Supporting childhood trauma survivors
November 18 is World Day for the Prevention of and Healing from Child Sexual Exploitation, Abuse and Violence.
What are things every childhood trauma survivor needs to hear? What do you like to let them know?
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@amiablePeace77
- What are things every childhood trauma survivor needs to hear? IIt is not your fault. No one should have to go through that.
- What do you like to let them know? Not everyone in this world is out to hurt you. Building trust takes time
@soulsings
I believe it's very important to let them know it's not your fault as many might be in doubt whether they did something wrong so it happened.
@amiablePeace77 yes guilt feelings seem to accompany being abused.
@soulsings
the second point is so powerful. Unfortunately i think it’s encoded but it’s nice to have that moment that we are wrong.
You unlikely know how which a statement resonates.
thank you soul
@amiablePeace77 you say nothing you just listen and offer hugs, make them know their not the only ones. Let them know they can talk to you and that their safe now ❤🙂
@Tinywhisper11
Totally agreed!💚
@amiablePeace77
What are things every childhood trauma survivor needs to hear? What do you like to let them know?
I am not sure you can put all these "survivors" in the same basket, because so many events can cause different traumas. Even the word 'survivor' is a catch-all that does not apply. Some children will "survive" a raging war because they could have died and almost did. A mistreated child's life was never in danger.
Some people are mentally stronger than others and do not see what happened to them as traumatic (often for cultural reasons) while others feel more impact. Traumas take different aspects and even those are on a spectrum.
One can also be "traumatized" by something which happened to someone else. Many children have witnessed lethal accidents or violence in which they never were involved.
The answers to this question are going to reflect which "traumas" seems important to the writer. Everyone of us has known events, good or bad, which have shaped our individual personalities.
I was 'traumatized" for a few years by Disney's Snow White - particularly the scene of the step-mother morphing into a cackling old witch. I was 6 years old, I think, and it took me a long time before I could go back to the movies with no apprehension. This is worth an "Awww! LOL" by now.
@Fradiga traumatised by some white😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I mean awwww bless you😂😂😂😂😂😂 yep that's why it's probably best not to say much just listen, wipe their tears and let them know their safe now ❤ hugs you tightly, you are safe now, snow white isn't around anymore ❤❤😁
@Fradiga I think you missed the part where it says sexual exploitation, abuse and violence. I don't say this lightly but I feel you are trying to minimize childhood trauma. What do you define as mistreatment?
@mytwistedsoul
You are right! I did not read the whole text, only the question because it was in a bigger font.
@mytwistedsoul
You are right that, to some extent, I see mistreatments and traumas on a scale and the personality of a child is going to play a role also there. As you know, I am an older woman who was raised when children did not have much recourse if mistreated at home. Sexual abuse is one form of abuse but all abuses leave traces, sometimes mental scars as well.
Mistreatment is anything disturbing or painful that makes one feel unsafe in the hands of another person.
@Fradiga I think all abuse leaves mental scars🙁 this topic is actually really starting to upset me, I should not read or write here anymore
@Fradiga I must admit when I read your reply I was offended to see you make light of it. Although I must also admit that at times the word trauma is misused or overgeneralized. All abuse leaves scars, some physical or mental, often both. Some scars can be deeper than other scars might be. Some people are better at hiding those scars (for various reasons), but that doesn't mean that the scars aren't there. And yes I agree that everything is on a spectrum. However, abuse, any abuse of any kind, is still abuse.
Children's brains are more vulnerable because they're still developing. Childhood trauma is often carried into adulthood and can last a lifetime. Causing not just mental health issues but physical health problems as well. Times and society have changed when it comes to child abuse. People are more aware and educated, more inclined to intercede. I'm hoping with a little more time it ceases to exist altogether because abuse in any form is unacceptable.
Thank you for better explaining.
respectfully please delete this
@amiablePeace77 actually asking questions to encourage them to talk more, that helps me ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Trauma survivors need to talk when they are ready to let it out.
@amiablePeace77 I know that, but sometimes it's embarrassing to say some things, and I just kinda blank and don't know what's ok to say. So sometimes it helps if they nudge you with a question, so you know what's ok to tell them ❤
@amiablePeace77
Yes I agree!!!
@amiablePeace77
What are things every childhood trauma survivor needs to hear?
I’d tell them things like:
- It’s ok. It’s over now.
- You got through this bc you’re strong enough to get through anything.
- I’m here for you.
If they wanted to tell me anything I’d let them get it all out by listening to them while they tell me what they want to
What do you like to let them know?
You can and will overcome it all. In fact I believe you’ve already done a great job starting that process!!!
Of course I’d hug them too ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@akunknown
Very supportive! I like the hug but tbh I would ask them first if it's okay. Some trauma survivors might get panic when feeling touch from others.
That’s me but I crave to be hugged by someone I could trust to let my guard down and take in the hug. But I panic when others touch me. It’s a double edge sword that’s forsure
@amiablePeace77
I hear you on that. I’d try to read them and if I read they’re ok with hugs or need them I’d give it to them and let it go when they tell me to. But if I have trouble reading them then yes I’d ask them first if it’s ok bc of your valid point
@amiablePeace77. If the person was abused sexually and violently by family members please respect their decision to not see those family members. Do not tell them to forgive and forget. Some may want to have a relationship with those family members (if they can do so safely) while others may not. Their decision should be respected.
@amiablePeace77
What are things every childhood trauma survivor needs to hear?
That's it's not your fault, that you shouldn't have been treated this way.
What do you like to let them know?
It gets better💚 it may take therapy, meds, support and a lot of effort, but it will eventually get better❤️
Coming from having to deal with a lot of this by myself in silence, I think it’s important to be reassured that we are safe and loved. Although I hear many tell me to forgive myself or to tell me I didn’t deserve this. At the end of the day the only thing I feel like I need is to be made to feel secure and safe. Even by presence. Then from there walls can come down
@amiablePeace77
Need to hear: It is important to know it's not your fault even if you feel or believe it is based on something that occurred.
Need to know: You can and should be able to build up trust with a compassionate caring person in time. You are a survivor!!!
