How can I convince myself that my friends don't hate me? I have this irrational fear that they actually hate me.

Well, perhaps making a list of positive things that they've done that showed their love that you can take our whenever this fear overtakes you would be helpful. It's also a good idea to just sit and calmly tell yourself, it feels like they hate me, but I know that that's not true. Why would they hate me? They don't act like that. It's still hard to feel like they hate me, even though I know it's not true, and it could be painful, but it's not the truth, it's just something I feel. It could also be helpful to get them to say something that will reassure you, like texting I love you so they answer that they love you back, or if you want to, telling them about your irrational fear so they can reassure you that it isn't true.

When you feel like you in this situation, you have to first acknowledge if your saying this out of overthinking or either because you have seen some inappropriate actions from your friends. Best way to know this is by observing how you feel around certain friends and also observe their actions in terms of how they treat you to gain understanding of your thoughts. Sometimes even talking to your friends to gain that validation of remaining good friends for a long time can help as well. This can also be a trust thing where you have to learn to allow yourself to form new friendships.

Trying to convince your mind anything is an endless war you cannot win. The harder you force yourself into thinking or not thinking something and the more you engage in what your mind is telling you, the harder it gets. You end up in the middle of a battlefield, where you you are fighting against your inner world. How about taking a step out of the battlefield? You could try to observe your mind's work with a discompassionate curiosity, insted of trying to change what it has to say. Having such fear means that you value friendship and relationships, which is a great thing to have in life. Have you tried mindfulness?

It can be hard to stop worrying about whether people like you or not, even if you believe your fear is irrational. It is good to identify why you are having these thoughts. Ask yourself, what is the evidence for and against this belief? Remember, there is a reason why your friends choose to speak to you and spend time with you. Nobody is forcing them; it is their choice. If they didn't like you, why would they be your friends? Prehaps take some time to ask them what drew them to you in the first place and what they think of you now. You may surprised by their answers!

I've experienced the same thing. I'd start by focusing on yourself. Make a list about all of the good things about yourself and why people would want to be your friend. This may be difficult, but it is worth the effort. Knowing the fear is irrational is a great place to start. Adding those concrete reasons why it is irrational will help. Next, you could tell your friends how you're feeling so they can support you in the way you need to help quench this fear. Another option would be to talk to a trusted person like a therapist or teacher. They could explore this issue deeply with you.

Sometimes we allow our insecurity to cloud the reality and our judgement, and sometimes your fear can be indicator of the truth - that unfortunately not everyone is a real friend. You need to reflect on past situations, compare when and who sparks this fear, and is it truly fear that they hate you. It might be something else. Try to find out what triggers the fear of hate, something you do or something they do. Know yourself first, then you can learn to read situations better and that will be your compass in life. I am available to chat if interested. Stay safe and be kind to yourself and others.

I have felt similar fears that my peers don't think i'm smart, that I am going to loose my job. After continuing this cycle in my head, it exhausted me and made me physically sick and nauseous. I came to a point where I realized that my feelings of low self worth came from inside of me, not from anyone else. If others gave me a strange look, I would start coming up with all sorts of reasons why I had failed as a person, when almost every time when I checked with the peer they had something going on in their own life not to do with me at all. After awhile I had to start doing personal growth exercises on 7 cups and research I found and started going to therapy. I did more journal reflections on my feelings of why I was the one having these feelings and what things I can do to remind myself of who I really am. I realized that no one else will dictate how I feel. How did I do that? By writing out my feelings, coming back and reflecting. Many times my initial feelings were so strong that I could not see beyond that one moment. But, when I went to look back I realized many things were incorrect. Alot of times I would project my feelings of low confidence and hate for myself onto other people. Therefore, I would see the feelings I was having in the other person when they were not there at all. Making this distinction is a start to let you know "hey, it's me feeling this way", then you have control and can start dealing with those feelings each day.

I can try to think of all the good times, and all the times that we were smiling and having fun, at least this is what I did. It can seem really difficult at times, but it’ll get better. Personally; I talk to my friends and try to convince myself that they don’t hate me, while I’m talking to them. You can try to work it out with them and hopefully, things will be okay. If you are still convinced that they hate you, maybe seek help from an outside source because they have a different perspective than what you do.

Many people feel insecure about the way others perceive them. It seems like you doubt your friends’ true feelings towards you. Rather than trying to convince yourself that they don’t hate you however, I think you can try just trusting yourself. It sounds cliché, but life does get slightly more straight-forward if you just be who you are, do what you want to do. You’ll see naturally the reactions of other people. Don’t worry if other people hate you, because in your life, you’re the one that matters the most. Of course, it’s natural to want to be liked by others and worry that they don’t. I personally have felt that way before, but I started to develop a mindset of: “If they hate me, then they hate me! There’s nothing I can do and there’s nothing I have to do.” I started to trust myself and my friends more. I didn’t doubt everything that I did, and I wasn’t constantly trying to make the decision that I felt like would make people like me. To be honest, changing this kind of mindset is hard, and it’s a long path. The most important thing though, no matter what you decide to do, is to always be your own best friend.

It is easy to get in your mind and feel like that, but you have to remember how you are even friends in the first place. Think about what brought you together and what things you have done for each other to allow for a a healthy friendship in the first place. There are plenty of reasons people become friends, you just bring those to your mind and think of what parts of your friends make you feel happy as well. What is it about you that you can see they clearly appreciate? Just be yourself that is who they fell in love with in the first place.

When you aren't at the height of an emotional overwhelm/breakdown, try to ask yourself WHY you feel that way: "Why do I feel like my friends hate me?" ❌Importantly, make sure you DON'T answer that question by listing all the things that you think are wrong with you (ex. "they probably hate me because I feel like I'm annoying/needy/reserved/etc.", or "I am uglier than them so they probably hate me", "I dress differently so they probably hate me; "I like things that they don't like")... I say to avoid this because these are not provable, substantial, or rationale reasons why any normal human should hate you, especially a friend. ✅INSTEAD, answer that "why?" with real, provable instances that would indicate that they 'hate' you (ex. they literally told me they hated me, verbatim; I caught them talking behind my back; they bully me constantly; they said xyz about me and never apologized; etc.) ... 99% of the time you simply can't answer that question. And if you can't answer that question, it is very likely that your friends do not hate you. If you feel like your friends are using you, try to identify what they're using you for. Next, try to identify if they only reach out to you when they want that thing from you, or if its to hang out and spend genuine time with you.

Having such thoughts is normal; I've had such fears for a good part of my life too. You must let yourself understand what friends are. They are people you hang out with, people you joke around with, and people you spill your darkest secrets to. If they are willing to take that step and spend all that time with you, I don't think they would hate you. If you ever feel that they are distant or wonder if you did something that upset them, talk to them and let them know your concerns. Most of the time it is paranoia, and their negative feelings aren't directed toward you. Communication is so important to avoid such misunderstandings and concerns.