Distortion 2. Mind Reading
Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. In our learning about cognitive distortions series, today we will tackle ‘Mind reading’. If you have not taken part in the catastrophizing post, please do so here
Mind reading like the name suggests is when we assume we know what someone else is thinking and are convinced that it is the case and there is no real verification/fact checking of it. It is important to acknowledge that this is not all bad, at some level mind reading can help us read a situation like when your friend smiles, you know they liked your joke. Similarly, if someone’s jaw drops we can tell they are surprised. But these ‘assumptions’ are based on something more concrete like a physical action and are not negative. It becomes a problem when we have nothing to base our assumptions on and they are negative in nature.
Examples of Mind reading:
- I failed this test, my teacher must think I am so stupid
- I was late to my friend’s birthday. He must think I don’t care for him enough to show up on time
- I was supposed to get the callback yesterday from my job application, but the interviewer must have failed me.
- My partner has been quieter than usual, he must have gotten fed up with me.
To help us reframe this distortion, we will use the same techniques as the last post! These techniques can help you reframe all sorts of distortions and repeatedly practicing with them can help us get in the habit of using these models.
📢Points of Action:
- Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post)
- Counter your mind-reading thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in mind reading and what actually ended up happening?
Examples
- I thought my friend was mad at me but it turns out he was just having a rough day
- I thought my teacher hated me but I misread her firm approach as personal dislike. It turns out her firm approach helped me get a better grade.
Further Reading/Recommended Resources
How to stop worrying and start living chapter 4
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@Hope
im not sure if doing this right but
Stressful thought - im realy struggling with stuff in school rn n i cant keep up
Counter thought - lots of ppl struggle with stuff n im not alone
(idk if thats maybe wrong?)
@Hope thank you again for an informative article.
Stressful thought: My husband is quiet the whole day. He must be angry with me, maybe he does not love me anymore.
Counter thought: My husband is quiet the whole day. Maybe he is tired or his belly hurts again. I need to ask him about that.
The article got me thinking. Sometimes I do the counter thinking automatically, sometimes I do not (mainly when I'm depressed). I will try to be more mindful about it.
@mish3l
Thank you for partaking in the exercise. I think practicing deliberately may help you use counter thoughts more often and more effectively.
@mish3l This is what i was thinking as well. I also do the ciunter thinking automatically sometimes!
@Hope
Negative thought- My irl friend has been distant from me since days or weeks maybe he doesn’t like my anymore and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore
Positive thought- (idk 🤷♀️ help?)
@tidyHickory3283
Tidy you can best do it as it needs to be something you truly believe. Perhaps your friend is struggling, maybe they got busy. This is not necessarily related to something you did or you in general.
@Hope
hmm I don’t think this is necessarily something that I will believe in easily. But I will try to think of something
@Hope Thank you so much for shedding some light on this topic. This is a wonderful exercise, and it works. Just that it doesn't quite work if I'm reading my mother's mind because I have seen her every single day of my life and I know her a bit too well.
Talking about a time when I read somebody's mind but turned out to be wrong, a classmate of mine who usually talks to be was not talking much on one particular day. I though I had done something to upset her, but turned out she was just feeling unwell.
@Hope
I accidentally bumped into this post but i'm glad I did. Thank you for sharing this Hope.
Catastrophizing can be challenging to deal with because we tend to predict the worst possible outcomes. This not only involves predicting negative outcomes but can also erode our self-esteem, self-confidence, and even lead to self-hatred.
@Hope
Negative thought - I haven't heard from (insert name here) for quite a few days. They must be tired of me or don't care anymore
Counter thought - they're just busy. I know they have a lot going on right now too
This is harder than I thought it would be. My mind seems to want to think the worst of me and stays stuck on the thought that I'm the problem
This is so true, my hit rate is so bad because I'm autistic and can't read emotions even if my life depended on it XDD
Stressful though :
My friend doesn't like physical touch from anyone else than her boyfriend. She doesn't love me anymore
Counter thought:
My friend is on my period, she still loves me but she needs space right now
@Hope
stressed thought: i havent heard from any friends today, they must hate me, I wonder what I did wrong?
counter thought: I haven't heard from any friends today, they are probably busy. They will see if I have texted, and if I don't get a reply tmr I can ask if they are alright
@Hope
@Hope
Thank you so much for this article