Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to

@Djos Well, there isn't a ready answer to that, but I can imagine how it must be pulling you down. Feeling confused about how to handle it is quite understandable. Going below the surface level and understanding what's actually causing this could help you address this better.

@adventurousBranch3786 Hmm, that's a tough one. It depends on how severe are the issues too. As friends or family, you could be empathetic and non judgemental in your approach with them and encourage them to open up to you. You could also try to understand what are their appprehenaions to take help, so that they can be addressed. You can check their willingness to join a support group and see what's their take on it. May be different people sharing similar problems can help them look within. There are quite a number of support groups on 7cups if you would like to check out. Willingness to help oneself needs to come at some point for therapy to work.

@ElisaBee Great question! There's a lot of buzz around "positive mental attitude" and definitely positive affirmations etc do help a lot as against negative self talk which can harm your emotional well being. However, if it becomes "denial" of whatever it is you're going through- it may not be the right approach. It is important to acknowledge the emotions you are feeling- whether they are comfortable or not. That is the first step towards addressing it.

@ElisaBee In my opinion, if you're not healthy then telling yourself you're okay could be extremely dangerous. How dangerous depends on what the health risk is.

Extensive research has shown beyond doubt that positive affirmations tend to be unhelpful or harmful. There's some detailed information about this here: Positive thinking I would very strongly suggest that positive thinking alone is a very bad idea if your health is at risk in some way.

In your profile you write about being sad and lonely, and you mention having panic attacks quite often. I can imagine that perhaps being sad, lonely and anxious makes it difficult to involve other people effectively in looking after your health.

I suppose it's possible that talking to a listener here at 7 Cups could be a way to approach a health concern realistically, without increasing your anxiety, and it might help you to feel less lonely. If you'd ever like to chat to me about these things, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me. I'll always reply as soon as I can.

Charlie

@carefulDay2591 You mentioned you struggle with anxiety and depression, not sure whether these are clinically diagnosed or it's just the way you feel. The way to tackle depends on how severe is the issue. From what you shared- there is a strong sense of wanting to help yourself. You could capitalize on that attitude. I would suggest to get an evaluation done first to determine that, and then decide on further plan. If it is a motivation issue alone- you may have to get to it's bottom and understand your sources or motivation, any demotivators, see how alligned your goals are with interest levels, etc and get to a workaround slowly.

@calmsoulmeet Counseling or therapy can go well in hand along with medical support. It need not replace, but can supplement your treatment. What therapy you need will depend on what you are looking for from the therapy Vs the services the therapist offers. I'd say the rapport between therapist and client is a major factor in therapy being effective as well. So give it some thought - about what your are your expectations from therapy and then take a call. 7cups also do have therapy option if you would like to check out. All the best!!

@calmsoulmeet I agree with you that if antidepressants haven't worked, then therapy is an option worth trying.

I would imagine that someone who calls herself a life coach and confidence coach mostly works with people who are mentally well, to help them achieve their goals in life, and someone who is a psychotherapist mostly works with people who have a mental illness and want to recover.

If you've been prescribed antidepressants, then I assume you have been diagnosed as having clinical depression, a mental illness, and that would tend to make me think that the psychotherapist is more appropriate.

You could look at their websites, if they have websites, to find out more about what they do. Or you could call them both to confirm whether they have experience treating mental illness.

Charlie

@tallCircle1126 - Hi Tall :) If I have learned even one thing from 7cups as a whole, it is that: self-care is NOT selfish. Self-care is needed. When you care for yourself well, only then do you have energy to listen well or do things with or for others well. While you didn't say this, it sounds like you may have a hard time saying no. For me? I certainly have a hard time saying No, especially when I know the person well and I think 'well i could maybe fit that in if I move around this and that ...' That type of thinking is not helpful in the long run. I encourage you to step back (as needed) - like maybe do a smaller section of the project? - and take some of that time to care for yourself.

Because as someone I know rather well says, "A battery cannot give out what it does not have." Charge your batteries, dear Tall - take care of you! :) Platy

@tallCircle1126 Yes, completely agree that self care is a priority and not a luxury. Denial and putting up a strong front can prevent you from addressing the underlying issues. The difficulty to say no is something many struggle with- assertiveness is a life skill which you may want to work on. Also, there seems to be self acceptance issues you are internally fighting with which needs attention. I want you to remember it takes strength and not weakness to be vulnerable . Take care of yourself !!

@selfdisciplinedIdea2278 Hey its150$ per month. You can check out this link for detailed info. https://www.7cups.com/forum/7CupsOnlineTherapyInformationDiscussion_157/UpdatesInformationforpayingclientsrelatedtoonlinetherapy_988/7CupsTherapyGeneralInformationandFAQ_56593/

@selfdisciplinedIdea2278 Just so that you are clear- the link I shared- that's a forum discussion I just found, that members who have had similar queries. Basically, you'll get daily responses from your therapist on daily plan - 1 to 2 times on an average per day except on weekends. And you'll have unlimited messaging access ( on all days).

@Fraboy101 Sure. Counseling / therapy can help you work on previous issues as well as current anxiety you're going through. CBT is one of the therapies, and yes it is useful for both these areas. I'm not an expert to comment on treatment for Aspergers - but yes a combination of different therapies -speech, CBT, vocational, etc and/or medication depending on the individual's challenges could be the way forward. Suggest to consult an expert to guide you with this !

@Fraboy101 My experience is limited, but I would say it's the other way around. People who market themselves as counsellors very often focus on the present ("the here and now" in counselling jargon). People who market themselves as CBT therapists should always consider upbringing and other previous issues (part of the "formulation" or "conceptualization" in CBT jargon). Behaviour therapists mostly market themselves as providing CBT, I've found, and then pretty much ignore the C part of it.

As far as I know, research has not found any substantial differences in effectiveness between the various different approaches. However, I've read that mixing parts of different approaches has been found to have worse outcomes. The key thing, according to the research, is to find a counsellor or therapist who you can relate to and who is strongly supportive of your way of thinking about yourself.

Charlie

@bearbear2427 Some general tools and tips - you can find it online.. Won't be appropriate for me to get into therapeutic advice here.. But I'd say- may be there's a need to get to the bottom and work on what's it that's causing these panic attacks . Take good care or yourself !