Discussing Trigger Warnings - WorkingitThrough2

@WendyBird14 uhh I mean I don't think emotions alone is what makes the trauma also the situation*

@WendyBird

Hi Wendy, thanks for your thoughts. I think it is natural to want to talk about the event and what was done to us. I absolutely think survivors deserve these spaces.

When I said chat about a topic like SA I was referring to scheduled sessions where the banner is set with the topic for all to see. In essence that would be the contact/trigger warning and therefore expected as part of the chat.

I am trying to be practical about the use of group settings and discussion of trauma events. I have seen a lot of people say things like ‘my trauma is not as bad as yours’ and ‘mine doesn’t count’. Those types of comments tend to pop up after discussing events but don’t seem to when discussing the feelings and beliefs we are left with or when exploring coping strategies. Sometimes talking about the event is a type of avoidance from dealing with emotions, which I appreciate may be difficult to hear. I've also noticed members repeat trauma stories and have negative reactions from others because they become triggered. This then reinforced their messaging that they weren't accepted in wider society and it's so sad to see them leave and not use cups for support.

Current research shows that if 2 people experience an event, and say one gets PTSD and the other doesn’. The one that develops PTSD dissociated at the time of the event. When we dissociate, the memory of the event fails to integrate in the brain and be marked as a ‘past’ experience. It remains as current experience, with all the alarm, anxiety and dsyregulated emotions as the actual event. This is why I said the trauma is not the event itself. Unfortunately I learnt this on training so I cannot link to a specific source but the NICABM have regular free training that covers this for those whom are interested, plus they are on YT.

I based my comments on the model for trauma informed therapy. It is a 3 phased approach that starts with Safety and Stabilisation. At this stage trauma is not mentioned and the person is encouraged to focus on making current life safe and manageable. Trauma work is usually done 1-1 in therapy. In group settings, trauma work has the potential to trigger others because the dynamics of abusive relationships are re-traumatising for others. Abusers all work in similar patterns of grooming, so it is logical that witnessing others talk about these behaviours in their relationships will be triggering. For this reason most Domestic abuse and Rape crisis centres do not allow trauma work in group sessions. Then the final phase of recovery is integration, this is integration of memory, emotional experience and core beliefs (and not necessarily fusion of parts for those that have DID as this is a personal choice).

I said that I don’t think the event should be discussed in a group setting because we are not set up to help people if they are triggered into crisis. Not everyone using the site will have the experience to know what boundaries are necessary to do this work safely. I also talked about the emotions of trauma because many people with become stuck in denial because shame/fear of reprisal stops them from accepting it. Or they constantly repeat the trauma event, seeking validation, and co-regulation in the hope of resolving the memory but instead they flood themselves with re-experiencing. What actually resolves the memory is accepting it has happened, rejecting what the abusers made you believe about yourself, (as a result of their crimes!) and helping your brain notice that the present is now safe (if it is).

I think cups is in a brilliant position to help people with safety and stabilisation, and also to help those further along in recovery with the integrating stage when in a group setting. But I personally feel trauma work should only be done in a 1-1 setting with someone experienced enough to do this safely. Which is why having great listeners is so helpful to those who can’t afford therapy. The difficulty with a group setting is that some maybe ready to do all 3 stages, others none, or just stabilisation. But unless you have separate spaces for people at each stage and everyone is self aware enough to know what stage they are is, it is very hard for all 3 to be done at once.

I wanted to clarify my view so that you didn’t think I was invalidating the need to talk about the event. I want to make sure that when people do, their bravery is met by a suitably skilled and compassionate response that meets their needs, without distressing others around them. As a survivor myself I know the damage that can be done by unsafe ears.

Yes, that's the word!

@audien

All i did is make a suggestion "If this is the case maybe 7CUPS should think about phasing TW out. "

It is a suggestion because i used the words "Maybe" to show uncertainty & "Think" as in to ponder. In other words Maybe they should Think about it. I hope you can at least step out of your police roll long enough to realize that is all i did.

@audienta

I want to say thank you for allowing this discussion to take place. To all of you who so graciously participated with your voice, I say thank you.

This post was introduced to give our opinions of how we are affected by seeing trigger warnings, and I think that everyone has done a great job. I only hope that no one leaves feeling shorted or misunderstood. It is these type of discussions that helps us all to learn and to grow and to be able to hear other people's point of view without judgment.

Thanks 7cups, Way to go😊