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Distortion 2. Mind Reading
Hope October 12th, 2023
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Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. In our learning about cognitive distortions series, today we will tackle ‘Mind reading’. If you have not taken part in the catastrophizing post, please do so here

Mind reading like the name suggests is when we assume we know what someone else is thinking and are convinced that it is the case and there is no real verification/fact checking of it. It is important to acknowledge that this is not all bad, at some level mind reading can help us read a situation like when your friend smiles, you know they liked your joke. Similarly, if someone’s jaw drops we can tell they are surprised. But these ‘assumptions’ are based on something more concrete like a physical action and are not negative. It becomes a problem when we have nothing to base our assumptions on and they are negative in nature. 


Examples of Mind reading:

  • I failed this test, my teacher must think I am so stupid
  • I was late to my friend’s birthday. He must think I don’t care for him enough to show up on time
  • I was supposed to get the callback yesterday from my job application, but the interviewer must have failed me. 
  • My partner has been quieter than usual, he must have gotten fed up with me. 


To help us reframe this distortion, we will use the same techniques as the last post! These techniques can help you reframe all sorts of distortions and repeatedly practicing with them can help us get in the habit of using these models. 

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📢Points of Action:

  1. Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post)
  2. Counter your mind-reading thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. 

⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.

⭐ When was the last time you engaged in mind reading and what actually ended up happening?

Examples 

  • I thought my friend was mad at me but it turns out he was just having a rough day
  • I thought my teacher hated me but I misread her firm approach as personal dislike. It turns out her firm approach helped me get a better grade. 


Further Reading/Recommended Resources

How to stop worrying and start living chapter 4



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Hope OP October 12th, 2023
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Tagging everyone who signed up to be tagged. 

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@Hopeandforgiveness

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DarkerPlaces October 13th, 2023
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@Hope

im not sure if doing this right but

Stressful thought - im realy struggling with stuff in school rn n i cant keep up

Counter thought - lots of ppl struggle with stuff n im not alone 

(idk if thats maybe wrong?)

mish3l October 12th, 2023
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@Hope thank you again for an informative article.

Stressful thought: My husband is quiet the whole day. He must be angry with me, maybe he does not love me anymore.

Counter thought: My husband is quiet the whole day. Maybe he is tired or his belly hurts again. I need to ask him about that.

The article got me thinking. Sometimes I do the counter thinking automatically, sometimes I do not (mainly when I'm depressed). I will try to be more mindful about it.

Hope OP October 13th, 2023
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@mish3l

Thank you for partaking in the exercise. I think practicing deliberately may help you use counter thoughts more often and more effectively. 

xmoonsie16x0 October 31st, 2023
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@mish3l This is what i was thinking as well. I also do the ciunter thinking automatically sometimes! 

tidyHickory3283 October 12th, 2023
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@Hope

Negative thought- My irl friend has been distant from me since days or weeks maybe he doesn’t like my anymore and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore

Positive thought- (idk 🤷‍♀️ help?)

Hope OP October 13th, 2023
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@tidyHickory3283

Tidy you can best do it as it needs to be something you truly believe. Perhaps your friend is struggling, maybe they got busy. This is not necessarily related to something you did or you in general.

tidyHickory3283 October 18th, 2023
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@Hope

hmm I don’t think this is necessarily something that I will believe in easily. But I will try to think of something 

exuberantBlackberry9105 October 14th, 2023
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@Hope Thank you so much for shedding some light on this topic. This is a wonderful exercise, and it works. Just that it doesn't quite work if I'm reading my mother's mind because I have seen her every single day of my life and I know her a bit too well.

Talking about a time when I read somebody's mind but turned out to be wrong, a classmate of mine who usually talks to be was not talking much on one particular day. I though I had done something to upset her, but turned out she was just feeling unwell.

Hope OP October 15th, 2023
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@exuberantBlackberry9105

I agree, not always our predictions are wrong but that's okay! Life is not all great. However, it does help to acknowledge the times we are wrong so we can be kinder to ourselves when the next unpleasant thought gets stuck in our head

pandanfe October 15th, 2023
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@Hope

I accidentally bumped into this post but i'm glad I did. Thank you for sharing this Hope.

Catastrophizing can be challenging to deal with because we tend to predict the worst possible outcomes. This not only involves predicting negative outcomes but can also erode our self-esteem, self-confidence, and even lead to self-hatred. 

Hope OP October 16th, 2023
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@pandanfe

Agreed consistent faults in our thinking can really snowball and create more issues

mytwistedsoul October 16th, 2023
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@Hope

Negative thought - I haven't heard from (insert name here) for quite a few days. They must be tired of me or don't care anymore

Counter thought - they're just busy. I know they have a lot going on right now too

This is harder than I thought it would be. My mind seems to want to think the worst of me and stays stuck on the thought that I'm the problem 



Hope OP October 16th, 2023
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@mytwistedsoul

It is indeed hard but you did great! The more you do it, the easier it gets

smolLITTLEpotato October 17th, 2023
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This is so true, my hit rate is so bad because I'm autistic and can't read emotions even if my life depended on it XDD


Stressful though :

My friend doesn't like physical touch from anyone else than her boyfriend. She doesn't love me anymore


Counter thought:

My friend is on my period, she still loves me but she needs space right now

Hope OP October 17th, 2023
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@smolLITTLEpotato

That is a great example, acknowledging her own needs and recognizing that the action has not much to do with you on a personal level

AvyIsKing October 22nd, 2023
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@Hope

stressed thought: i havent heard from any friends today, they must hate me, I wonder what I did wrong?

counter thought: I haven't heard from any friends today, they are probably busy. They will see if I have texted, and if I don't get a reply tmr I can ask if they are alright

Hope OP October 23rd, 2023
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@AvyIsKing

Excellent way of looking at the situation. How did it end up working out with your friends?

electricRiver708 June 29th
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@Hope

electricRiver708 June 29th
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@Hope

Thank you so much for this article

delightfulUnicorn38 August 16th
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@Hope

Thanks for sharing 

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