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Thoughts

crimsonLime6525 November 12th, 2019

I'm not sure how this is going to go but I should probably give it a try. Don't use my voice very often but I'm choking inside so have to get some of this crap out......

I have survived the first day at my new workplace

why did I have to be the one to move?

scared

what if I am totally useless and mess this place up too?

am I really rubbish at my job? Surely I would have an inclination if I was?

does 19 years service count for nothing? Am I being punished?

lost and alone

I have no one I can turn to

Hard to trust when all you know is hurt and rejection

So much going on inside but it's all jumbled and knotted together

scared I will end up back in the dark place, can't fight it again....

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crimsonLime6525 OP January 24th, 2020

I just want to sleep all day so I don't have to think or feel.....maybe the nightmares will give me a break just this once

1 reply
courageousLychee7497 August 3rd, 2020

@crimsonLime6525

i have found a meditation online it's John Moyer I hope this can help you

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crimsonLime6525 OP January 25th, 2020
GhostlyLilian January 26th, 2020

Thinking of you lime

tinycactus809 January 26th, 2020

I found out that one of my friends (not a crew friend) has been considering seriously hurting (cutting) herself, if she hasn't done anything already. She said there's nothing I could do to stop her. I need to help her, but I don't know how. Anyone have any advice?

1 reply
GhostlyLilian January 26th, 2020

@tinycactus809

It is quite true: people don't overcome self harm just because a friend asks them to. Self harm is just a consequence brought by a much deeper and more complex suffering, and the urge to do it is often bigger than the person itself, your friend might be feeling this clearly, it's like an addiction and your friend feels like it's unthinkable to quit it and live without, hence told you clearly not to stand in the way. I know self harm is dangerous, but I think the more you bring attention to the self harm symptom, the more you risk pointless arguing and to take away the attention from the true root of the issue. Why the self harm? What are the feelings or beliefs behind it? Can you do something to help your friend cope with them? Sometimes it helps just listening, being there, NOT JUDGING, not answering thinking that you know best what your friend should do or should have done, and just trying to deliver the message that you care a lot and you value your friend a lot. And also keep your self care in mind, ultimately your friend's choices are not your responsibility, sometimes one has to walk through all the hell to find the door out and you can't help it

1 reply
tinycactus809 January 26th, 2020

@GhostlyLilian

Thank you so much for this advice!

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beyondrepairs February 10th, 2020

@tinycactus809

The best hep is not to act...

If she has her mind set on it so be it, noone can stop her, if she wants attention she knows people like you who care about her give her attention... Let it unfold and not intrude.. would you have her in cups thrown in a mental institution?

We are meant to help, support not condemn people to.mental institutions...

She is not the only one feeling suiccidal...

And phisucal scars tell our life story...it is us..

2 replies
tinycactus809 February 10th, 2020

@beyondrepairs

Thank you

1 reply
beyondrepairs February 10th, 2020

@tinycactus809

You are welcome..😔...

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courageousLychee7497 March 10th, 2020

@tinycactus809

i would suggest that you tell her she needs help. Have her go into the hospital or even an outpatient program. Also she can check out Celebrate Recovery in your area. Google it 😊 please don't ignore her screams for help. If you have to call 911 she may get mad but you are a great friend for asking for help for her

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crimsonLime6525 OP January 29th, 2020

Just trying to breathe

even that's a struggle

1 reply
mytwistedsoul January 29th, 2020

@crimsonLime6525 * sitting with you* if that's ok Lime

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crimsonLime6525 OP January 29th, 2020

@mytwistedsoul

@NoneTheWiser

thank you both for being here with me, means more than you both could know

2 replies
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95969 January 30th, 2020

I am going to get myself kicked out of 7 cups. B R E A T H E

3 replies
95969 January 30th, 2020

@95969

Probably shouldn't done that.

Ughhhhhhhhh

2 replies
95969 January 30th, 2020

@95969

We need a cussing , get your bs out room. Just saying.

1 reply
tinycactus809 January 31st, 2020

@95969

I agree 100%

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crimsonLime6525 OP February 8th, 2020

Ended up driving for hours today. Had the music up loud and just drove. Went for a walk when I finally stopped along the river. Hopefully I've tired myself out enough to sleep a little

1 reply
February 9th, 2020

@crimsonLime6525

ENJOY

Image result for sleep images free

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crimsonLime6525 OP February 10th, 2020

Don't like strange places when the weather is not good. Can't go out walking. Don't know where to go so just hiding indoors. Not good 😔

1 reply
mytwistedsoul February 10th, 2020

@crimsonLime6525 I'm sorry the weather isn't good and you're in an unfamiliar place. Perhaps there's a movie or something you can find to fill your time or maybe you could find an nice quiet spot to go have lunch or dinner at?

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mytwistedsoul February 25th, 2020

@crimsonLime6525 Hey Lime - How are you?