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'Man's search for Meaning' A reflection

Hope September 4th, 2020

Hi everyone, a while ago @GlenM recommended a book called ‘Mans Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It is a book written by a psychiatrist who experienced great struggles in his life, I will avoid the details of the struggles to avoid triggering anyone. If you are interested in the background of the author then please read more here.

I finally got around to reading it last week and Glen encouraged me to share the findings and summary of the book with the community so in this post I will try to explain the main takeaways of the book and how it may be applied to our community in some contexts. It is okay if you personally disagree with some of the claims of the book but nevertheless, it makes some interesting points and I find it worth reading. If you are interested, you can find the book here.

Key takeaways from the book

1) To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering

When we look at life whether it is ours or someone else's, we find a lot of suffering so it can be argued that there exists no life without a certain level of suffering. So it is unreasonable to try and avoid all possible suffering and instead the goal is to find meaning in our suffering. However, this purpose can not be found by simply asking someone else. You have to look at your own life and find the purpose in your own suffering. An example of this can be school, some people truly believe that a school is a form of suffering for them yet they manage to do well because they find meaning in the suffering and know that they go to school for a reason and that it is not pointless.

2) One who knows ‘Why' can bear any ‘how'

It's a powerful statement to make, but isn't that how life goes? If you have a firm ‘why' you can bear any ‘how'. Let's look at the community, we are a community of people who are striving to support those in need of a listening ear. In this scenario, our ‘Why' is that we are here to provide support but our ‘How' differs and changes. So you see people who are incredibly busy in their lives, are studying and have a job yet they find the ‘how' and continue to dedicate their time and efforts because they have a firm ‘why'. They believe in the mission and are open to any ‘how'.

3) The Meaning of Life

I will quote the book here as the author answers this question in a way that no summary can do it justice ‘The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment. To put the question in general terms would be comparable to the question posed to a chess champion: "Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?" There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game and the particular personality of one's opponent. The same holds for human existence. One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

It does make you think what is the meaning of life at this very moment? And that somehow makes the question much less daunting. You don't have to figure your whole life, you just have to focus on the present moment.

4) Man should not ask what the meaning of his life is

I know it's confusing to hear this right after the above statement but bear with me! The book states ‘As each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reversed. Ultimately, a man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to the life, he can only respond by being responsible.

This observation in particular is more difficult to understand and understandably so but at the same time, it helps you focus on the now and leaves you in the mindset of wanting to be more responsible and viewing life expectations in a new light. If we apply this to 7 Cups, at times we focus on the bigger questions like ‘What is the ideal 7 Cups' and maybe while asking that question, we can also ask ourselves, what can we do to in this very moment, in this present to make the platform get closer to its ideal self? Instead of focusing on what the site could improve on, maybe we can focus on what we can do to improve the area we are passionate about. Just a thought!

5) You have the freedom to choose your attitude

The book states ‘everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Life is filled with challenges and at times less than ideal situations and it can be so easy to complain about the situation and focus on all the negatives but the real courage is in acknowledging that you have the freedom to choose your attitude towards the situation and once we realize that, it all seems somehow more manageable.

6) Success & Happiness can not be pursued as the main target

The book insists that the more you aim to be successful and the more you pursue happiness, the more unlikely it is for you to achieve it. Sounds like a bold claim at first so let me also quote the exact lines ‘"Don't aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run—in the long run, I say! —success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it."

This statement may be controversial to some but I agree with it, to me this means that you can't reach for shortcuts but you have to put in the work. You have to find something greater than yourself that you can dedicate your efforts to. You need to live a certain way and success and happiness find you even if you are not looking for it.

7) Live as if you were living already for the second time

Think about it, with practice we get better at things and we start to realize what truly matters. The book says ‘Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!" when we look at life as we were living it for the second time, somehow the priorities become clearer. You feel more motivated to pursue your dreams, give more time to your loved ones, and the desire to chase after materialistic success seems to matter less.

There are more lessons in the book so I recommend reading it yourself. It can be easy to think about all the negativity in the world and lose your way in life but I believe this book helps you feel more grounded and allows you to see the world with a fresh perspective.

enlightenedWhat do you think about the teachings of this book? Would you like to read this book?

10 Things Mentally Strong People Give Up to Gain Inner Peace | Inc.com

21
JaimieF September 5th, 2020

I loved this book!

I have a quote from it on my business cards:

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task."

1 reply
Hope OP September 6th, 2020

@JaimieF

I love that line. Thank you for sharing!

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incognitoknight0101 September 5th, 2020

@Hope Thank you for the awesome thread :)

I found this book few months back. For me this book is very inspiring and thought-provoking. Few of the statements made are very deep. I coundn't resist agreeing with him.

I would like to share few lines which I loved from this book :-

"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you posses except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you."

Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.

But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.

No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.​​​​​​​

Everywhere man is confronted with fate, with the chance of achieving something through his own suffering.​​​​​​​

1 reply
Hope OP September 6th, 2020

@incognitoknight0101

Thank you for sharing your favorite bits! I agree, it's almost a poetic experience.

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RarelyCharlie September 5th, 2020

@Hope I think this is an interesting book that mixes fantasy and reality in an interesting way. Frankl was good at writing the kind of things that people like to read, but they are not necessarily true things.

For example, although Frankl did experience, as you delicately put it, "great struggles in his life", the struggles he describes in the book are not all struggles that he actually experienced himself. And other things Frankl has claimed have turned out to be fantasy, too, but they are the kind of fantasy that people like to believe in.

What do you think about the teachings of this book?

I'm not impressed. Frankl makes sweeping statements without evidence. Other commentators have remarked on Frankl's tendency to be grandiose and authoritarian, and I tend to agree.

By the way, the first two quotes are by Nietzsche (and Frankl does acknowledge their source).

Would you like to read this book?

I have read it, and I didn't like it.

Part I is deeply unpleasant and based on a lie (although, to be fair, Frankl openly admits this in the very first line). Part II is not very believable.

I've just reviewed it more fully here: Mans Search for Meaning

Charlie

1 reply
Hope OP September 6th, 2020

@RarelyCharlie

Thank you for sharing your feedback and for making an in-depth review on it. I think our point of view of books can be quite subjective so it is good to see an opposing view. I still like the book for many of its principles shared but I can see how some may perceive a part of it as 'fantasy. Thank you for crediting the quotes, I missed that!

PatienceImpatiens July 27th, 2023

@RarelyCharlie Looked for your review, couldn't find it (read the whole thread)---- did I skip over it by accident. Can you message it to me.

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Niki805 September 5th, 2020

@Hope

I would love to red this book.

FerociousFury September 6th, 2020

okay let's eat pizza over it

7motivation September 10th, 2020

@Hope

Hi. Although I only heard the Viktor Frankl book 9 minute summary here:

(don't view if you have any trigger issues) http://nicertube.com/nityfi

I agree and appreciate that all of the following are very important:

finding helplful meaning

being aware of one's mindsets of what things mean in different contexts

picking helpful mindsets that enables growth rather than creates limitations

not mindlessly living by unhelpful mindsets, thinking, and ways of perceiving

not getting upset due to mindset but instead change mindset so it is helpful


Regarding your key takeaways list, my comments are below each point:

1) To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering

... I think we cause much of our own suffering.

2) One who knows ‘Why can bear any ‘how

... I think people have a great drive to understand and people get very upset when they don't understand or can't mentally cope.

3) The Meaning of Life

... I think we all have to determine meaning of and in our lives and world and how we want to interpret things give the valid options and the mental frameworks we find most helpful.

4) Man should not ask what the meaning of his life is

...See 3 above.

5) You have the freedom to choose your attitude

... I think the ability to choose attitude can be tricky given how complicated the brain works.

6) Success & Happiness can not be pursued as the main target

... I think that success and happiness are more likely to be gotten by focusing on process and action in the moment rather than the goal or ideal outcome.

7) Live as if you were living already for the second time

... I think it's good to look back on life experiences and learn from them and rewrite one's narrative with the context of the learnings.

shellofashell June 5th, 2021

@Hope Hi. Thankyou so much for taking the time to put this together for us. This was just the sort of thing I needed to read this morning.

SparklyFly December 9th, 2022

I bought this book years ago and was astonished at Viktor Frankl's experience and how he made it through. I love it and highly recommend it.

Hansamu January 2nd, 2023

@Hope

Thanks for sharing. I like how u elaborate things. Surely i will bought the book and read it myself.

Sleepwalkermw March 16th, 2023

@Hope

I just bookmarked this... I think I will be coming back to this post more than once.

Thank you so much for this summary. I haven't read something this deep and inspiring in a while. Much appreciated! ❤️