Intervention for People that are Trolling
There are people on the Internet that enjoy getting a rise of people. They are sometimes referred to as trolls. I prefer to call them people that are behaving like trolls rather than trolls b/c I believe they are much more than just their trolling behavior. In fact, broadly, I think people that tend to troll can be smart, creative, and broadly under challenged in life.
As many of you know, I have 4 kids. Sometimes they argue with one another. One might goad the other - kind of push their buttons - to purposely annoy them. I always tell my kids: Dont take the bait! Dont get hooked! Dont take the bait! Sometimes you here people say Dont feed the trolls and this means the same thing. You dont want to allow yourself to engage with someone who is just trying to get a rise out of you.
What are the signs that someone might be trolling?
In brief, they are messaging or posting with the goal of making you angry, upsetting you, or harassing you.
Here are other signs from How-to-Geek:
--Refusal to acknowledge evidence: Even when presented with hard, cold facts, they ignore this and pretend like they never saw it.
--Off-topic remarks: Completely going off-topic from the subject at hand. This is done to annoy and disrupt other posters.
--Dismissive, condescending tone: An early indicator of a troll was that they would ask an angry responder, Why you mad, bro? This is a method done to provoke someone even more, as a way of dismissing their argument altogether.
--Use of unrelated images or memes: They reply to others with memes, images, and gifs. This is especially true if done in response to a very long text post.
--Seeming obliviousness: They seem oblivious that most people are in disagreement with them. Also, trolls rarely get mad or provoked.
Trolling behavior, like most things, can exist on a spectrum - not really bad, mild, moderate or severe. My experience on 7 Cups has included all types of trolling. A sub-type of trolling can be sexual trolling where the person is trying to engage with you - sneakily - in a sexual manner. They might talk around the issue with the goal of trying to have a sexting type chat with you.
We are at the beginning of creating a toolbox to help empower listeners better manage people that are trolling. We have ideas all over the forums. This one for example. We will start consolidating things here in this thread. Look for more info soon. In the meantime, I wanted to share a risk with you all that Id like all listeners to use when they encounter a person that is trolling:
What to do when you suspect a person is trolling you. It can be enough to suspect it. When that happens, say:
I know that life has likely been challenging for you. I understand that you might have been treated unfairly. I think that is partly why you are behaving towards me like you are right now.
I believe that you are smart and creative and that trolling is likely not the best way to express your talents. You can keep behaving as a troll if you like; if things stay the same as they are now, then what do you think your life will look like in 3, 6, 9, or 12 months? My guess is that it will continue on the downward slope that it is on now.
Take a second and really sink into that idea and imagine your future based on the trajectory you are now on. If that is what you want, then I will honor that choice. If that is not what you want and you want to take steps towards a future path that is more meaningful and fulfilling, then Im willing to help support you on that new path. The choice is yours.
What do you want to do?
Answer 1: Continue on the trolling path.
Listener response: Okay, I wish you the best and hope things change for you in the future. Ill need to block and report you now.
(Block and report the user)
Answer 2: I want to take steps on the more meaningful path and strop trolling.
Listener response: Okay, good, to show me that you mean it, I need you to show me that you are actively motivated to change. I want you to take 5 steps on your growth path and let me know what each step entailed so I can know you are being up front with me. I cannot spend any additional time talking with you until I have evidence that you have taken those 5 initial steps.
Tips:
You need to insist that the person answers the question. Dont let them sidetrack you. Stay on topic. If they become belligerent, then just say, From your behavior, it seems like you are choosing to continue trolling. Im blocking you and reporting you now. Bye.
Please share other tips and ideas below. I continue to believe that people that troll have a lot of unrealized talent and creativity. We can collectively find ways to align with folks that want to help. At the same time, we will remain firm in our boundaries and strengthen our community and listeners.
@GlenM
I've tried similar approaches in the past to no avail. I've blocked, reported, sent screen shots, requested the VPN be blocked, and all the other things I was advised to do in response to hate mail. I'm lucky my troll finally decided to leave me alone. I say that because I don't feel that Cups did enough to protect me as a listener from the vile filth spewed forth in my inbox. The things that were said to me, the threats that were made against me, the details of how the torture I should receive should be carried out, haunts me to this day and has forever changed the way I approach listening. Yes, I can block someone who is harassing me but that does noting to protect the next listener. Yes, I can ban someone but, with the endless number of free email services out there, they can literally be back in my pm's in less than half an hour. Isn't there a better way to handle repete offenders thank block, ban, and hope they get tired of you?
@PeaceLoveandPaws
100% agree with you on all of this <3 !!!!
@PeaceLoveandPaws exactly and sorry you've been subjected to that. hugs
@PeaceLoveandPaws sorry to hear that as a fellow listener I can appreciate that we have a hard job trying to help people and it can be frustrating as we don't get enough protection for the great work we do
@PeaceLoveandPaws
…they can literally be back in my pm's in less than half an hour. Isn't there a better way to handle repete offenders thank block, ban, and hope they get tired of you?
Yes, there is a better way. 7 Cups could very easily prevent newly-created member accounts from messaging any and every listener.
I once wrote a simple filter that protects a listener from unsolicited messages, without affecting legitimate chats. It required just five lines of code. I haven't published it, but if you, or any other listener, would like to try this partial solution, PM me.
Personally I don't use the filter I wrote, because I've had very little trouble from trolls at 7 Cups (so far 
) and I'm happy to respond to unsolicited messages.
Charlie
This is great for listeners in 1-1 chats. There are many issues with trolling or outright harassment on the site though. We need to look at protecting members much more IMO. We are the ones who are in a much more vulnerable position as our role is to share what's going on in our personal lives.
I feel like issues aren't being dealt with appropriately.
The listener rating is still not accepting negative ratings last I checked, this has been an issue for about a year. Listeners block without good reason, without repercussions for their accounts. When it comes to issues outside of 1-1s it often takes repeated reports before something is done. Emails usd to be responded to, but I have found that's not happening lately.
@AffyAvo I'm not sure it's all that great for listeners, really, but I very much agree about protecting members.
Charlie
@AffyAvo
hi Affy! I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts if you want to PM me!
@GlenM I agree with a lot you say but circumventing bans and blocks by making numerous accounts to threaten members and listeners hasn't been resolved.
This MAY work with general "trolls" but not a lot.
Thank you for posting this and i hope it helps. I faced those trolls so many times and i agree with my fellow listeners that blocking is just not enough, like they come up with another account just to troll us again. I think there should be a proper way to deal with it So that we can save other listeners as well.
@GlenM Thank you so much . i really needed this . i m only a beginner but i already i have seen people testing from multiple accounts insisting on the same thing.
@GlenM thanks really helpfull I'm new and this will allow me to stop trolls faster when I see one.👌
Brilliant resource, it's good that it's finally been adressed and I feel so much happier having this as a resource.
@GlenM Thank you for posting this! I have talked about trolls many many times in the listener chat rooms and my comments have usually been dismissed with 'we do not call members trolls' 'we should always be supportive'. While I agree with being supportive some people are obviously trolls and like describing explicit issues to get a rise or a reaction out of us listeners. Please normalise the fact that it is OK TO CALL PEOPLE TROLLS IF THEY ARE, and it is also ok to block a member because of this.
Some issues brought up border on illegal topics yet we are told again (by fellow listeners might I add) that it is ok for people to express these feelings, even though the user was very clearly a troll, and talking about an EXTREMELY sensitive and might I add ILLEGAL topic and clearly making the user uncomfortable, yet the peer listeners said to just refer them to another listener.
Please state some sort of troll policy that peer listeners should be educated about!
@seraphblade
I understand what you are saying, truly. There are definitely times it can feel like a story. That being said, the reason all chats are treated as genuine is because we don't know for sure. They may be talking about illegal or uncomfortable topics, but what's uncomfortable for one person may not be for another.
@seraphblade
"Please normalise the fact that it is OK TO CALL PEOPLE TROLLS IF THEY ARE, and it is also ok to block a member because of this."
Hmm. I find this troubling for a few reasons.
First, I believe that the act of trolling must not be permitted, under any circumstances. The behavior is horrid, counterproductive, insulting, and baiting in many cases. As a GroupMod, I acted SWIFTLY, did not mess around, no three strikes law, no verbal warnings, no soft language. I banned them from the site the moment they started in. I will not sit idle and passively allow someone to terrorize others on 7 Cups. However, my actions were admonished by the management of 7 Cups, who took a very passive approach to the rules, and believed that the troll should be permitted to "express themselves". That is why I'm no longer a GroupMod, since I do not subscribe to that mentality. I believe that it is a wrong approach, a do-nothing approach, gives the trolls much freedom to inflicting their harm unrestricted, causes 7 Cups to lose members and Listeners, and above all the trolls know the site rules -- in some cases, better than most on 7 Cups -- in that they know exactly what buttons they can push, how far they can go, and especially love to cry fowl when a moderator takes action as I had. Thus, the GroupMod is punished. This folks, is why we saw a huge exodus of GroupMods in the last year or two.
I refuse to label someone a troll. Focus on the BEHAVIOR, not the PERSON. Their behavior is the problem. Perhaps there are psychological reasoning behind their need to act that way, but blaming the person doesn't solve anything and only fans the flames brighter and stronger. The problem of trolling MUST focus on the BEHAVIOR of the individual, not assigning labels to people, which doesn't work nor solve the issue at hand.
@Sventek
I think I didn't express myself well enough, I don't advocate for calling people trolls as such, but when I brought up trolling behavior on the chat, or illegal behavior or someone perpetuating hate speech, members will actively tell me to empathise and that I have to try and listen to their problems.
Some mods refuse to acknowledge that some people will genuinely come on here for entertainment and like harassing listeners and we are expected to listen to their issues when they are obviously there to 'troll us'. I have actively been told to empathise with someone who 'hates people of color' for example.
@Sventek
What I meant was that mods don't accept the existence of trolling behavior and they tell people to help/empathise/engage or even refer the member to another listener if I am '''uncomfortable''' with the chat. They just deny the existence of trolling behavior on these chats even when it is blatantly obvious. The issue is not me being ''uncomfortable'' with the chat, the issue is the person talking about illegal behaviours which are serious crimes, hate speech or bringing up things that are told in a very explicit way and asking you explicit questions. When I bring up such things in listener group chats I am told to refer the member to another listener and this is NOT the solution! The solution you said which is a swift block is ABSOLUTELY correct and I completely agree! I meant that we should normalise that behaviour instead of being made to feel like a 'bad' listener.
All - thank you for the responses here and for sharing ideas. I connected with @rarelycharlie to hear their thoughts/ideas and they are consistent with solutions that both @hope and @asilentobserver have been thinking. We are refining these ideas and I'll have an update soon. Thanks again to you all and special thanks to @rarelycharlie for sending comprehesive and pragmatic ideas over.
@GlenM
Um - lowly member here. I understand the issue with trolls - all too well tbh. Members deal with them in the forums as well. I guess I have a question as to whom we're supposed to contact about things? Because I have to tell you - getting a hold of people higher up to handle things is allmost impossible. You can tag people and they never reply. You can PM them and they either reply days later or they don't reply at all. We've been waiting two weeks - tomorrow - for an answer on another thread. There's a thread in the trauma section that another member asked about something and to be able to get ahold of someone for an answer seems to be taking alot longer then it should. So - who do we go to? I mean - everyone gets that most of the work here is voluntary and that people have outside lives. But as a member it's disheartening to not have anyone to turn to for answers and support - maybe instead of just one person - maybe a team of people or Idk - just have people available - somewhere. Someone that actually answers with in a certain amount of time. Idk - maybe it's asking for alot - it just used to be easier when I first started here and it's only getting worse from what I see
@mytwistedsoul I agree with you.
The team of people idea seems like a good one, but when it was tried using the @7CupsCommunity account it seemed to run into problems. A team to ensure that every thread in the forum has a reply was also tried, yet when I looked just now I saw threads with no reply stretching back more than a year.
The general way to contact someone about something is to Submit a request (in the Help Center). I believe this should work in all circumstances, although there might be faster ways in some specific cases.
In the forum, the general way to get a reply to a thread is to tag someone who might be able to respond. In a subcommunity this would be any of the subcomminity's leaders, but particularly the forum supporters and the community mentor leaders.
If you post links to those two other threads you mentioned, I imagine there are people reading this who might reply to them 
There are other things that might help in the future, but it's difficult to tell how much priority an issue like this has. For example, beside the "Flag this post as containing inappropriate content" button at the bottom of a post there could be an "Escalate this post - it really needs a reply" button, which would save you the trouble of finding out who to tag.
And when anyone posts a new thread asking a question they need an answer to, there could be a checkbox for "This is a question - someone please reply". Then all the threads that don't really need replies at all could be cleared out of the forum's Needs Reply views.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie @EvelyneRose Thank you both for your help and input. I will tuck this information away in case of future issues
Ironically enough, shortly after posting the first time the one issue was resolved within minutes. The second issue isn't as pressing as the first so I'm willing to try the other leaders for that area. Behold the power of the grapevine- it apparently works faster then the regular channels
Thank you both
@RarelyCharlie The Mighty has something similar to that. What people post can be classified as either a question or a thought. I do like the idea of being able to flag a post that might really need a reply. I do see many posts that have questions but finding the answers often turns into adventure, leaving all involved feeling frustrated. I really hope they give your thoughts and ideas some consideration because you have many that would be really good for all involved here and would benefit 7Cups as well.
Thank you both for your time.
@mytwistedsoul The Mighty? I hadn't heard of it before.
Yes, they have Question, Thought and Story. But they have their problems too, because I saw a question, "Whats your least favorite symptom today?" which isn't really someone looking for an answer. It's what we would call a check-in.
I don't know what will happen with this idea at 7 Cups.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie I liked the @7CupsCommunity tag, but I do think admin needs to be clear when it works. I tagged a few times in May, still no response. It would have helped to have known the account wasn't being used then, as then I could have attempted to contact someone else, when I assume that's the contact to use because it's what we were told, things really go ignored. It also creates the issue of people getting into the habit of making multiple ways of contacting people, which leaves admin more stuff to go through.
@GlenM
@mytwistedsoul
Hi soul! I think it depends on who you are trying to reach. If it's in forums, you could reach out to the leader of that forum. If they don't respond within a few days, you could try other leaders of that section. If no one ever responds, you could try @Tazzie or @Anomalia. Theres also a forum flagging team that flag posts. Tazzie and ano, please add any info i may have forgotten.
@EvelyneRose
Just got the message today and it's taken care of. Thank you Evelyne!