Profile Pics on 7Cups - Staying Safe Online
Hey Everyone!
Misty Here!
I am writing this discussion post because of the importance of choosing the safest profile picture that you can!
This applies equally to members and listeners.
I am a mentor here at 7Cups and part of the welcoming team too so I have a lot of new listeners and members that contact me.
Sadly a lot of these people that are new to 7Cups have problems caused by their profile pictures, that could easily be avoided.
We all know that it is very important to stay anonymous on 7Cups and one area that we need to be careful about is choosing the right picture.
I know that there are threads that have already been written, one in fact was written almost 4 years ago to the day but the internet has changed since then. We all know about internet safety, or we think we do! But do we really?
Basically remember that anything posted online stays online.
So let's use that and discuss profile pictures and how to choose a safe one?
Q. What is a 'safe display picture'
-
A picture that cannot be traced.
Did you know that it is possible to take a picture and trace it back to where it came from?
So please, think about that for a moment.
Do you really want some internet stalker turning up outside your the front door of your home?
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A picture that does not reveal your true identity
Imagine that you share your true mental health problems and then your boss reads your thread
and sees the picture and recognises you?
-
A picture that has not been used anywhere else on the internet ever!
You take a lovely selfie and post it to your social media accounts. You are proud of it. You want everyone to see how beautiful you are and how clever at taking selfies. You use it as your profile picture on 7Cups and then start sharing about your problems with your relationship, next thing you know your whole family recognise the picture and know all about your personal problems.
Q. But I want to show how attractive I am, lots of other people show their faces why shouldn't I?
💡You can of course! In fact a lot of 7Cups guidelines appear to encourage the use of a face picture! (but perhaps those suggestions should carry safety warnings or be amended to reflect the current state of internet safety). However, please bear in mind all the points above and then also these:-
❌Sometimes people join us here and they are bullies or unkind people and they like to target those that are new or inexperienced.
They will look at the picture and maybe even actively seek out people to target.
Choosing an anonymous picture can help to limit the possibility of this happening.
Instead of a young blonde female they see a picture of a daisy or a cat.
Instead of an attractive male they see a picture of a wolf.
⭐For New Listeners in particular- consider this point whilst you gain experience of handling different chat scenarios. Do you really need to have a pretty picture and your gender in your profile, and say you will listen to anything? Wouldn't you rather know that those things weren't why you were contacted?
Q. If this is all true then surely this applies to ALL pictures we post on 7Cups then?
✅YES YES YES! posting pictures of our own dogs or cats or Christmas tree can leave us all open to taunting, personal attacks, bullying or worse, tracking and stalking.
Q. Ok, so if it applies to all pictures what about other details in our profiles? Are they safe?
- We all need to take responsibility for our own safety online.
- Any details we give should still allow us to remain anonymous, so please think carefully.
- Giving some personal details may help people reach out to you because of shared experiences but also they may attract the wrong people and unwanted attention.
- People often think that they are safe if they only give out tiny bits of information here and there but that adds up and up and up.
Q. So what can I do if something goes wrong? How do I get help here?
- 7 Cups works hard to keep everyone safe.
- There are three Community Managers @Heather225 @ASilentObserver @Hope
- You can email community@7cups.com
- You can change your profile in your Settings (use the browser version www.7cups.com then top right profile settings)
Safety is Your Responsibility Too!
Profile Picture Policy changed October 14th 2019 see This Thread
Listening .... One Step At A Time
@MistyMagic
Thank you for sharing! This is very important :)
@MistyMagic Wonderful information. Everyone must read this and follow it. This is not just for 7Cups , but for all other websites too. Stalkers and everywhere. and the more we make our personal life public, the more we are vulnerable. So let's take some time to think before posting anything anywhere.
Once again thanks for taking your time and writing this post 
@MistyMagic THIS should be compulsory reading for everyone here. Thanks, MistyMagic!
When is this going to be changed?:
"Please choose a head shot (picture of your face), nature scene, art/symbol/image (i.e, Hope), or animal. Please do not include pictures of famous people, sexually suggestive pics, or cartoon pics. You must be fully clothed in your picture. The goal of the picture is to express warmth, compassion, and kindness. Images must be in JPG, GIF or PNG format and less than 5MB. Thank you!"
Thanks everyone for sharing your views!
I am really pleased so many of you have taken the time to pm me and respond here, so thank-you.
I was going to add the exact wording that our new listeners face when they first join because it suggests using a face pic, as I feel that maybe for new joiners isn't that really a little irresponsible?
I realise that 7Cups couldn't add a disclaimer underneath either, although there are other disclaimers around.
I am not scaremongering.
These problems are real.
They exist.
They happen every week here.
I am just trying to provide information about how everyone, but importantly how new listeners and new members can stay safer online. My personal view is that perhaps only admins and ambassadors should be able to have face shots. Or maybe those that have been here a long time and are strong enough and experienced enough. After all, we are supposed to be anonymous aren't we?
But I am not talking about hiding, or not taking a risk. I am talking about taking responsibility for your own safety online!
Let's have a look at a few real experiences -
- Some of the people I talk to here are being hurt badly. They use 7Cups to seek support anonymously. Sometimes the person that is hurting them takes their phone and then finds their 7Cups account and then MistyMagic. Why would I want my picture giving them a clue to who I am or what I am or where I am?
- A new member is getting harassed because her old boyfriend tracked her down by searching where her pictures were being used.
- A new listener gets accused of being robotic and not real so she adds a picture. Now she gets unwanted sexual conversations, and ends up crying and leaves in distress.
But I am trying to enlighten, not dishearten.
Those of us that have been at 7Cups any length of time will have come across these problems and will have already made an informed decision.
So if I have helped just one person stop and think, or maybe spread this information about being safer online then I feel that will have done a good job. 
Listening .... One Step At A Time
This. 100 times this.
If you don't want to hide, then don't hide. But know that these problems exist.
Staying safe is always an option. And it is possible to help people without showing your face. Of course, you can show your face if you want! But at your own risk. It's crucial that you have really strong boundaries and self-confidence to deal with possible issues. Some listeners need more experience and to grow a thicker skin to deal with harassment and unwanted sex chat solicitations.
And the "if you don't have a photo, you're a robot" argument is more than invalid. It's mind-boggling how easy it is to create spam and bot accounts with photos of real people found on Google. And not only on 7 Cups, it's everywhere in social media. It's a global issue, the Internet is changing, it's changing fast. So it's important to protect ourselves, that's all.
If you're consistent, professional and kind, people who are here because they truly need emotional support will trust you and confide in you. And that's all that matters.
Stay safe!
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Hey @MistyMagic
I think you have valid points here, and also points that I respectfully disagree with. I love the fact we are spreading awareness about these subjects, that may otherwise go unknown. It is always great to be informed, so that we can make an informed decision rather than acting before we think.
With only admins and ambassadors having access to putting their pictures on their profile, I respectfully disagree - I feel like much like everywhere else on the internet, it is up to us to have the choice. Of course, there are still boundaries within this, and if there's anything inappropriate than i'm sure our wonderful team on here would be able to figure out a solution.
I personally think that everybody should have the choice on whether or not they use an actual picture, or one they find online. As Charlie mentioned above, I truly believe that the risk of being traced is very low - and that there are much higher risks. Everything we do online, can be traced if somebody wished to and had resources - so although we may feel like our profile picture has a lot to do with it, it really isn't that bad. I think it's also important to remember what everybody says, if you don't want others to know its best not to put it on social media. Social Media is not private. Sure, we are on an anonymous site, but everything can be traced back to us - through out IP Address, Emails, Names, there is lots of ways. So sure, not everybody knows this information and we can still maintain our safety but if we are that worried about somebody finding out, than I think it's more than just a profile picture.
I also think it's different, in my opinion, for members and listeners. I would never place a picture of myself on my member account, because I place personal information on there - now I am aware that regardless of whether I post a picture or not, people could still trace me, but at the end of the day I like knowing that not everyone would know (i.e other listeners). However, on my listener account I would never publish anything that I would hate people seeing. I see the Listeners Role, as a more professional role and although I am myself, I am a restricted version of myself and the information I share usually is shared with those around me in my life, or if not - could easily be shared with a conversation.
Once again, I don't think it necessarily is all about a profile picture in this instance. Of course, its great to know the dangers but 7 Cups Profile's have the same dangers as all other Public Social Media Profiles, therefore I personally don't see this as a huge risk, rather knowing this information can help me make an informed decision and make sure that I am aware of the possible consequences.
Those situations are extreme, and sadly do happen. I think most people are aware of the dangers. I can say, that it is only the minority of the time - after having my profile picture as myself for a year, I never got a sexual conversation. However, before I did I had got 3, it is just pure coincidence, that I happened to pick up those chats. They sadly happen, and are not okay - but that is also why we have Listeners in LSR and TL who are here to support you, and guide you if you ever need help!
I think that is always good to be informed - but I also don't think that an unbalanced argument does anybody any favours, I know this debate has often been going round my head, and I've eventually found in my case that I felt comfortable enough, and that the positives of having a little personalisation outweighed the negatives. Personally for me, I like having a picture that represent me, rather than just an animal - it allows people to see me, it allows selfishly makes me feel a little bit like I've accomplished something? When I had a general picture, I felt like I tended to dissociate my 7 Cups profile, to myself and I never felt able to celebrate my achievements on here. It was a pretty personal thing, and I know not everyone feels this way - in fact I may be the only one. But having a more relative picture, I was able to connect those two sides of myself. Even when I am down, and my brain dismisses everything, I am reminded that there are things I've done in the past that have been better :3
Again, each to their own - I think having all the information about Positives and Negatives will allow people to make the best decision for them! It's all about how you feel, and how you feel you will be able to manage the results of having a picture. 
Emma
I agree this should be updated.
@Phthalo
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
@Blaze i think it should be changed also instead of saying what it should be just say what it should not be take out the beginning where it says " Please choose a head shot (picture of your face), nmbol/image (i.e, Hope), or animal. " and just say what the picture should not be ... " should not be a picture of a famous person a cartoon character .... ( and then there is room to add " if its a photo make sure its not located anywhere else on the internet " or "should not be a photo located anywhere else online" ) and really before anyone can add a picture even a picture of their cat i think they should read this thread so they can make an informed decision and know the risks would it be so difficut to frovide a link to this thread in settings or a link to some info page with this information on it and include something about it in new listener training? and more visable to members maybe this info should be in newbie hub also ( i started a thread in teen zone yesterday talking about this and linking to this thread) it can be more visible it is important that everyone reads this
Oh yes, cats. I didn't think of that. A picture of your cat can be traced in the same way as any other picture, theoretically.
I find it hard to believe, however, that the risk of having a picture of yourself or your cat traced is the kind of risk we should be taking too seriously. We deliberately back away from trying to prevent suicide, while we take steps to address the issue of cat photo tracing. Really?
@jennysunrise8
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie good point 7cups could become a place where people can get crisis counceling from some listeners and there could be a referral service to direct people to specific listeners on 7cups who are trained in that and that would be really good if 7cups did do that but i think their too busy and distracted with sanitizing 7cups of all things potentially upsetting or offensive to anyone and calling it safety than deal with genuine safety for people that can save their lives or prevent them from harming themselves or other people (another thing we cannot try to prevent and just must let them do)
When I said it should be updated, I meant that pictures of cartoons, animals, and even celebrities are allowed. What isn't allowed is celebrity impersonators, partial or full frontal nudity. People should avoid sharing photos of themselves, but mostly photos that are also on social media, or similar to what can be found on their social media accounts. Also, sharing photos that show part of your household, neighbourhood or famous surroundings (like, imagine, if I share a photo of a very particular lake near my home, for example), that's what things get very dangerous, and that's where people should be very mindful.
If someone is so dedicated as to locate a person based on GPS coordinates hidden in code, then it's not even a 7 Cups issue, it's a police case. Most stalkers won't go that far. But if someone does go that far, please report it to the police. I mean...that's not just a bored person doing "Facebook stalking", it's really dangerous stuff we're talking about.
@jennysunrise8
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
@Blaze well how would someone know if another person is getting the GPS info from pics its unlikely i think that the person doing it would inform the person that its being done and who they are and give enough info about themself to the person so they can contact police i think the person getting the GPS info would just do it and not let the person know it would be a good idea for people to not have that info on their pics people cant count on stalkers being polite and letting they know their doing it people have to look out for themselves
@MistyMagic Wonderful, well organized post! It is outstanding how much of an influence profile pictures/ display pictures can have especially in regards to internet safety. I sadly realized that the hard way when I first joined 7Cups. Thanks for sharing, and keep up the great work! :)
<~~~ had to add that again, glad you liked the tuna pics@MistyMagic Thanks for this article. In addition to what you wrote, I think listeners should have the choice to not display the country that they are from.
@MistyMagic
Thanks for this post! There was a listener whose profile pic was a pic of cleavage...and the profile was around for several days! Haven't seen it lately though.
