COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (CPTSD)
**This space is for Survivors of CPTSD. This is a safe space for Survivors to share with one another and seek support in a supportive and respectful environment.**
Many traumatic events (e.g., car accidents, natural disasters, etc.) are of time-limited duration. However, in some cases Survivors experience multiple traumas, that continue or is repeated over many months or years at a time. The current PTSD diagnosis does not fully capture the severe psychological harm that occurs with prolonged, repeated trauma. People who experience chronic trauma often report additional symptoms alongside formal PTSD symptoms, such as changes in their self-concept and the way they adapt to stressful events.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) differs from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in that a traumatic event occurs multiple times over an extended period of time. Examples of CPTSD include:
*Concentration camps
*Prisoner of War camps
*Prostitution brothels
*Long-term domestic violence
*Long-term child physical abuse
*Long-term child sexual abuse
*Organized child exploitation rings
* Abduction/Kidnapping (including parental)
* Any form of neglect/abuse while in a situation where escape is not possible
An individual who experienced a prolonged period (months to years) of chronic victimization and complete control by another/others may also experience the following difficulties:
Emotional Regulation. May include persistent sadness, suicidal thoughts, explosive anger, or inhibited anger.
Consciousness. Includes forgetting traumatic events, reliving traumatic events, or having episodes in which one feels detached from one's mental processes or body (dissociation).
Self-Perception. May include helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings.
Distorted Perceptions of the Perpetrator. Examples include attributing total power to the perpetrator, becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, or preoccupied with revenge.
Relations with Others. Examples include isolation, distrust, or a repeated search for a rescuer.
One's System of Meanings. May include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.
CPTSD Survivors are often diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), DDNOS, and other dissociative disorders. Because people who experience chronic trauma often have additional symptoms not included in the PTSD diagnosis, clinicians may misdiagnose PTSD or only diagnose a personality disorder consistent with some symptoms, such as Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder.
Chronic trauma survivors may experience any of the following difficulties:
Survivors may avoid thinking and talking about trauma-related topics because the feelings associated with the trauma are often overwhelming.
Survivors may use alcohol or other substances as a way to avoid and numb feelings and thoughts related to the trauma.
Survivors may engage in self-mutilation and other forms of self-harm.
Survivors who have been abused repeatedly are vulnerable to further exploitation and abuse, and can be unfairly blamed for the symptoms they experience as a result of victimization.
At 7cups, we are empathetic to your past experiences and your feelings as a CPTSD Survivor. Please use this space to share your CPTSD stories, feelings and support for others. (Please avoid being graphic or triggering.)
WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!
edited by dancingRainbow45 06/04/2017 Additional information added
I've been really depressed the last couple of days and I don't know how to get out of this. I'm really struggling with my homework for music appreciation because the music for this week is what set this off. My own music isn't helping because I just feel empty. I went out with my family last night and I just...there's just nothing. Only a deep sadness I can't get rid of. I don't know what to do. I don't like this feeling. My current favorite song isn't helping, my all time favorite song isn't helping, my playlist that usually keeps me from falling in the first place isn't helping because it wasn't put together to pull me back up once I've fallen, it was put together to stop this from happening. But it did. And now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. Everything in my life is designed to prevent this because I know I don't know how to get out of it. Everything is designed to make me at least a little happy so this doesn't happen. Literally everything. My plants, my music, the shows/movies I watch, the food I eat, I have things all over my apartment that are there for a reason. Even the shelf full of tiny stuffed animals that I get every time we go somewhere new as a family. But it's all useless now because I'm that stupid old lady in the Life Alert commercial saying, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!". I don't know what to do
@BeeLeigh
Bee I am sorry you have fallen on bad times. Music has a way to change emotions quickly. Music can soothe the soul or take you down to a dark place. I listen to pandora relaxiton music. I have a hard time listening to music with lyrics. It triggers me to much. Have you thought of listening to a book? Pandora has a lot good stations to choose from.
@BeeLeigh
take a break from studying go outside and get some fresh air. That helps your brain recharge. Do something physical. 15 sit-ups.. and so on. Watch you tube on yoga. Just some ideas..
@BeeLeigh Im sorry to hear your struggling Bee and I hope by the time you read this post, things may have improved for you. You mentioned in the post how a piece of music had set this off. What was it in particular about this music that caused you to be triggered? Is there anyway you can swap that piece of music for something else. Somtimes we can put lots of things into place to help us cope and grab that little happiness you spoke off, but perhaps some days those things for whatever their reasons wont work until you perhaps look at what is causing the block to happen. You can keep trying to break through that barrier and all the time your still trying to do so, thats what counts
@dancingRainbow45
Yeah I'm a lot better right now, but I have to do similar music for this weekend, and I have to get all my stuff done tomorrow cuz it's Easter weekend and super busy! So tomorrow is gonna be a loooooooong day!!! 😕
Ugh. Yeah, that's my issues in a nutshell. Geez. *lol*
Like it says, I was once Dx'd with Borderline Personality Disorder because of self harm. I think that was a blanket diagnosis 20 years ago when I used self harm as a way to cope. I don't use it any more - it scares too many people and I don't need it. My scars are enough of a reminder. The dissociation part, well, that part is hard to control and it's just as pervasive now as it was then.
But, only recently has my therapist told me about cPTSD - to which it was kind of a suprise. (That might be denial.) But when I look at it with a logical mind, all those things make sense and explain a lot - then that leads me to admit what happened to me and well, I'm not quite there yet. It's a lot to take and accept all at once....most days it's too much. It's easier to block and deny. But, one step at a time...
@KatieMoon1 It is very hard to have to acknowledge past events that cause us so much pain. I appreciate how hard it can be to accept this although deep down, you carry the reality with you each day. Sometimes Survivors can feel if they dont put things into words, if they dont write things down in black and white that somehow this means they havent said yes Im a survivor, because they have not acknowledged it outloud and/or with others. It is understandable that anyone with a trauma history would want to bury this, pretend its not there and try and carry on with life. Sadly though, as perhaps you have shared, the way in which trauma has impacted will come out in other ways eg self harm. Dissociation is a fantastic way that enables a child to cope with the unbearable; it was needed at the time of trauma, otherwise, the child may not have survived. As an adult everyone dissociates, driving to work in the car you may be thinking about what to get the kids for tea, or about an impending event your due to go to and not necessarily be aware of speed restriction signs etc but people get from A to B and are aware they have been driving. But for survivors of complex trauma, dissociation though effective as a child, can be problematic as an adult. Part of healing from your experiences would be to look at the issues surrounding your dissociation and how to manage this. There are different dissociative disorders and therefore different ways forward with each :)
@AutumnLeigh
Thank you for this post! I think it's important and a good read for everyone to share that there is a difference between the two variations of PTSD.
Blessings!
@happyevie3 Thank you Evie, a section on C-PTSD was long overdue and we had planned to introduce this into not only the forums but also into the support sessions we are currently running for members/listening We wanted to try and cover more issues that our members battle with each day that were not already being covered and will continue to build on this as time goes on. :)
Hey people, I am new here, but nice to know there is a section for CPTSD.
I offer non-contact, non-compulsory, virtual hugs to all who need them *hugs*.
@Lilibuth12
Welcome! I'm new too. :)
@Lilibuth12 @KatieMoon1. Welcome to you both :) We recently added the CPTSD section to the forums and will be expanding on many trauma related issues over time but yes there is a difference between PTSD and CPTSD and we wanted for our members who have suffered complex trauma and/or C-PTSD to feel that the issues they deal with daily were included in these forums as many members have complex trauma and related issues they are trying to manage and come to terms with. I hope you find this community safe and supportive, for this is what we aim to offer our members :)
@dancingRainbow45
this is a good thing. Thank you for creating this space.
@KatieMoon1 Your very welcome :) feel free to use this space anytime you need
Could there be discussions around C-PTSD like the ones on PTSD going on now? Or would it be too similar?
@SelfRescuingPrincess Hi Princess, we do have some support sessions on complex trauma and complex PTSD, as part of the series we currently do and are looking to expand this topic and introduce some new ones in the future.
@AutumnLeigh
********************Trigger Warning**********************
I cannot believe I didn't find this space earlier. I mention c-ptsd, and people say "aww haha typo?". No. That's not a typo. It's a real, serious form of ptsd. I have my cptsd from a childhood of abuse, physical emotional and sexual. In fact, I was chained and tied in a closet for the past 48 hours while my abusive parents burned kicked bruised and attacked me. Thank you very very much for this space. It is exactly what I needed right now
edited by dancingRainbow45 Added trigger warning.
@SemicolonSurvivor Hi Semi I have added a trigger warning to your post in accordance to community guidelines and ask that you seek the support of a listener who can be there for you. Its fine to post in the forums and I am glad you found the complex Trauma category which we set up to support Survivors like yourself. I hope your able to reach out for the support you need as your situation sounds pretty bad for you right now. What support do you currently have to help you cope with your situation and does anyone know whats happening for you?
@dancingRainbow45
Oh I'm really really sorry I forgot I'm so sorry. Yes many people know but nobody does anything to help
@SemicolonSurvivor
@SemicolonSurvivor No worries on that Semi. Feel free to post. You say many people know? Is anyone supporting you at all around all this? How do you see things improving for you? Have you thought what options you have, if any? Its a very difficult situation to be in and I admire your courage in speaking out about it, but I wish you werent being hurt. No one deserves that.
Complex trauma was an issue I wanted to bring into the trauma forums because it hadnt been posted previously and many people like yourself have experienced complex trauma and all the associated issues that go with it. There are listeners on the trauma community who have knowledge and experience is complex trauma so always feel free to reach out when you need.
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you love Yes many many people know. I mean they are kind of supportive but not as much as I need right now. Honestly I dont think it will improve. At least not for a few years until I can leave. I've thought and considered many options. None are posssible except waiting it out. I feel like I'm in a hurricane. It's surrounded me and there isn't anything I can do but cover my head and cower until the storms over, but I don't know how long that will take
@SemicolonSurvivor Hi Semi. Your situation sounds really bad for you. I hear you dont feel you have any options and feel the only way to cope with it, is to sit it out. Have you considered talking to a social worker, or possibly considering a safehouse as an option? This may not be something you wish to do and thats okay, I just wandered if this would be something to consider, look into and then if you decide no your not ready to do that, then at least you would have some idea as to what possible options may or may not be available to you, should you decide in the future you wish to get out of that abusive environment. Its very hard to feel trapped in a situation in which your getting hurt. I read what your parents did, and I dont know how you feel about what they have done, but it is wrong. No child and no adult deserves that kind of treatment. Staying in a situation sometimes can be just as courageous if not more sometimes than leaving, because you having to cope with this situation day in and day out. My concern for you is about seeing if there is any other support you would like or feel could benefit you. Is there someone at school you feel safe to talk to, perhaps a school counsellor or a friend?
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you again for your help. I have a huge fear of counselors and therapists for some reason... I'll look into some of the ideas that you suggested thank you very much. I dont trust any human. I'm alone. It's safer that way. Nobody who will get hurt if I can't make it through the upcoming years or I vanish. I protect myself by protecting others. I feel like my brain follows rules: "Don't let anyone in. Don't trust anyone. Don't cry. Don't smile. Don't eat. Live with it. This is your life." it's horrible
@SemicolonSurvivor
Hang in there. I know all those messages, I hear them every day. I waited until I was off to university until I left, it's so hard. I didn't really know what was going on was wrong but I certainly didn't feel good and felt like it shouldn't be that way. You can feel very trapped and not know who to trust. I promise you that there are people outside of your circle who will understand and listen and believe you. We certainly do.
I'm glad you're here and talking to us about it. That's very brave. It takes courage to speak out, even here. Please keep talking and know we care. 💕
I think the thing that bothers me the most about my CPTSD is how it never really goes away. I figure out how to manage a symptom just in time for my life to change in enough subtle ways that another symptom manifests. I feel like this juggler just trying desperately to keep all the balls in the air... while being attacked by several cats. Sometimes I'm just so tired. So exhausted by having to plod day in day out. I know I'll be happy (I felt happiness for the first time last year and it was amazing!!) one day... and I'll keep working on it each day. But sometimes I give into my feelings of anger at the unfairness of it all. I'm mildly autistic on top of all this and so the "black and white" thinking often gets me very frustrated over my own situation. Why don't people see the pain I'm in? Why can't allowances be made? I work hard and I'm smart but I need a flexible schedule is all. I think this means I'll end up having to just work for myself but of course that has a bunch of added stresses on top of it. And that's what I mean I guess... I solve a problem just in time for it to creat 8 more problems. Each time I get stronger... but it's a very delicate balance of "Just how many added problems can I handle with this new solution?"
I'm just tired.
TRIGGER WARNING
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Thanks for having a space here for people who deal with this. I NEVER know for sure if I belong here. I mean I oscillate between believing it and completely denying it. Would this count? -
Beginning at birth (due to prematurity, lots of medical tests and painful procedures and taken away from parents for the first 3 months in an incubator, then I was able to go home)
Then I spent equal amounts (at times more) at my grandparents' home where it was immemse amount of love, but it was triangulated and yet genuine (from grandmother) and LOTS of verbal and emotional abuse and LOTS of fighting from birth -16)
At my own home there was so much love and so much covert incest and (possible) actual incest, a lot of physical abuse at times SEVERE causing dissociation, and a lot of mental abuse... a lot of times sadistic "games" which ive been told was actually torture, was often. But mixed with love.
A lot of religious and spiritual abuse from birth-21 at church and at private Christian school from K-12...
Multiple rapes from different men ages 17 -21.
I have all the symptoms of C-PTSD... it's so terrible. I have the worst issues with my sexuality and relationships and how I process and interpret life. I have a bad eating disorder and self harm too. I dissociate and have bad flashbacks...
I have severe black and white thinking and double binds and rules and programs that are in my head. I have severe body memories. Ugh. I'm so tired.
Oh body memories suck @LovelyChantel.
anyone know how to get rid of them?
@Idkme2 I'd never heard the term body memories ever, until today. But there are times when I'm fine, and other times certain sexual touches hurt so bad even if they shouldn't hurt. The physical pain gets so bad, I can't hide it. 'body memories' makes a lot of sense.
@MsMusic
yep, just a touch, a smell, a sound can be enough to trigger a flash back or activate a flight/fright/freeze response..., its been my journey to start to acknowledge those and give them some thought/respect and learn to start healing from them... the best part is giving yourself permission to feel those things without guilt and shame. (In my case anyway).
@Idkme2 I didn't know what it was, so I didn't know how to begin to heal the pain when I'm touched. Thank you, have you found anything that helps?
@MsMusic
sorry I didnt reply earlier....
what helps with me is to talk to the triggered identity within yourself.... so (in my case) I say yes that smell reminds you of that filthy guy who hurt you and made a mess of your life, but that smell doesnt represent that any longer because he is gone... I wonder what the smell is connected to now in the present and then I look with my eyes wide open, in the present, at what the smell was... then I thank myself for identifying its pain and comfort any negative thoughts that may have crept in... I can do this by making gratitude statements... that smell was foul, its a great thing I dont have to carry it all the time... something like that....
it doesnt always work.... its a work in action.