Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to
I had already posted this message in other places on this thread. But since I'm seeing new messages and questions coming in- I'm posting the same message below again.
Dear all, its been a wonderful experience interacting with a lot of people across the world in our 7cups community through this thread which has now been running over two years. I regret to inform that I won't be able to respond to the posts here, going forward. I'm unable to dedicate adequate time to be able to do this and hence I request everyone's understanding. Warmth and strength to one and all !!
For all those who are seeking support- 7cups have multiple group support forums and one to one listening services.Also there are self help articles and resources available free on the website. Please do check them out if you'd like to. Big hugs to all!
How is tge weather tomorrow?
@lazyKatz
@Dawn04
How to get out of extreme boredness and disinterest sequence.
@Djos Well, there isn't a ready answer to that, but I can imagine how it must be pulling you down. Feeling confused about how to handle it is quite understandable. Going below the surface level and understanding what's actually causing this could help you address this better.
How can you support or help someone with depression,anxiety,anger ,probable trauma problems but refuses to go for professional help?
@adventurousBranch3786 Hmm, that's a tough one. It depends on how severe are the issues too. As friends or family, you could be empathetic and non judgemental in your approach with them and encourage them to open up to you. You could also try to understand what are their appprehenaions to take help, so that they can be addressed. You can check their willingness to join a support group and see what's their take on it. May be different people sharing similar problems can help them look within. There are quite a number of support groups on 7cups if you would like to check out. Willingness to help oneself needs to come at some point for therapy to work.
@SarahGeorgeDCS yes it's a hard one. Thanks for your reply.I am going to try listening more in an empathtic way. Hopefully this will allow him to blow off some steam and deescalate him instead of making things worse.Getting him to go to therapy will be a hard one. He also rejected a support group,but I will keep trying.Thanks for your help..
@adventurousBranch3786 Must say this person is blessed to have such amazing support system in you. Great job on being there for people who struggle with mental and emotional health. There are introspective articles as well under self help guides in here if he is open to reading. Could make him reflect a bit deeper.
Would telling yourself you're okay when you're not be considered healthy?
@ElisaBee Great question! There's a lot of buzz around "positive mental attitude" and definitely positive affirmations etc do help a lot as against negative self talk which can harm your emotional well being. However, if it becomes "denial" of whatever it is you're going through- it may not be the right approach. It is important to acknowledge the emotions you are feeling- whether they are comfortable or not. That is the first step towards addressing it.
@ElisaBee In my opinion, if you're not healthy then telling yourself you're okay could be extremely dangerous. How dangerous depends on what the health risk is.
Extensive research has shown beyond doubt that positive affirmations tend to be unhelpful or harmful. There's some detailed information about this here: Positive thinking I would very strongly suggest that positive thinking alone is a very bad idea if your health is at risk in some way.
In your profile you write about being sad and lonely, and you mention having panic attacks quite often. I can imagine that perhaps being sad, lonely and anxious makes it difficult to involve other people effectively in looking after your health.
I suppose it's possible that talking to a listener here at 7 Cups could be a way to approach a health concern realistically, without increasing your anxiety, and it might help you to feel less lonely. If you'd ever like to chat to me about these things, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me. I'll always reply as soon as I can.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie How wonderful is that for you to reach out!! Amazing work!
hi i have with anxiety and depression, i struggle with doing any school work and finishing my assignments on time. i have no motivation or will to do my work, ive asked some of my friends for help but the answer usually is that they have a goal in mind and want to achieve that, but with me even making goals dont work. i dont look forward to anything. im so behind on my school work because of this and i try to force myself to do work but all i do is stare at the screen. whats wrong with me?
@carefulDay2591 You mentioned you struggle with anxiety and depression, not sure whether these are clinically diagnosed or it's just the way you feel. The way to tackle depends on how severe is the issue. From what you shared- there is a strong sense of wanting to help yourself. You could capitalize on that attitude. I would suggest to get an evaluation done first to determine that, and then decide on further plan. If it is a motivation issue alone- you may have to get to it's bottom and understand your sources or motivation, any demotivators, see how alligned your goals are with interest levels, etc and get to a workaround slowly.
So I have been taking antidepressants prescribed by a psych for 3 years now and haven't made much of a progress. Hence I was thinking of opting for therapy . I have 2 options . One of the lady is a Life Coach / Confidence Coach , and another doc is a professional Psycho therapist . I am kinda confused which option should I go with . Can you give ur inputs ?
@calmsoulmeet Counseling or therapy can go well in hand along with medical support. It need not replace, but can supplement your treatment. What therapy you need will depend on what you are looking for from the therapy Vs the services the therapist offers. I'd say the rapport between therapist and client is a major factor in therapy being effective as well. So give it some thought - about what your are your expectations from therapy and then take a call. 7cups also do have therapy option if you would like to check out. All the best!!
@SarahGeorgeDCS - Have you left us? We miss you.
@cyanPlatypus6370 No no, I'm very much here.
@calmsoulmeet I agree with you that if antidepressants haven't worked, then therapy is an option worth trying.
I would imagine that someone who calls herself a life coach and confidence coach mostly works with people who are mentally well, to help them achieve their goals in life, and someone who is a psychotherapist mostly works with people who have a mental illness and want to recover.
If you've been prescribed antidepressants, then I assume you have been diagnosed as having clinical depression, a mental illness, and that would tend to make me think that the psychotherapist is more appropriate.
You could look at their websites, if they have websites, to find out more about what they do. Or you could call them both to confirm whether they have experience treating mental illness.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie Thank you . I will probably go with a psychotherapist . Appreciate your valuable input . :).
Hello,
Over the last couple of days, I have felt terrible. I have found it challenging to study and work. During last weekend I stayed home and lazed around while my family was out having fun. I have just felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out.
I think the reason I feel this way is that I learned that I hate myself. I am a queer person (which I accepted two years ago), but I still do not want to be. I dislike that I still desire to be straight, and I also hate the fact I tried so hard to convince myself I was straight.
The kicker to this is that I am part of a group project that requires lots of time and attention. I do not know if I can deal with the project and my classes while still dealing with self-hatred. I know I need to deal with the self-hatred to move on with my life, but I agreed to help with this project.
I am trying to decide whether it is ok to step away from the project so that I can focus on myself.
Thanks for any advice you can give,
@tallCircle1126 - Hi Tall :) If I have learned even one thing from 7cups as a whole, it is that: self-care is NOT selfish. Self-care is needed. When you care for yourself well, only then do you have energy to listen well or do things with or for others well. While you didn't say this, it sounds like you may have a hard time saying no. For me? I certainly have a hard time saying No, especially when I know the person well and I think 'well i could maybe fit that in if I move around this and that ...' That type of thinking is not helpful in the long run. I encourage you to step back (as needed) - like maybe do a smaller section of the project? - and take some of that time to care for yourself.
Because as someone I know rather well says, "A battery cannot give out what it does not have." Charge your batteries, dear Tall - take care of you! :) Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370
Thanks for your advice. I do have a hard time saying no. In this case, it feels so bad because my friends care deeply about the project. I will think about your advice thanks again!
@tallCircle1126 Yes, completely agree that self care is a priority and not a luxury. Denial and putting up a strong front can prevent you from addressing the underlying issues. The difficulty to say no is something many struggle with- assertiveness is a life skill which you may want to work on. Also, there seems to be self acceptance issues you are internally fighting with which needs attention. I want you to remember it takes strength and not weakness to be vulnerable . Take care of yourself !!
How much does online therapy costs? I don't want to give my information to this website before knowing if I can afford it.
@selfdisciplinedIdea2278 Hey its150$ per month. You can check out this link for detailed info. https://www.7cups.com/forum/7CupsOnlineTherapyInformationDiscussion_157/UpdatesInformationforpayingclientsrelatedtoonlinetherapy_988/7CupsTherapyGeneralInformationandFAQ_56593/
@selfdisciplinedIdea2278 Just so that you are clear- the link I shared- that's a forum discussion I just found, that members who have had similar queries. Basically, you'll get daily responses from your therapist on daily plan - 1 to 2 times on an average per day except on weekends. And you'll have unlimited messaging access ( on all days).
@SarahGeorgeDCS
Hi are you still taking questions? I have had a difficult upbringing, is the best therapy Counselling for previous issues, CBT for current anxiety and behavioural/ speech therapy for Aspergers helpful for dealing with complex issues?
@Fraboy101 Sure. Counseling / therapy can help you work on previous issues as well as current anxiety you're going through. CBT is one of the therapies, and yes it is useful for both these areas. I'm not an expert to comment on treatment for Aspergers - but yes a combination of different therapies -speech, CBT, vocational, etc and/or medication depending on the individual's challenges could be the way forward. Suggest to consult an expert to guide you with this !
@SarahGeorgeDCS
Is it too much to expect my psychologist to be the secure base to work on my insecure attachment from childhood?
You know, the attachment theory?
@UchihaAkiro90 This is something quite specific to your therapeutic relationship between you and your psychologist, and it won't be appropriate to comment on how it works. I would suggest you to be frank, and convey your expectations from therapy so that both of you can be on the same page.
@SarahGeorgeDCS
I wanna know if it exceeds therapeutic boundaries or should be role of therapist.
@UchihaAkiro90
Hello!
Are you looking for a Relational Therapist?
Relational Therapists help with those suffering from childhood trauma including insecure attachment and trust issues
(among many other issues as well)
Relational Therapists may specialize in Trauma.
I'm finding this type of therapy quite helpful.
@UchihaAkiro90 I know a few psychologists, and they are all different!
Some psychologists specialize in assessment and monitoring, and it is too much to expect them to work on anything else. It's just not what they are trained to do. However, they should be able to refer you to a therapist who can work with you on attachment issues.
Some other psychologists do work on issues in various ways. I don't know any psychologist who actually uses attachment theory as the basis of what they do, although I imagine every psychologist has heard of it.
If your psychologist is providing therapy (not just assessment and monitoring) then being a secure base is usually essential. Your question kind of implies that you have a psychologist who is not doing that, or not doing it effectively, and in that situation I suppose asking for a referral to a therapist who can be a secure base for you could be a way forward.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie
My psychologist works on schema therapy and cbt. Might even know emdr.
I dont know if she should be that secure base. Because if she should, I'm totally not feeling it. Aka she suck despite supposingly having at least 10years of experience.
@Fraboy101 My experience is limited, but I would say it's the other way around. People who market themselves as counsellors very often focus on the present ("the here and now" in counselling jargon). People who market themselves as CBT therapists should always consider upbringing and other previous issues (part of the "formulation" or "conceptualization" in CBT jargon). Behaviour therapists mostly market themselves as providing CBT, I've found, and then pretty much ignore the C part of it.
As far as I know, research has not found any substantial differences in effectiveness between the various different approaches. However, I've read that mixing parts of different approaches has been found to have worse outcomes. The key thing, according to the research, is to find a counsellor or therapist who you can relate to and who is strongly supportive of your way of thinking about yourself.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie
Thanks for the tip.. will look into it.
I was wondering if you had e some techniques for panic attacks when out in public. I don't have social anxiety but sometimes my panic attacks take place when I'm at school or something.
@bearbear2427 Some general tools and tips - you can find it online.. Won't be appropriate for me to get into therapeutic advice here.. But I'd say- may be there's a need to get to the bottom and work on what's it that's causing these panic attacks . Take good care or yourself !