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Sventek
1 283,082
L Marvel 8
5 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings300 Number of reviews156 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceOct 18, 2015 Last activein last week GenderMale PathStep 179 People helped390 Chats2,528 Group support chats279 Listener group chats75 Forum posts428 Forum upvotes705
Bio

“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” ― Rumi

About Me
I am here to offer focused, short-term support for relationship issues, including marriage, dating, alternative relationships (including polyamory or open relationships), and sexual matters for both men and women. If you're looking for a long-term Listener, I encourage you to find someone else on 7 Cups who can provide consistent care, as my work schedule is unpredictable.

What I Handle:

  • Relationship challenges
  • Infidelity
  • Sexual concerns
  • Open and closed relationship dynamics

What I Don't Handle:

  • Any issues outside of relationships or sexual concerns
  • Long-term support

I do not engage in Listener Chats and only speak with member accounts, per 7 Cups' sitewide policy. NO EXCEPTIONS, ZERO, NONE. That policy is located here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/SafetyGuidelines_1374/ForumGuidelinesExpanded8ListenerBoundaries_175467/

I am direct, factual, and sometimes blunt, but always fair and non-judgmental. If you prefer sugar-coated advice, I may not be the right Listener for you. However, if you're seeking honest, straightforward support, I'm here to help.

Background:
I hold an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy (Summa Cum Laude) and am currently pursuing my Doctorate in the same field, which I expect to complete in January 2025. My MA in Psychology will be completed at the end of Summer 2025. In my academic pursuit, balance is everything.

You can CHOOSE me as your Listener. If my approach resonates with you.

Recent forum posts
7 Cups is *not* a dating site.
Relationship Stress / by Sventek
Last post
 May 26th, 2023
...See more At 7 Cups, my area of specialty is relationships and sexuality. Therefore, I only handle those types of situations. I continue to find individuals who come to me utterly distraught about a relationship they found on 7 Cups. This isn't something new, but certainly worth repeating. If you're looking for a date or a relationship, 7 Cups is not that place. Many sites and apps are available for that purpose. Dating on a mental health support website may not be the best idea for a few reasons: Boundary Confusion 7 Cups is designed for support and therapeutic discussions, not romantic engagements. Mixing romantic intentions with this platform could blur boundaries and potentially harm the support environment. Vulnerability People on 7 Cups might be in a vulnerable state. Exploiting this vulnerability for romantic or personal gain could be manipulative or harmful. Recovery Interference Entering a romantic relationship could complicate a person's healing journey. If the relationship doesn't work out, it may exacerbate existing mental health issues. Shared Struggles Dating someone with similar mental health issues can be challenging. Both individuals may be dealing with their own struggles and unable to support the other adequately. It's crucial to respect the intended purpose and boundaries of 7 Cups. If you want a romantic relationship, consider using a dedicated dating site or app instead.
Goodbye
Site Updates / by Sventek
Last post
 July 8th, 2021
...See more I've been on 7 Cups of Tea since Oct 2015, a long time. I've watched the site grow, morph even, into a thriving community of amazing people. At some point in 2020, I took a much-needed care break to focus on my MA degree as it was taking up more and more of my time and I needed to focus on my pathway to becoming an MFT which is something that I'd always wanted long before I found this community. I'm at the mid-way point of my program, learning a lot, and 7 Cups certainly helped me to develop my skills of empathy listening, working with diverse groups of people, and getting involved in community projects. I've enjoyed it all, and the beauty of this site were the people I met along the way. I recall fondly some of the amazing leadership that I met on this site too, that unfortunately are long gone. Their efforts to building 7 Cups aren't forgotten, however, because you can see their time, effort, and energy today. Lately, I've been helping out with Forums, specifically Relationship Support, for which I ... well, had a badge to designate me as such, given I earned it over a long period of time of supporting the site through guided Relationship Chat Support, Forums, and 1:1 discussions. I'm genuinely humbled by those I've been able to guide, help, and the feedback I didn't ask for but glows on my profile page. It took many cheers and time to get to a five-star rating. Today, while sitting in Relationship Support helping members - someone... decided it was best to yank my Relationship Support badge - without as much of a whisper. It was a huge slap in the face, for all of the hours, days, weeks, months, and years I'd poured into helping members on this site. With management decisions made like that, I can easily see why there has been a mass exodus of stellar leaders. There is no justification. And now, with a heavy heart, I've come to a realization that I should have probably come to a long time ago when I couldn't even get the administration of this site to grant me any sort of leadership role. Is it because I'm not qualified? No. Is it because I don't meet the criteria? No. Is it because I forgot to fill out a form? No. It is because... the people that should be in specific roles are not permitted to do so, and thus, get frustrated and leave for other support sites and I dare say that name. People do not stay where they are not appreciated nor respected. The moment you realize that you're not respected, appreciated, or valued - it's time to move on and leave that entire situation and community behind. So, who really loses here? Well, it wasn't the members of this site that caused the issue. Sadly, they will likely miss out on guidance within Forums and Relationship Support where I've diligently provided countless hours providing FREE support. Do a search, look for yourself. Now that will be silenced, and sadly, based on my review of the Forums, was desperately needed because the quality of support is very poor where most postings get ignored or lackluster responses. That is sad. I do not see many people putting in as much effort as I do, within Forums or Relationship Support Chat. I lost count of the leadership that rolled through those positions too. So with that, my journey with 7 Cups of Tea comes to an end. I'm off to find another place where I feel that my contributions are valued, appreciated, and respected. I have no doubt that I'll land well. I'd just hoped that I'd find a pathway through 7 Cups, which I'd grown to love. Yet, this site's leadership isn't the same, and the issues never seem to resolve. I'd thought of bringing this up to leadership, but I'd find more resolution talking to a wall. I wish were joking. For the person that removed my Relationship Support Badge, which is a leader on this site that has the access and ability to do so, perhaps you should consider a new approach to team management. It needs work. Perhaps before your little fingers clicked the buttons, might want to have figured out WHY I had the badge, versus just up and removing it. Thank you for the years - time - and I wish everyone else well - over 1,227 hours of support chat - and so many more hours dedicated to supporting members of this site. I'm humbled and proud of everything I've accomplished here. This includes completing the 7 Cups of Tea Internship Program. No Reply - or PMs Requested. This decision is final.
Six Types of People You Cannot Help
Relationship Stress / by Sventek
Last post
 June 6th, 2020
...See more Dharius Daniels [https://youtu.be/gyhBCPM5X0Y], a pastor, has a YouTube channel and provided a talk about individuals who you may cross paths within your life that are not open to being helped, regardless of your desire, willingness, or ability. I felt that it is relevant to 7 Cups because so many of the people we'll encounter on our platform may fit into these categories. This has been a frustration to many Listeners, because they blame themselves, take it personally, or think they didn't do their job correctly -- even though, the conditions below were in effect. That simply is not true. I would bet that some Listeners have likely quit 7 Cups, because they felt they weren't making a difference. Sometimes, to make a difference -- you must try to understand the depths and lengths you should go to help someone when these conditions apply. You can't help people who don't think they need it. You may think that you can convince them that they need it, but you're wrong. It's a fruitless exercise, only frustrates you, and frustrates them. You can't help people who know they need it but don't want it. I've met a few people in my life who had a drinking problem, and actually died from the problem. They professed to me that they knew they needed help, but didn't want it. There was no amount of convincing, educating, providing analogies, or helping them see a different path. If they don't want it, they don't. You can't help people who don't want it, yet. In order to genuinely help, they have to be ready to receive it. They may not be ready yet. There may be no timetable for them to be ready yet either. Your usual next question when they say they aren't ready is, "Well, WHEN?" They may not even know themselves. However, you cannot force them into a program or to help them when they aren't prepared or ready to receive. You can't help people who don't want it, from you. You're not a savior. Perhaps they want it from a specific someone, a certified counselor, or a therapist. Consider that maybe they don't want it from you because they worry about what that help may do to your relationship and the risks are too great. They must want it from you if you're to help them through anything and you cannot will them to want you to help them either. You can't help people who aren't willing to do what it takes to get it. They may need help, they may want help, but if they aren't willing to put in the full effort to receive it -- then, you're not going to make progress. Help is a two-way street, give and take, and in a lot of cases they must be willing to put in the time, effort, and energy to accept the help, grow from it, learn from it, incorporate it, and live it. Change is often very hard for people, and some are not up to the task to do what is necessary to experience real change in their lives.
I'm *NOT* In Crisis
Site Updates / by Sventek
Last post
 May 25th, 2020
...See more I posted a rather detailed response to a member, and then all that I wrote went COMPLETELY away and was replaced with one sentence. "Something in your forum post sounded like you might be in crisis. If you are thinking about harming yourself or someone else, please refer to these crisis resources [https://www.7cups.com/crisis.php]." Great. All the time, effort, and energy I put into a member's response that was looking for support, empathy, and perhaps some knowledge -- gone. I can't even recover what I wrote. Ok, so, shame on me for not making a copy before I pressed Add Thread, my fault. Lesson learned. The system could have provided me the concern, without swallowing my message whole. BTW, I'm also a Forum Supporter for that section as well. This is something that should be looked into, my post did not discuss my own self-harm or any inkling to myself being in a crisis. In fact, if anything -- I'd recommended that they seek the necessary help to support their situation. I find the fact that the system swallows posts whole in that manner completely unwarranted and extremely upsetting. Her post is now sitting there without a response.
Six Pillar Diagnostic Test for Marriages and Relationships & Long Term Study on What Keeps People Together
Relationship Stress / by Sventek
Last post
 May 22nd, 2020
...See more While it wasn't a scientific or actual endorsed study, I performed my own diligence to find out what it was that kept couples together past twenty years. When I would meet a couple that had been together long term, I asked them what it was that provided them longevity. I'd venture to say that I asked that question to many couples over the span of over ten years. None of the couples knew one another. The answers were very similar. Each couple told me that two important things kept them together over the years: 1. We're friends under it all Couples understand that regardless of what happens, they always appreciate and understand that there is an underlying friendship that propels every aspect of their marriage. They never lose sight of the fact they are friends, working as partners, in order to fulfill their vows and provide service to those around them. 2. They learned how to communicate, compromise, and pick/choose their battles Each couple I spoke with pointed out that the ways in which they communicated, never went to bed mad, learned to compromise together, and didn't fight about every single thing (pick and choose battles) made all the difference. Based on my experience, the way you fight strongly determines happiness in a marriage. My six years of marriage is strong simply because we don't pick fights, but choose our battles wisely, and make sure that we have a resolution process so that we don't allow situations to lead to resentment. Resentment in a marriage is hard as cement. It doesn't take a lot of it to tank even the best of marriages. I believe that working hard to ensure resentment doesn't set within a marriage is crucial. To diagnose marriages and relationships, I use pillars as part of my process. Usually, one or more of the pillars will be compromised and will point out the areas in which the couple likely needs to focus. This is not a cookie-cutter method, nor is it one size fits all -- but it is a good starting point to get to the core issues within a relationship that is having issues. Communication - How do they talk to each other, how do they fight, how do they resolve their differences, how do they laugh together, do they go to bed mad, are there any communication issues that swirl without resolution or compromise, and are there ways in which they are communicating that are more effective than others? Honesty - Is there dishonesty, either with one or both partners about anything between them? Trust - Do they genuinely trust one another, have there been violations of trust, how stable is their trust bond? Respect - Do they respect one another in multiple ways, how do they show respect, how do they work hard each day to show one another they value the other? Friendship - Are they friends, not simply pretending, not roommates, not just married -- but, do they enjoy spending time together? Shared Values - At their very core, do they both have similar values, money management, children upbringing rules, morals, integrity, and deal breakers? I've seen many situations where there are issues in more than one pillar. My starting point is always to focus more on core issues and not symptoms. I think today, even in traditional therapy, we usually focus on symptoms but never address or get close to the core issues that may or may not be obvious. The core areas are listed in the pillars that I provided above and you'll note that byproducts such as love, affection, sex, intimacy, connection, and such are not listed. That is because when the pillars are strong, as are the other byproducts. If you do not focus on core issues, only symptoms, you'll spin your wheels getting nowhere attempting to squash symptoms like playing a game of whack-a-mole. It's exhausting because there is no real resolve, no end, and no light at the end of that tunnel. By addressing a lot of the core issues, the symptoms may recede all by themselves. Note that for a relationship to return to a healthy situation, BOTH parties must work together to resolve their differences. Situations, where one person does most of the effort, while the other passively accepts the changes, is not going to be effective, especially long term. How long does this process usually take? That depends. It can take weeks, months, or years. It depends on several factors including (but not limited to) the effort of both parties, age, length of relationship or marriage, dependencies (such as situation, living conditions, financial status, insurance, children, parents, disabilities, etc.)
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Feedback & Reviews
I’m glad I had the opportunity to talk with this person, I was in a pretty intense depressive state following a breakup, and they helped me put things in perspective and work on solving my problems. Thank you.
Sventek was very helpful and a great listener. He is really knowledgeable in his field. Very happy to have been able to speak to him.
Very comforting!
Thorough and insightful. Sventek has been a huge help to me and I am grateful.
He is a good listener, really understood what I'm going through.
Sventek listens. Sventek was far from cliche answers. They took time to truly listened and helped!
A great listener
Honest, questioning and thoughtful
Very thorough and attentive!
Sven, is the voice and ear I need. My emotions tend to blind me and push me to make the wrong decisions. His words make me more grounded and focused. Thank you
awesome awesome awesome!!! Asked questions to gain understanding. Great listening skill. I truly loved the interaction!
Amazing advice. Helped me find my heart and my confidence. Thorough and empathetic. Life changing.
Great person to talk to
Amazing listener
Amazing listener! Very insightful and understanding. After reading the reviews I felt that this was who I needed to talk to. I only talked about relationship/self healing but I feel like you can ask anything and you will receive a very honest and spot on answer. 10/10 please reach out if you need someone to talk to.
best guy hands down
Fantastic, gave me a broken down and step by step view of my situation. Extremely helpful.
Sventek is so very knowledgeable about relationship matters and attentive to you and your story. I really enjoyed our chat and I'm glad to know that he'll still be around!
He was very kind and helpful I would say. Provided me support . I appreciate their efforts and time they give here!
Sventek is an asset to 7 Cups, every time I talk to him I learn something new about myself.
I tried other sites but 7 Cups is awesome. This is exactly what I needed!
So helpful and direct to the point.
This made a huge difference in my life, thank you!
It was truly worth the effort and wait to find Sventek. Bless him and bless 7 Cups.
Extremely helpful in bringing clarity to a situation that had been confusing me for some time, despite consultations with several therapists and coaches. Honest, direct, sensible, and kind.
They were very helpful , understanding . I enjoyed my chat with them.
A great and insightful listener
I'm very pleased with how this turned out!
Sven is good news!! He asked me the right questions and made me think about my decisions and how they impact my life. Awesome Sauce!
They were nice and understanding , open minded and non judgmental . Wasn't expecting things to work out that well but they did. I am feeling a bit better getting things off my chest.
He figured it out, months I've been thinking about this. One chat was all it took. Where was this guy months ago???
Dealing with loss is not always easy. Thanks to you, I am in a much better spot. Thanks!
Words are not always easy for me, and I'm not good at putting them together for praise. While Sventek helped me realize a few things that I did not want to admit or acknowledge, I am thankful he took the time to spend with me to sort things out that have been bothering me for over five years. Bless him and 7 Cups.
He helped me with my business, even though he was helping me with my personal problem. Gracias Senior Sventek! Mucho Gusto!
He is THE absolute man.
Thank you again, Sventek, I'm a new man.
The help that I needed the most, when I needed it.
The rational, to the point advice that I needed in my difficult time. Thank you for everything, I appreciate it greatly
Thanks so much for taking the time for talking to me ! He answered all my questions, and made me understand my situation better :) Great listener !
This will be my last review and message on 7 Cups, but I leave with a newfound reason to move forward and embrace what life now has to offer. My journey is brighter and more possibilities lay before me thanks to the effort of the Listeners on 7 Cups.
It is nice to see that through all the effort I've put into 7 Cups, one Listener has outshined my other experiences tenfold. I'm deeply moved, thankful, and truly inspired.
I'm just getting started, but I can tell I love 7 Cups already and I might become a listener.
I've been to a few other sites, but none of them provided me with the level of understanding, depth, and support that I needed the most.
I've provided feedback before, but I've been thrilled with the level of professionalism that Sventek has displayed during our chats. Thanks to him, I'll continue using 7 Cups and find other listeners that are just as exceptional.
I appreciate Sventek being there for me by compassionately listening to me and showing that he cared when I was going through a difficult time. I wouldn't have been inspired to take the first steps toward getting better without his help. We need more listeners like you on this platform, Sventek.
Such an understanding listener. Understands deep psychological issues so well. Got my codependency issue and really gelped me talk through things. Thank you so much! Thanks for being here to help.
He's helpful and he's asking the real questions
Super helpful, honest, and clear. Was very empathetic, understanding, and gave great advice.
He is the most amazing guy in this website. He knows what he is talking about and he is capable of everything. This man is amazing
This was awesome!!!
The effort on milestones that we worked on together, worked in my relationship and even lightened my mood and depressive thoughts. Thank you!
I cannot afford in-person options, and I live far from the city. This was my first experience to try an online therapy and support website. I've finally found a place where I can be myself and speak my mind without fear of being judged. Sventek is the real deal!
This was exactly what I needed. I couldn't have asked for a better experience, Sven got me right away. He truly listens. Thanks 7 Cups! This was far better than any in-person counseling session I've ever had.
Very good listener. Offers good feedback and is nice without sugar coating things
I really really loved talking to this listener. One of the best listeners I have talked to in my whole life..
He seemed to truly want to help me. Thank you for listening to me, you're a great guy.
After going through several other listeners on here, Sventek was the only one that stuck with me and worked to actually "get me". Awesome.
Good Listener. Asks relevant questions. And is kind.
Really helpful and professional
Helped me deal with the loss of my friend, Sventek has provided me the kind of support that I needed. Thank you!
Very patient. Kind and funny!
This experience makes me very pleased that I chose 7 Cups. Thank you, Sventek!
Thank you, once again.
Can’t thank Sventek enough! It was like being advised by a professional love coach. Attentive, exhaustive, caring, encouraging and, most of all, honest.
Sventek is a really great listener. I really enjoyed talking. The chat was very useful for me.
So insightful, thank you!
Really good help :) Thank you
Helpful, informative and reassuring. It felt like he cared, and it was nice to have someone who listened and understood.
Thank you for your help.
He was incredibly helpful and kind. So easy to talk to. Looking forward to following up.
Sventek is a great listener, and offers very straightforward advice. I found our conversation extremely helpful, and I feel like I have a clearer path towards resolving my issue.
Good listener. Very interactive. Was very straight forward with his opinion which is nice to have sometimes. You can choose to to believe it or not but it does give you an outside perspective.
Extremely wise and knowledgeable
Great listener and great insight
Sventek speaks the truth, not always pretty, but things that I realized that I needed to hear to make the necessary changes in my life. Thank you!
very helpful and straightforward
More than I could have asked for in the time I needed someone.
Asked good questions and was very encouraging
Great listener, very honest. Highly recommend A++++
Good guy, wise, good to talk to
Thank you! It was good to talk things through...and to get a clearer picture of what is going on. Thank you for being so clear and specific and helping me find resources. One of the best listeners here. Got me right away!
An excellent and respectful listener who is engaging and gives relevant feedback and things to think about. Also is a straight talker.
Straight shooter!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you! I couldn't have done this without your guidance.
He is everything that a Listener on 7 Cups should be. He's patient, understanding, thoughtful, thought provoking, honest, a bit blunt, but awesome to work with. A lot of my problems were not as big as I had made them out to be within my own mind. He helped me see that. For that, I am grateful.
Awesome listener
I can't say enough about my time with them. They ask the right questions and provide insight , which for me, was bang on. They had such a true understanding of my situation. I will be reading and re-reading our chat over again so that it will give me the positivity I need to help me move in the right direction. Thank you so much!!
Very good listener. Really committed to helping you understand your own situation. Appreciate the help so thank you.
A very intelligent, thought provoking guy. Gave me a lot to think about. Logical, and doesn't let feelings get in the way of facts, which people need sometimes
He's very knowledgeable, professional, and generous with his time. Our conversation helped address the issues I needed to talk about, and at the same time presented others that I hadn't given much thought to,
Sventek is great listener and shows great undestanding. Really appreciate talk we had.
All I can say is thank you!
Easy to talk to
A very professional listener who took an active approach in helping me solve my current stagnation in life. Understood everything.
Very understanding
Sventek is such an awesome listener. My being able to open up in ways I never have before really helped is work through one major issue. Since she is going to school for this type of stuff it makes her def worth the time! Thanks for volunteering your awesomeness.
Great listener! Very empathetic and explains things clearly using helpful anecdotes. Provides great support and helpful and much needed advice (even if it can be tough to hear sometimes). Has a super positive outlook!
Words fail me. He is absolutely amazing. The best by far.
Amazing!!!
Wonderful feedback!!!
Categories
Relationship Stress
Women's Issues
Sexual Health
Men's Issues
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