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blueLemon6419
6 25,179 M Aiming High 5
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts5,301 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes48 Current upvotes48 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceNovember 24, 2017
Bio




For Sun,


Mindfulness schedule link:


 https://www.7cups.com/forum/50OverCommunity_193/TeamToolsandTeamUpdates_1705/50plusDiscussionsScheduleandTopics_207920/




 I am present

here and now

I am present

Now I am an adult

I am safe




Now I have agency

I can choose

I have a voice




I am here

I am now

This morning is cool

The grass is silver
with dew

Wet on my toes

Now I am safe




I am here

I am now

Half way between a
soft moon and a sharp sun

Present at dawn

Standing on steady
earth




I am here

I am now

The chickens are
running

The sheep are awake

I smell the promise
of rain

I breathe the cool
wet breeze




Outdoors, right now,
I am safe

I matter

My voice matters

My choice matters

I am safe






































Recent forum posts
unbelief
Religion & Spirituality / by blueLemon6419
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I want to believe again. comments and prayers welcome. I'm trying to work through this but I need to know someone out there felt like this and got back. I want my faith back.  I want to believe again. I have been praying but it feels  like I’m calling out to an empty sky. I have been asking, seeking, knocking  At an empty door.  But I know He is there.  He has to be.  If He is good and merciful The problem must be me. I think in the end of the world when the sheep and the goats are separated I will be a goat. I don’t ask why anymore Why I got hurt? Why I still hurt? Why it happened at all? Why it happened more than once? Why the people that hurt me prosper? Why am I not over it? Why do so many suffer the same or worse? Why there are no more miracles? I don’t ask because I can’t hear the answer Is he not speaking  or am I deaf? Because the problem must be me I am a goat. Predestined. Born rejected I read the bible and it’s empty words I stand in church and sing empty songs and all there is inside me is nothing cold dead nothing The call me to the altar promise to fill me up And all I find there is a dirty carpet that itches my knees  A dirty carpet in a cold room Where everyone else has found the Spirit  and I’m left kneeling there  hands up and chest empty Filled with nothing If He is good and merciful If His promises never fail If His sheep shall not want How am I hurt and lost and wanting? I don’t ask because I have the answer now The problem must be me. I don’t ask why, because I am among the goats I am like King Saul in the old testament Pretty on the outside but rejected  A failure before the crown ever touched his head I want my faith back God help my unbelief
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