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RedHawk6547
2 28,396 M Aiming High 9
PathStep 337 Compassion hearts1,025 Forum posts756 Forum upvotes1,436 Current upvotes1,436 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 3, 2017
Bio
I like to write poetry and listen to music.
Recent forum posts
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The Child Within
Trauma Support / by RedHawk6547
Last post
 June 25th, 2020
...See more A girl about four or five years old Sitting and crying in the corner Feeling scared, sad and alone All she wanted was someone to protect her Instead of verbally and physically abusing her No sign of joy or hope in her eyes Just a look of great sadness Hitting her head violently against the wall Wanting to feel something even if its pain Wishing to be hugged, rocked and loved.
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Poetry
Trauma Support / by RedHawk6547
Last post
 June 21st, 2020
...See more Guilt and shame are not my friends But they keep coming around Thoughts keep swirling Peace can't be found Shame of who I am And about my past Thought I was over it But that didn't last Guilt follows close behind Too many mistakes to name I keep reliving them And have only myself to blame If I could do anything what would it be To live my life for others or just be me Would my life be put to the test Maybe staying silent would be best It's all mixed up shame and fear If only it could be clear I won't ever be truly free I just can't risk being me
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My thoughts (open to all) Trigger Warning
Journals & Diaries / by RedHawk6547
Last post
 July 26th
...See more I have these thoughts in my head. Will they ever go away. Two years its been since I've cut. Can I make it another day? I can and I will I tell myself. I've been through worse before. I'll get over yesterday. I just can't share anymore. It all started when I said I wished things were different. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just wanted to be closer. It made her sad and confused by what i had to say. I thought we wanted the same things. Turns out I didn't have a clue. Now to try and fix it. Too bad I don't know what to do. The urges are always with me. Mostly weak but now getting strong. I need to be punished for what I did wrong. It's been two years since I cut. Do I throw it all away?
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My story trigger warning
Trauma Support / by RedHawk6547
Last post
 June 2nd, 2019
...See more So I'm not sure where to start. I was sexually abused by my babysitter at an early age and then later her son. I remember thinking she was the only one that loved me. My view of love got screwed up. Her son and I were best friends, we were the same age. He ended up raping me. I have major trust issues. I still have trouble sleeping and being touched. I got married because it was expected of me. I told my ex husband about the rape and he still pressured me for sex all the time. We got divorced. I have a daughter and she is the best part of my life. I spent too many years trying to make my marriage work and it wasn't fair to either of us. I'm not sure what I hope to accomplish by sharing my story. I just needed to get it out. I have only told my therapist the whole story. It's been a long time and I think I am ready to try and get on with my life. They have. Thanks for listening.
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