What to do after a sexual assault
What to do after a sexual assault
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is defined as sexual contact or behaviour that happens without explicit consent. Examples of sexual assault are:
Fondling or unwanted sexual touching
Non-consensual kissing
Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body
Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape
Attempted rape
What is explicit consent?
You cannot give consent when you’re
incapacitated by drugs or alcohol
feeling pressured, threatened, or intimidated
under the legal age of consent
What do I do right after experiencing sexual assault?
If you’re severely injured or in immediate danger, call your emergency line.
If you’re not in immediate danger but do not feel safe, consider calling someone you trust for support.
Know that what happened is not your fault.
If possible, call your local sexual assault hotline or a victim support center.
Go to a health care facility to receive medical attention and a sexual assault forensic exam, also known as “rape kit”. This has to be done within 72h and if possible, you should not go to the bathroom, shower, comb your hair, change your clothes, or clean up the area in which the assault has happened before you have done the exam.
Consider getting Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis, DoxyPEP, or the emergency contraceptive pill to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy depending on what you want and what your doctor recommends.
If you want to, report the assault. If you’re already getting medical attention, you can tell a medical professional that you want to report the assault. Otherwise, you can also call your local police department.
What do I do afterwards?
Safety planning
Brainstorm what you could do to stay safe and reduce the risk of future harm. Remember that it is not your fault that it happened though.
Therapy
Working with a therapist might help with dealing with the challenges you might face after experiencing sexual assault.
Support group
Dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault is hard. But you’re not alone. In support groups you have the option to talk to other people with similar experiences.
Self-Care
Making sure that our body and mind are well cared for can make such a difference. Focus on what helps you to feel grounded and safe.
Be careful with media consumption
Portrayal of sexual violence in the media can be very triggering for sexual assault survivors. Remember that you don’t have to watch potentially triggering content. Pay attention to trigger or content warnings and read about the content before you watch it.
How can 7 Cups help?
7 Cups can only support you while you’re not in crisis, which means, you can’t be actively self-harming, suicidal, in active danger, or planning on hurting someone while using 7 Cups.
When you’re safe, this is what 7 Cups can offer:
1-1 chats with trained listeners
You can talk to our trained listeners 24/7. You can browse for listeners here.
Open and guided group support chats
You can find the schedule of all trauma support discussions here.
Self-help guides
There are different self-help guides available, including one about traumatic experiences. You find all of them here.
Online therapy
7 Cups offers online therapy for USD §39.75 per week. This includes daily messaging - the therapist responds 1-2 times a day from monday to friday. If you want to have weekly video sessions, this costs additional §55 per week. You can find more information about that here.
Recovering from Sexual Violence | RAINN
Tips for Survivors on Consuming Media | RAINN
Self-Care After Trauma | RAINN
Telling Loved Ones About Sexual Assault | RAINN
Reporting to Law Enforcement | RAINN
Steps You Can Take After Sexual Assault | RAINN
The Importance of DNA in Sexual Assault Cases | RAINN
What Is a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam? | RAINN
What Consent Looks Like | RAINN
What Is Sexual Assault? | Columbia Health
Post-Exposure-Prophylaxis | WebMD
@audienta
Can feel the warmth through this guide. Gentle reminders, required tips, all shared so mindfully with great professionalism.
Thanks for putting this together along with the helpful resources, Audienta. 💛
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you, Sun. It's a topic I really care about.
Thank you for sharing. This post inspired me to write about my own experiences :)
@StrawberryShaken
Wow, I'm so proud of you and happy this post could inspire you. 💜
@audienta thank you for this post. this is so important. i have been assaulted a number of times and have been in mental health care to help the healing for 10+ years. if anyone ever, at any time, needs someone to talk to, i am a listener, and i am here for you.
@jonghyunnie
Trigger warning: sexual assault, trauma through war
Sorry to hear that. I have also been sexually assaulted on numerous occasions ..I never got over the first event which caused a deep sadness, depression and PTSD. I was blamed for it too...why did they do it to me in particular.
The last time I was walking in the street wearing long clothes and had a visa hat on...I don't think he could see anything much if me ..he came running up behind me after I moved away from him trying to be a bit close ..and he pushed me down some steps. I think because of my past experiences I went straight into fight and flight ..I was able to fight him off by kicking and hitting him many times. I screamed and there were people around eating ice cream but no one came to help. When I got away I ran to a car and asked them to drive me somewhere safe but they refused...I felt let down by everyone. However at least I know that God has given us this ability the fight and flight response...if it was not for that I don't know what would happen
I feel that people belittle sexual assault and often don't understand effects it has in people. They say things like ..at least he did not kill the woman, yet I often felt that due to the suffering felt I wondered why he did not kill me as I was left half dead somehow. When I went to UN and tried to register there for something they said they don't deal with personal issues ..only those affected by war. They might think war is worse - maybe for some people it is. However, I have lived through a war and it did not affect me much and I think it did not affect me because I was affected by this assault. If I had to choose between war or assault I personally would choose war as easier for me...for me assault is not easy at all. I have not been able to marry or think of marriage from that time as well. War is terrible - I am not belittling it but I guess personally I have been a lot more affected by assault
@friendlyBranch6230
I'm so sorry to hear about your story. I hope you can find a way to heal from all of this. The trauma support community is here for you - you're not alone.
@jonghyunnie
Thank you for supporting the trauma support community.
Great post Audienta. I know it may not be available everywhere but could you also include the importance of accessing PEP, DoxyPep and the morning after pill in the first 72hrs after an assault? Not as medical advice but general knowledge of the options available to protect yourself against stds and pregnancy after.
@blueLemon6419
Thank you for your input, that's a great idea!
@audienta can I rant about what happened to me? TW sexual abuse, incest, csa
Most of my ptsd (it's not actually diagnosed but i have all the symptoms so like-) is from my ex boyfriend who was super physical and just wanted my body, but i never said no bc 1) i always just froze and didn't say anything and 2) he was my best friend so i didn't want to lose him (still did tho..) we had a few talks about dialing back on the pda and he would say he would try but would go right back to pushing
He asked for pictures
And took pictures of you know what as a ‘preview’
And made me touch him there
And basically humped my leg to show me how hard he could get
And shoved his thumb in my mouth for ‘practice’
So yeah..
The worst part is, i shouldve just said no
I couldn't *** speak because i was so scared
It makes me feel so weak…
Some people say i should press charges or report him
But we were dating, and he thought i gave consent bc i never really said no
So it's partially my fault anyway
Also, i asked him if he’d still love me if i was a biological guy and he said no.. He always said he was a straight guy and it made me feel so invalidated…
I never wanted to change him or force smth onto him but that.. Idk..
so yeah..
Everytime i see my ex bf i start getting really anxious (my heart rate went up to 182 one time) and start shaking
It happened yesterday
But the weird part is, whenever i actually talk to him, everything is fine
It's just when i see him in band context
he plays saxophone (bari) and they sit like behind the guard, when i was dating him i never went full out with the dancing because i felt like he was watching me from behind (he was tho, he always said i looked sexy while dancing 0-0) and yesterday he sat there and i was super concious even tho he doesn't even talk to me much anymore, he has a new gf anyway
That's another thing, he has a long distance gf, and i'm wondering how he’s gonna show affection because his way of affection is physical touch
smth happened in his freshman year (he did smth) that made everyone warn me not to get close to him
I should have listened
Long story short (ima tell you since you can't really spread rumors since you're not in my school), he asked a trans guy for pictures to “help with his body image”
And then he did it again with me :D
The thing is, the way he explained it, he made himself sound like misunderstood and i totally fell for it bc no one else was listening to him and a lot of people were super mean and i was is bsf
Which is another thing i feel guilty about
I give people second chances way too easily
There's this girl that's bullied me since 2nd grade, and i kept giving her more chances even though she made me feel like *** at like 5th grade and bullied me throughout middle school
I'm trying to distance myself from her but it's hard bc she keeps finding me in the hallways and stuff
:< i'm too much of a people pleaser..
another part of my ptsd just kinda came back to me yesterday
I had a dream about it yesterday's night (like yesterday's last night if that makes sense) and I woke up and was like ‘oh yeah that happened.. Yay’
Long story short, when i was 12, i was with my brother (he’s 19 now) in our pool, we were alone and it was dark (we’d had a party earlier and we were still outside) and i guess i was feeling kinda childish, like i was acting more like a 8 year old if that makes sense, and he was holding me while i was floating in the pool(one arm under my knees and the other under my back/shoulders), and telling me random stories he was making up, and then mid story he decided to stick his finger up my you-know-what
I swam away after that but i don't think he knew i knew what he was doing
The reason i even know is bc i was the one who walked in on him watching you know what when i was like 9 or 10 :D
I never told anyone
I told a friend a while ago
She wanted me to come to her house TwT and like stay with her
She wants me to tell my parents or another adult but like it was nearly 5 years ago and what are they gonna do? He can just deny it anyway
My parents like to think i make things up for attention or to be trendy (like me being trans and a therian) so i'm kinda scared to tell them
@RandomKai 😭😭😭😭
@RandomKai
Trigger warning: sexual abuse, incest, csa
Hey Kai,
I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I want you to know a few things:
1. Consent means saying yes, not not saying no.
2. You asked for less and your ex-boyfriend still continued and ignored your wishes.
3. It is not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. Freezing is a subconscious response that you can't control. Sometimes we can't get out of a situation immediately for a bunch of reasons and the strong thing about you is that now, you start talking about it.
4. What your brother did is absolutely not okay.
5. Your situations are valid and can be reported. There can be multiple reasons for reporting abuse and for some people, it can be beneficial even when they can't win due to a lack of proof. There are also good reasons to not report it. The important thing is that the choice is completely and only yours.
I hope you can heal from this and find peace with it. This community is here to support you - you're not alone.
I wish you all the best!
Take care,
audienta
@audienta thank you that makes me feel a bit better <3
@RandomKai
I'm glad to hear that 💜
@audienta thankyou ❤ I hope this helps save people
@Tinywhisper11
That's my hope too 💜