I don't want to do this anymore
I know I'm wrong, I know there's something about me that just doesn't add up. When you first meet me I'm a good, uplifting and productive citizen who always wishes to better themselves but shit, that's not true. I force myself to do that because I think that if I keep being a good person good stuff will come to me but I just end up being agressive, impulsive and hurting everyone that is dear to me no matter what I do. It almost feels like a curse. I had several traumatic experiences, bullying related and with my parents. I didn't live a happy childhood and I've been a lonely person in general, but I don't want that anymore. I'm so so willing to change, but whenever I try and do my best it just messes up and I end up going to the past, lost me that always haunts me every day of my life. It almost feels like someone, no something, that pulls me and chains me to the past events that happened to me, no matter how much I calm down and do whatever my therapist says I should do
Edited by FM CaringBrit moved it to a more appropiate area of the trauma subcom the areait was posted in is more for te trauma team
No No No No No; Ive been througj similar stuff. And im choosing not to give up. U can't give up either. Pwease... im asking u not to do that. U have so much potential. Giving up wont get u anywhere. If anything it will get u somewhere worse. Please believe me on this. Dont give up. I believe in u.
@LegendsNeverDie
It's a little tiring to go on if you just don't move on, but I try to keep going anyway, to be a better person and helping people who are going through what I'm going through. Thanks for the concern, man <3
@riseandshineitsanewday
I can very much relate to this.
And I don't have the answer.
I guess that's what life is.
Searching for one...
@SilverbackTiger Guess you're right, nobody knows how the universe works.
@riseandshineitsanewday
I don't mean to offend you in any way, but I am having a similar experience. Do not give up, please. It is so difficult to keep going and I understand that. While I may not know you personally, know what you've been through, know what you are going through, or even see things from your point of view, please do not give up. What has helped me is holding on to even the smallest bit of hope that things will get better someday. Please, don't give up.
@Clementine9792 I'm trying to do that, and no offense taken. Don't worry, we'll get through this.
@riseandshineitsanewday almost 2 years ago I went to give up, and now 2 years later my life is completely different. I'm not saying that i am my best self yet but I am so grateful that I didn't go through with it and since then I have made so many good memories. I just want to tell you that your strong, people will miss you and there is people that love you and it does get better. I promise you that 💕
@Saltandchili Thanks for the hope. We really need uplifting people like you in this world
@riseandshineitsanewday
It sounds like you are working through your trauma but maybe take things one day at a time. I am having to learn that the hard way too.
@Summershy It's hard to work on it when you're always being rushed by the world and you beat yourself up to be a better person. I hate hurting people I love, but I'm working on bettering myself more.
@riseandshineitsanewday sorry to hear your going through an extremly tough time right now your not alone
i hope it was ok but moved your thread out of the trauma team area its for trauma team threads i was stuck between my diary or share your story if you feel this would be better in my diary just let me know