions may be doing your favorite things, watching movies, or anything like that.

Letting go of pent-up anger takes a lot of time and effort. A person must go through a painful process to fully heal. Anger itself is hurting, and keeping it inside will make this feeling a lot worse. So, the first thing is to let go. Let go in the safest way. Acknowledge the hatred, and be aware of the possibilities while having this feeling. Control. Control the situation to avoid any further damage to oneself or to the people around. Second, find the safest / best way to release one's anger. Avoid creating a chain of actions while being mad because it will lead to disaster and regrets. Finally, accept. Accept that certain situations need closure within you. Whether the situation is confronted or not, the relationship ends for a certain reason, and anger is one of the byproducts. Pent-up anger is a double-cross- a ticking time bomb ready to destroy when triggered. Healing this emotion takes great time, power, effort, and a whole lot of intellectual and even moral strength. So good luck. You can do it. Travel, meet new people, and learn a new skill if you have the chance. This will take you somewhere. Your anger and your ex won't.