Thoughts
I'm not sure how this is going to go but I should probably give it a try. Don't use my voice very often but I'm choking inside so have to get some of this crap out......
I have survived the first day at my new workplace
why did I have to be the one to move?
scared
what if I am totally useless and mess this place up too?
am I really rubbish at my job? Surely I would have an inclination if I was?
does 19 years service count for nothing? Am I being punished?
lost and alone
I have no one I can turn to
Hard to trust when all you know is hurt and rejection
So much going on inside but it's all jumbled and knotted together
scared I will end up back in the dark place, can't fight it again....
I just want to sleep all day so I don't have to think or feel.....maybe the nightmares will give me a break just this once
@crimsonLime6525
i have found a meditation online it's John Moyer I hope this can help you
Thinking of you lime
I found out that one of my friends (not a crew friend) has been considering seriously hurting (cutting) herself, if she hasn't done anything already. She said there's nothing I could do to stop her. I need to help her, but I don't know how. Anyone have any advice?
@tinycactus809
It is quite true: people don't overcome self harm just because a friend asks them to. Self harm is just a consequence brought by a much deeper and more complex suffering, and the urge to do it is often bigger than the person itself, your friend might be feeling this clearly, it's like an addiction and your friend feels like it's unthinkable to quit it and live without, hence told you clearly not to stand in the way. I know self harm is dangerous, but I think the more you bring attention to the self harm symptom, the more you risk pointless arguing and to take away the attention from the true root of the issue. Why the self harm? What are the feelings or beliefs behind it? Can you do something to help your friend cope with them? Sometimes it helps just listening, being there, NOT JUDGING, not answering thinking that you know best what your friend should do or should have done, and just trying to deliver the message that you care a lot and you value your friend a lot. And also keep your self care in mind, ultimately your friend's choices are not your responsibility, sometimes one has to walk through all the hell to find the door out and you can't help it
@GhostlyLilian
Thank you so much for this advice!
@tinycactus809
The best hep is not to act...
If she has her mind set on it so be it, noone can stop her, if she wants attention she knows people like you who care about her give her attention... Let it unfold and not intrude.. would you have her in cups thrown in a mental institution?
We are meant to help, support not condemn people to.mental institutions...
She is not the only one feeling suiccidal...
And phisucal scars tell our life story...it is us..
@beyondrepairs
Thank you
@tinycactus809
You are welcome..😔...
@tinycactus809
i would suggest that you tell her she needs help. Have her go into the hospital or even an outpatient program. Also she can check out Celebrate Recovery in your area. Google it 😊 please don't ignore her screams for help. If you have to call 911 she may get mad but you are a great friend for asking for help for her
Just trying to breathe
even that's a struggle
@crimsonLime6525 * sitting with you* if that's ok Lime
@mytwistedsoul
@NoneTheWiser
thank you both for being here with me, means more than you both could know
Ended up driving for hours today. Had the music up loud and just drove. Went for a walk when I finally stopped along the river. Hopefully I've tired myself out enough to sleep a little
@crimsonLime6525
ENJOY
Don't like strange places when the weather is not good. Can't go out walking. Don't know where to go so just hiding indoors. Not good 😔
@crimsonLime6525 I'm sorry the weather isn't good and you're in an unfamiliar place. Perhaps there's a movie or something you can find to fill your time or maybe you could find an nice quiet spot to go have lunch or dinner at?
@crimsonLime6525 Hey Lime - How are you?