Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Tuesday, October 22nd 2019

Hey everyone its good to see you all again! In case you were wondering yes it is I @AriannaPink (Arianna, Ari, or Aria) back with another spooky Tuesday check-in! First if you missed last weeks check-in, and would like to tune in on what story was given, and what we last discussed please feel free to click here! Otherwise lets just jump right in to our main check-in question so we can get started with our story for the week!

Main Check-In Question: How are you doing today overall?

Okay now that thats out of the way get cozy, and comfy everyone because we will be starting the story time shortly!

Quick Little Disclaimer: While both @MonBon & I both tried our very hardest to edit all possible triggers out keep in mind these stories do come from real survivors of domestic abuse so if you feel like you may get triggered from this type of content please answer the Main Check-in Question, and then click off here for your own mental health.

Like always the font will temporarily turn back to normal both out of respect for the survivor who courageously shared her story, but also for your reading convenience during the story portion of this thread.

Now without further ado here is Emilys Story!

I was 19, a student in my second year at college, when I met the man of my dreams in one of my classes. He was tall, blonde, blue-eyed, and All-American — with a smooth demeanor and a knack for saying all the right things. He treated me like a princess. Gifts, surprise visits to my dorm room and classes, frequent phone calls to see where I was and how I was doing. He told me he loved me within the first month of our relationship, and he wanted to be near me all the time. On our first anniversary, he surprised me with a candlelit dinner in a house overlooking the lake. I was living the fairy tale that every little girl is taught to dream.

But then, two weeks after our first anniversary, I found him in bed with an ex-girlfriend. I immediately broke up with him. It was only then that I began to truly see his controlling nature.

I started to see him everywhere I went. He showed up to my classes and sat two rows behind me. I caught glimpses of him walking a couple paces behind me on campus. Pretty soon, he started calling my cell phone constantly, leaving up to twenty voice messages a day begging me to reconsider our relationship. When I started hanging out with other guys, he would follow me and leave threatening notes under the windshield wipers on my car. My professors started to confide in me that my boyfriend had told them about my drug problem.

I returned home one evening after going to a meeting on campus, and he was on my doorstep. He was drunk, and he was angry. As his anger escalated, he became more, and more violent, and had simply snapped. I escaped to a friends house an hour later with extensive injuries from head to toe.

Following the first attack, I took some self-defense lessons from a friend of mine who was a black-belt in karate. I stayed with some friends so that I didnt have to go back to my apartment alone. I felt like everyone was looking at me, even though I had carefully caked on make-up to cover the bruises. It took me days to build up the courage to leave the apartment to go to class. I was terrified, and I felt more alone than ever. Though I have always been close to my parents, I refused to tell them. I felt that they would be hurt, worried – or worse – disappointed in how Id handled the situation. My friends, though they tried to be supportive, had a hard time even believing what was happening.

A week later, he confronted me again. This time, he was sober, and it was in broad daylight in the center of campus. Students would walk by and stare, but not one interfered. I managed to fend him off and used my cell phone to call the police. A week later, he would break bail and leave the country. I would never see him again.

The experience did change me – sometimes for the worse, but (I hope) mostly for the better. I had to struggle with fear, anger, depression, insomnia, and even nausea. I had to mend the breach of trust that my parents felt when they found out about my situation after the fact. Ive had to fight to break down my defensive walls, so that I could be less guarded in my romantic relationships and less cautious in my friendships. It has not been easy.

But — to be completely honest with you – I wouldnt change a moment of my experience for anything in the world. It shook me to the core. It created a passion in me for justice and peace, and it led me down a path that I would have never expected. It led me over to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. I will always remember, with the highest gratitude, the role that my experience has allowed me to play in reaching out to survivors.

Dating abuse is a reality for many, many teens across this country — a terrifying, overwhelming reality that is largely hidden and ignored. I wish that I had known at the time what I know now, thanks to the work of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: I am not alone. I am not the only one to have experienced what I experienced, and I am not the only one who has decided to turn those experiences into positive changes for others like me. I am very honored to be a part of such an amazing generation of young people who will start the conversation about dating abuse, and who will change the realities of young people across the nation.

Now to finish up this check-in I have a couple of questions for you guys...

#1. What was your favorite part of this story?

And #2. How do you feel after reading this story?

Thank you so much everyone for reading this story, participating in this check-in, and taking a chance on me! I will hopefully see you guys next week!!!

- @AriannaPink

P.S. If you would like to see the full/unedited version of todays story click here just please do it at your own discretion because you will see the whole version which may trigger some.

P.P.S. For at least this check-in thread @MonBon will be helping me out by responding to at least some of your guys messages. This is because Im currently recovering from a procedure that can affect my typing, and am on medication that can affect my thinking. So if some of you get a response from Mon, and not me thats why. Thank you once again @MonBon for agreeing to help me out during this time it is very much appreciated! 🧡...

Hi again it is me Arianna here once again to feature a friendly Halloween GIF per our October tradition, and this one actually has a very important question so lets go ahead, and get started!!!

Well as a matter of fact it is almost Halloween we only have nine more days left guys so if you celebrate be sure to have costumes, and candy ready very soon!!! 🎃👻💀 ️😈🍬🍭🧡💜

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