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Breaking free from the Resistance Loop

amiablePeace77 August 7th


Many of us will have experienced the feeling that we know something is good for us yet our brain resists accepting it. Resistance is something we all face daily when attempting to do something important. We are hardwired to stay with what gives us comfort and because we practise staying comfortable most of the time we strengthen this default thinking. This is why the habit of delaying or avoiding important tasks (procrastination), even when we know it will harm us in the long run, is so common.


Here are some ways that can help to get out of the loop of mental resistance:

1. Understand that resistance isn’t personal and affects everyone. It’s a natural part of our psychological processes, often arising when we encounter change or new ideas.

2. Body awareness. Physical sensations like muscle tensions, headaches or other symptoms of discomfort are often a sign of resistance. Be mindful of these changes in your body as they can provide valuable information about what’s happening internally.

3. Acceptance is powerful. Acknowledge that feeling uncomfortable with a new idea or situation is normal. Treat yourself particularly kindly during this time to move through the resistance with more ease. 

Remember, progress often involves pushing through resistance. By practicing these steps, you’ll build resilience and find more ease in navigating life’s challenges. 


Participation question

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept?

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop?


Helpful Videos:

Self  compassion, tips KrNeff

Body Scan - Jon Kabat-Zinn 


Helpful Resources:

How to Overcome Resistance (and Get What You Want in Life) 


Seeking Help 

Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges. 

Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation 

https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/

To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1


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amiablePeace77 OP August 7th

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2 replies

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept?

I tend to resist a lot. Lately I try to imagine giving my stresses to a higher power. I focus on letting go and trust. I tell myself it will work out as it should. I’ve been noticing that many times the thing I’m worried about has been going away on its own, so if I kept worrying it would be for nothing. That helps me worry a little less the next time.

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop?

I remind myself that I’m brave and can do it. When I feel I’m resisting and trying to run/hide) I try to do the opposite of my fear. I try to think of the benefits of how this will help me in the long run.

2 replies
amiablePeace77 OP August 13th

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

You seem to handle it very well. Positive and encouraging self-talk can be very helpful!

So sorry for the late reply to your post. 

1 reply

@amiablePeace77 Thank you ❤️ some days I handle it better than others. 


Oh I didn’t think you replied late at all. Thank you for always giving such sweet responses. I hope you are doing well.
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soulsings August 7th

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept? I try to see them from a different angle.

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop? I try to find some benefit for this thing. 

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP August 7th

@soulsings

A different angle can show much more as we can see from the initial position. It's like with photography - all over sudden there can be much more to see.

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alysianna August 7th

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept? time and support 

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop? sometime taking it outta but most of the time nothing as I am vary stubborn


2 replies
amiablePeace77 OP August 7th

@alysianna

It takes quite some strength to convince our stubborn minds to accept changes. I'm glad though that you reach out for support as well. 

1 reply
alysianna August 8th

@amiablePeace77

I try to my wont give me my  phone so I can only ask adults or my ppl I see at school if I a lucky 

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dhabib August 7th

@amiablePeace77 o have physical tensions also to the muscles knots it’s painful 


2 replies
amiablePeace77 OP August 9th

@dhabib

That's sounds really painful. Here are 2 videos about progressive muscle relaxation. I hope they help

Progressive muscle relaxation https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness12/

https://youtu.be/5q3K-6HvQIk?si=QcYAc4ngnUf-gdgt

2 replies
dhabib August 14th

@amiablePeace77 yes it is it bothers me it has fur a lifetime 

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP August 14th

@dhabib

I hope there are times when it hurts less so you get a break from the pain. 

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daydreammemories August 7th

@amiablePeace77

This was awesome and super helpful to read, thank you!

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP August 9th

@daydreammemories

Glad you found it helpful.


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akunknown August 11th

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept? 

Depends on what it is I’m finding it difficult to accept. For one example, the way society is now and how people treat each other and all the other negative realities we’re living in, I listen to music that deals with not wanting these realities to exist and want better changes. If what’s already out there in the music industry relating to this doesn’t satisfy me at all or not enough, I write my own song centered on this subject. 

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop?

Practice living out of that loop. Practice always helps make anything as close to perfect as humanly possible. 

4 replies
amiablePeace77 OP August 12th

@akunknown

It's impressive that you also write your own song. Do you also sing it?

No mastering without practise!

3 replies
akunknown August 12th

@amiablePeace77

Yes I do sing it despite *** at singing 😂 😂

2 replies
amiablePeace77 OP August 12th

@akunknown

Singing what you write can double the effect! 😀

1 reply
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BlueDarkAurora August 12th

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept? 

I let them be, avoid if possible. There are certain things that you just can't avoid so making peace with it is the only way forward sometimes. 

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop?

Hope for something better does. There's so many stories we can step into if we just take a step forward so sometimes you just have to trust :) 

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP August 12th

@BlueDarkAurora

Hope and trust can change a lot!

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NotAllHere713 August 13th

@amiablePeace77 

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept? It depends on the situation. In extreme cases, I freeze. My mind goes blank and I stop breathing. Sometimes I avoid things out of fear, even things I know I need to do I put off. 

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop? I haven't found a way to escape my resistance loop yet. I know how important the things I am avoiding are, but I am torn between fear and honestly, not caring. I have a therapist who is trying to work with me through some of my overarching issues, but its a process. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if I had some support outside of therapy. 

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP August 13th

@NotAllHere713

It must be hard for you knowing important things have to be done but you can't because you feel "frozen". It can be helpful to connect with a listener for a 1:1 chat share and maybe explore ways to see things from a different perspective. 

What are some thought provoking questions you could ask yourself when feeling stuck?

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CaringSub October 9th

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept?

I have choices, rightly or wrongly ( or somewhere in between), to  accept that hardship. I know- vague. But  things fluctuate on a daily basis, to not consider all options, I find, limits choices. It really depends.....

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop?

Resistance loop? 

10 replies
amiablePeace77 OP October 9th

@CaringSub

Reminding yourself that you have choices and being mindful to make the helpful ones is a great way to help yourself.

Resistance loop: When you feel caught up in the thoughts of resisting to do something

9 replies
CaringSub October 15th

@amiablePeace77

Reminding yourself that you have choices and being mindful to make the helpful ones is a great way to help yourself.  

My rebuff (with respect): I know I have choices. Choices is what has gotten me to where I am now, rightly or wrongly. For the second part of making helpful ones, etc. makes me 'cringe', as I feel it means I need to 'bend' down to what society wants. Again. If I did that, life might be easy-peasy along alot lines, but my internal self will suffer, due to 'bowing' to what society 'expects/wants' from me - whether carreer, identity, etc.

Resistance loop: When you feel caught up in the thoughts of resisting to do something

Answer: Because what I want to do, age, and massive debt are the ultimate resistence. No $$$, no do something. And that is my thruth.

7 replies
amiablePeace77 OP October 16th

@CaringSub

I apologize if I said something that made you cringe Caring. This was not my intention. Something I learned the hard way in dealing with people who did not accept me for who I am is that I cannot force them and being mindful (without bending down) often helps more than direct confrontation. I really hope things will get a turn for the better for you.

6 replies
CaringSub October 20th

@amiablePeace77

I respect your answer. Thank you. However, the more 'mindful' I become, the more I am letting go of who I am, just to appease society and the masses, and lose more of who I am. I 'submit' not because of enlightenment,etc,. but because I recognize I am tired. I am tired of fighting for having to defend my existence, even though it is law in my country.I can be as mindful to the farther reaches of the universe for mindfulness, but it does not change my everyday life.My real life really isn't as bad I think. My 7 Cups life, outside of 1 on 1 chats, is strife with conflict with Admins & leaders. I stick around here, as there are still LGBTQ+ people who are reaching out, albeut, harder to support now that the LGBTQ room is gone. Makes me feel things are going backwards on this platform. :(


My two cents (plus inflation - lol)


5 replies
soulsings October 20th

@CaringSub sorry for the loiss os the LGBTQ room. There is a way around this and that is to host regular LGBTQ discussions or open chats for LGBTQ. Have you considered that?

4 replies
CaringSub October 21st

@soulsings

I also lost my LGBTQ privleges in June. It would up to the LGBTQ leadership to do what you recommended. And of recent, there is only the Forum to post to. Reasons for closing the room by leadership was 'the room was empty'. I have seen other rooms empty too. And getting clear answers is replied with 'vagueness & vague policies'. There was no announcement, that I could see, that the room would be closing (though others have said there was a post on the Forum, asking/commenting on the room - which I still cannot find). 

As a result of this 'closure', it makes my job as a Listener more difficult to refer my chats to the platform, as supports for LGBTQ persons has been diminished in light the room closure.

Yes, the forum is still there. However, sometimes people want immediate social support, just as the other rooms provide. What other reason(s) was LGBTQ room chosen to close? As, like i said, other rooms sit empty too. I would just like 7 Cups to announce clearly & fully,  across all sites on their platform, why they chose to close LGBTQ room - good, bad and ugly. 

3 replies
soulsings October 21st

@CaringSub I hear you and how much this has disrupted your life. I hope that you can find a way around this.  I do not have the answer to your question. 


2 replies
CaringSub October 21st

@soulsings

It has only disrupted my life on 7 Cups, a platform I thought to be 'inclusive'. and to support fellow LGBTQ+/MOGII persons. It was my 'safe space'. Now, I'm not so sure, given the actions by the leadership.

My life outside of 7 Cups is manageable, albeit, with recent provincial legislation (trans youth) restrictions..........and growing..........I worry for the youth, the later coming out persons.

7 Cups had something going for them by having a 24/7 LGBTQ room - somewhere (kinda0 'safe'. Now that is gone. Except in pop up. At the descretion of the leader.

I stay hereonly to (hopefully) support any LGBTQ+/MOGII persons. Where ever they may be.

1 reply
soulsings October 21st

@CaringSub that is very kind of you to stay and support others.

Let me know ifyou hpave any ideas of how LGBTQ could be better served at 7 Cups and we can brain storm together.

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CaringSub October 16th

@amiablePeace77

I also resist because I have always been a 'rebellious' soul. And in alot of instances throughout my life, if I did not 'resist/rebel', I am sure I would have been sucked up into a life of misery.

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akunknown October 15th

@amiablePeace77

How do you deal with things you find hard to accept? That’s simple I just don’t accept them 😂😂😂😂😂  No seriously I distance myself from them whether it’s things or people. 

What helps you to get out of the resistance loop? Focusing my attention, energy, and everything else on something else, particularly something that’ll benefit me now and/or in the future. What that something else is specifically really depends on what time it is. Like if it’s early morning I’m not going to sleep again after just waking up 😂😂😂😂😂

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP October 16th

@akunknown

"if it’s early morning I’m not going to sleep again after just waking up" - 5 second rule! M. Robbins👍

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