Day 20: Self-Compassion: How to Be Kind to Yourself
Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well. This post is part of the 25 Days of Gratitude, Self-Care, and Personal Growth event at 7 Cups.
Self-compassion is not selfish; it is essential for your well-being.
I understand that some days can be hard. You had a bad day, you are feeling sick, you feel like you are not good enough, you are failing and making mistakes. What do you tell yourself when you experience a situation like this?
Do you indulge in negative thoughts? Or practice self-compassion and kindness?
Different research conducted on this, reveals that the deliberate practice of self-compassion can alleviate anxiety, stress, and intrusive thoughts. Self-compassion plays a pivotal role in coping with stress.
However, it is easier said than done when you are struggling and feeling low. Instead, many of us become our worst critics, and it becomes a constant loop. But somewhere, you have to get started to break this cycle.
Here are some exercises that you may try to practice self-compassion deliberately:
Exercise #1. Self-Compassionate Letter
It is a powerful tool to practice self-kindness and understanding. It involves writing a letter to yourself, offering empathy and support, just as you would to a good friend. You can practice it as per your comfort either daily or weekly. Here is how you can do this:
- Write a letter to yourself as if you were a dear friend.
- Acknowledge your struggles and difficulties with kindness and understanding.
- Offer words of encouragement, support, and reassurance.
- Read the letter aloud to yourself, allowing the words to sink in.
Exercise #2. Self-Compassion Break
Whenever you feel stressed, take a moment to practice a self-compassion break and you may feel more confident and composed. Here is how you can practice it:
- When you notice you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, take a short break.
- Find a quiet place and sit comfortably.
- Take some comfortable deep breaths.
- Repeat a self-compassionate phrase, such as
- "This is a difficult moment, but I can handle it.",
- “It is okay to be not okay.”,
- “I believe in myself. I got this.”
- “I will get through this moment.”
Exercise #3. Gratitude Practice
Practicing gratitude regularly improves your mental health, strengthens your relationships, and increases your overall happiness. Here is how you can get started:
- Take a moment each day to reflect on what you are grateful for. It doesn’t need to be big ones. All small ones count too.
- This could be anything from your health to your relationships to simple pleasures.
- Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help boost your self-esteem and overall well-being.
- Never force yourself to be grateful. If you are struggling, share your challenges and what you are learning from them.
Questions for you
- How do you practice self-compassion?
- What is a barrier/ challenge that prevents you from practicing self-compassion?
@ASilentObserver
Lets go 🤠🤠🤠
@Uniquebutgood yayy, Unique. How you practice self compassion? Like to share some of your steps with us?
Thank you
@intellectualGrapefruit6085 thank you for being with us Grape. How would you practice self compassion? Please share with us.
Just posted it but not in this response because im a bit light headed and i make mistakes. Hope you see it
@ASilentObserver I did I’m still working on that
@dhabib you got this and we appreciate you for your efforts to do it. How are you practicing it?
@ASilentObserver I’m going very well it’s in quiet less noise resting more early
@ASilentObserver
pass on the first question
feels like a weakness and a free pass. How do you improve if are only kind to yourself?
second barrier, i don’t like me.
@LabeledBPD I hear you Labeled. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling, but please know self-compassion is not the same as self-indulgence. When we are kind to ourselves, we acknowledge our struggles and offer ourselves the same support and understanding we would offer a friend. And it doesn't mean we are ignoring our mistakes or avoiding challenges.
also please know self-acceptance is a journey, not a destination. It is totally okay to not like everything about yourself right now. It is not easy. But maybe you can focus on identifying and appreciating your some of the positive qualities, even the small ones. What do you think?
I try to practice self-compassion by giving myself some alone time in nature, or going for walks, meditating, trying to find things that make me happy. But I don't do a good job about it.
My barrier to self-compassion is my brain. It lies to me and tells me everything is bad and I struggle to not believe it.
@thoughtfulmomma this is good momma. you are on the right track with your self-compassion practices. I am glad you recognize the importance of self-care and taking the steps to do it.
@ASilentObserver
will definitely be making use of the 2nd exercise but these ere all great. thank you!
@Heather225 Thank you H. Please do share your experiences or any insights after you try the second exercise. We look forward to hearing your experiences.
@ASilentObserver
Thank you for this post Obs! It's so much needed for many of us to be reminded how important self-compassion is!
I practise self-compassion by reminding myself that mistakes happen, that I am not perfect and sometimes I just say to myself "It happened, it's done, I can't change it, let's see what I can do best now and how to learn from it for the future".
There were times I found it very hard to deal with the gossip about myself (being different) but I passed this so usually there are no barriers anymore. Very rarely the "bully voices" try to become loud to tell me bad things about myself, but I can shut them down now.
@amiablePeace77 Thank you Ami. I am glad you liked it. And it is fantastic. You have clearly made significant progress in developing and strengthening self-compassion. It is really wonderful how you acknowledge your imperfections and focus on learning and growth instead of dwelling on past mistakes.
@ASilentObserver
- How do you practice self-compassion?
this might be different then most here. but for me I have wrote letters of compassion to alters in system. letting them know that I understand them and what happened to them. also thank them for being there to help me. as i came to understanding that when i could handle no more and was about to go off the deep end in the abuse. they each became so they could take some of the pain. setting me free from that part of the abuse. this has helped us work as a team a lot. also helped us talk to each other a lot more too. another thing we did was move away from our abusers. we had people say that was selfishness due to parents being old. due to we should be there to help them and take care of them. but they really not accepted or understand at all. what we was living in.
What is a barrier/ challenge that prevents you from practicing self-compassion?
we say the biggest one is guilt not believing we deserve it. we been told all our life to put others first. to be there for others and forgive them forget what they done etc. so when we take time for self or do good things for self. we feel like guilty. due to we should be helping others doing things for them. so for many many years we put self needs last and did not show compassion at all for self and others in our system either. so even now it hard to take time for us and not feel guilty for doing it.
@stormieandpaws thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. it is really insightful and moving. Writing letters of compassion to your alters is a good way to acknowledge the strength they have and the trauma they endured. Recognizing and appreciating their role in protecting you is a much needed step towards healing and growth.
@ASilentObserver
your welcome as far as the cf self compassion care our parents' used the bible to tell us we to put others first. the it selfish to put self first. si feel guilty when we do. but am getting better at putting self first, but still hard for us to do. lots of things they use the bible against us. but we learning the truth of them verses. charging our thinking on them.
Hi everyone!
I love this post—thank you for sharing such helpful tools. I’ve been working on self-compassion, especially with a busy schedule and the pressure to always be “on.”
I practice self-compassion by reminding myself that I don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. When I mess up or feel like I’m not doing enough, I pause and try to talk to myself like I’d talk to a friend—gently, without judgment. Sometimes I say, “It’s okay, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”
I also lean on gratitude to shift my mindset. Whether it’s something small like a cozy blanket or big like the support of loved ones, it helps me refocus on what’s good instead of beating myself up.
Another thing I’ve found helpful is taking mini self-care breaks, even if it’s just deep breaths or a moment to step away from the chaos and reset. It’s amazing what a few kind words or a little break can do to change your whole outlook.
How do you all remind yourselves to be kind when it’s tough? Let’s share tips! 😊
@JustLikeMellie Thank you for sharing your experiences, Mellie and good to see you as well. You have clearly putting in a lot of effort to cultivate self-compassion and that is admirable.it is really nice that you are actively working on self-compassion, especially in today's busy world. If I can ask, what are some of the biggest challenges you face in consistently practicing self-compassion, and how do you overcome them?
@ASilentObserver I'll try this someday, thank you!! 💜
I used to read when overwhelmed but I don't have that much time today. That's what I make myself think but I'm sure I can start doing it again. I'd also like to spend more time in nature that would be amazing
@krisObservesStuff7 Of course, try what you can and know you have all of us here with you to support you. I understand and can relate that finding time for things we love can feel challenging in our busy lives. It is good that reading and connecting with nature were helpful for you and you are looking to practice them again. Perhaps you could start small. Maybe you can try even just 5-10 minutes a day to read?
