Internet Safety & Your Role As A 7 Cups Listener

What do you do if a member tells you their offline contact information and asks you to contact them on there even after you explained the danger and no tolerance policy?

@ScarletRegan2000 You can say that you would not be comfortable doing that. If you do not wish to continue you can also end the chat politely.

Thank you

@Twish, should they also report the member or is that not required?

@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn good question. If the member is harassing, rude, or pushy, you can report them so they don't disturb other listeners.

@Twish

thanks, I meant specifically if they are asking for (and insisting on) offsite contact info. If so, should the listener report the member or guest doing that?

@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn yes, if they seem too strong and pushy about it, they should be reported. If the member understands and stops, they probably have understood the rules.

@Twish sounds fair, thanks!

@Laura

But interns are suppose to gather "referral clicks" by posting the links through social media sites. Wouldn't people still manage to contact us outside of 7cups platform?

@AnchorHappiness

The sharing of information show not happen on 7 Cups with anyone you meet on this platform. Sharing off of 7 Cups with people who are not part of 7 Cups, but rather your school or personal network is the goal.

Hope this helps!

Thank you Laura! I really agree with what you said here. No matter how well you think you know someone online, you don't really know them. It's so easy to catfish someone or pretend to be someone you're not. There's no point of putting yourself at risk when you could easily just talk on here without worrying about being stalked or anything. And if something happens offsite, 7cups can't help you at all and there can't be repercussions for that person since it isn't on the 7cups website. Thanks for this post! :o <3

Thank you Laura for this post! I really agree with what you said here! You never really know who you can be talking to over the internet no matter how much you think you know them because its soo easy to pretend to be someone else. It can sometimes be very dangerous to give your personal info or social media to someone you've met on the internet, because it can lead to stalking and other things.. And if something did happen, 7cups cant really do anything.. Even if youve met the person, who you gave your personal info to, on 7cups.

Thank you Laura for this post! 7cups is a safe environment for all those people involved. If somebody, however, leaves this safe environment they cannot be protected by the 7cups people and rules. Thats the reason why they will be vulnerable to any negative behavior that would have been taken care of when it happened on 7cups itself. Another important point to consider is that people on 7cups are anonymous which means that you cannot trust them with offsite contact details. The might not be the person you think they are.
We should always keep those things in mind before engaging in offsite contact.

Thank you Laura for this wonderful and insightful post. This post has explained the reason we have this rule and now I fully do agree with this rule. It's very true that having offsite contact with people on here can cause all sorts of problems, like stalking, harassing, and all that icky stuff. It's like opening a can of worms and once you do, it can never be undone. You'll never be able to be anonymous again once you give this away. You never know who somebody is behind the screen, so don't take the risk. I will definitely think about this post when wanting to make such a decision.

Beautifully written Laura! It is important to let others know about why the rule is enforced and the consequences of breaking the rule. Sharing offsite contact can be very dangerous and you never know who anybody really is. Someone you may trust may not be who they say they are. Sharing social media, you can only help so much and sometimes you can't do anything that can help. Harassment and stalking are very scary things and sadly you can't help outside of 7 cups. Thank you for this post.

Laura, this post has taught me so much! If we choose to share offsite, we can run into many issues like you said. I can get harassed, stalked, and so on. I would also not be anonymous anymore which could lead to other problems. Thank you for this post! This is definitely a post to think about if I want to ever do such a thing

hi eveyone!

Thank you Laura for this post! While in the past I have disagreed with this rule, and felt it to be a bit pointless, from reading this I agree with it more; contacting offsite could be very dangerous! You never can know who people are, and giving them personal information puts you at massive risk, may it be from stalking, to exploitation. If all communications are kept on here, then they can be monitored more effectively, and everyone kept safe! Thank you again!

@Laura

Thank you laura for such a informative post... Yes sharing accounts can be dangerous and we loose our anonymous personality and people can stalk us and bullying... For teens it is very important to keep these rules in mind to assure Internet safety and live a good life :)

Okay someone (a guy I'm assuming) just asked me to role play with him because he's never approached a woman before and needed help with it. I kindly told him I don't think that is appropriate but I would be willing to help him in other ways. Did I do the right thing?! HELP

I just received what could be spam or malware by clicking on something reported as email from 7 cups. Where do I report such information?

Hi @comfortingSunshine62

Try having a look here for more information regarding your issue.

And for future reference, you may contact:

community@7cups.com for account or community issues

Or

support@7cups.com for bug/support site issues

Hope this helps.

Thank you so very much for these reminders. I know that I, personally, have had to explain to members countless times why we cannot connect off of 7Cups. Having a mother in law enforcement, I have had the oppurtunity to speak with the individuals who see what happens when bullying and stalking and similar things occur in the worst forms, and it has made a difference on how I have always viewed the internet. I have seen the damage that can be done. I have seen lives forever changed by a thing as simple as the internet. I have even seen lives lost due to bullying on the internet. We are blessed with a beautiful, safe community on 7Cups as you said. As such, while frustrating at times, rules are put in place for a reason: to keep us and others safe. If rules were meant to be broken, they would have never been made. Thank you for helping keep us safe and all you do!

@Laura

@Laura

@Laura I am glad you posted this. I personally witnessed people who wre telling unbelievable stories in a teen discussion room and then offering their snap chat account.

A recent scam wss happening on Snap Chat where people were telling people if they did not give them $300 they were going to make up stuff about them and post it on their social media accounts. This is not a joke. People are getting hurt by sharing personal information.

Someone tried to get me to buy some land they supposedly owned. Avodiing sharing personal information on 7cups is one of the simple things I can do to keep safe. I always say there are two ways to learn something, the easy way and the hard way. The easy way is to listen to other's experiences. The hard way is to find out that you just got scammed by someone by giving them personal access to you.

It is your choice, but we do live in a world that is not safe all the time to deal with strangers. On 7cups there is this safe world that is created for you. Hope you pick the easy way.

thanks

@Laura I believe the title of this thread should be edited as this applies for all 7cups users. Though I just hate it when regular members especially the ones in Teen Support Room tend to share their offsite contact such as snapchat, instagram or discord. They still have the courage to hint people that they have a group chat or had a chat in discord even if a mod is around and if you've warned them about it they would use their listener account just to share offsite and I'm aware that there are censors in PMs when mentioning social media but they tend to bypass it. It is honestly frustrating that they still have the guts to stay in the rooms and build cliques then contact each other offsite. They could have just left 7cups now that they can contact people who have their offsite rather than making other people feel excluded and left out because of the people who have talked about something on their discord group chat or whatsoever.

@Erato sorry to hear that. I share your frustration for different reasons. People never know who they are talking to offsite and there are many cases where scammers are trying to intimidate or get money from people. As soon as your personal info is out there, someone becomes vulnerable. What is better than sharing in a safe and happy environment at 7cups?

@Erato I will pm you about this.

I do agree on the community guidelines regarding anonymity. What is not too clear for me is what are we exactly allowed to share about us? I sometimes get some users wanting a friendly chat, and asking for my age/country/ sometimes religion and similar things. It really confuses me because I had people shaming me for wanting to keep as anon as possible.

I'd appreciate some clear explanation, or additional link.

Have a good day !

Hi, I was just reading through with little curiosity the rule and guideline for offline contact. I have few words to say on it.

One is, you cannot have a safe haven anyplace in the world. This world is a mix of good and evil, and at many points we will experience and learn from both. But yes elders/seniors in the house do rightly put limitations on children on where to go, when to go, what not to do etc. So I feel it is very caring of the 7cups part to strictly prohibit offline contact. I would call it an elderly act of love, many users being immature and innocent children.

Second, as we grow up, we do come to make our own choices, we come to take certain risks too. And it would be wrong to say that all risks lead to disaster or harm. Some risks very well lead to most beautiful and trustworthy relations. So while this 'strict forbidding' is appreciable, but as parents (the ones who forbids and makes rules of the house), we must also equip our children with a mind which can potentially make wiser choices for making friends. For that end, we can give guides on how to identify people you could trust, how not to act impulsively, or how to be patient and natural in sharing yourself and not act out of loneliness. I guess this question of choice, of whom to associate and share with, applies as much to offline life as it does to the online.

Third, complete forbidding (which in fact is not feasible) is as much harmful as it might sound to be a safe thing to follow. It can put limit to what we could have discovered. It stops us from experiencing what could have been beautiful relations of our lifetime.

So in conclusion, one could be made "aware" of the risks, one could be provided with resources and guides to enable us to make wiser choices with trusting fellow human beings, but eventually we must leave the independent choice to the individual. We cannot really (and should not look to) suffocate in the name of love and security.

My suggestion, in accordance with what is said in my post, would be to continue put warnings on how sharing personal information is a potential dangerous act, but also silently introduce resources and guides (and maybe stories and experiences of other people in a forum on human contacts), to enable our mind to make better choices when choosing friends online or offline. Also, banning a user for making offline contact does not make sense to me. It is like that a child comes back home hurt from a negative contact with someone, and the parents refuse the refuge and love. Just does not make sense.

@Fristo

I completely agree with u... Without knowing the one so closely, forbids us from a really beautiful learning experience and much more... Sometime the members do need to know something in order to develop the trust factor so that they can pour their heart out... And all this sometimes help...

And if someone is really very cautious abt its security then that listener wont share anything personal and for this i dont think there is a need to give any warning or so... Its totally upto one's comfort level... Those who feel it like a threat wud never share anything even if it is allowed... Hehhe 😂😂

@HealingAngel4u Ideally yes, each person should have that level of maturity, to share only as much as it feels safe and comfortable. But we as humans are impulsive beings at times, and therefore warnings are only appropriate to encourage safety.

But yes, being too rigid on what not to share can curb the possibility of a beautiful relation. So it is still an individual's choice, but the community's role is to make aware of the potential danger, just as the role of the Experienced is to leave beind their wisdom and teachings.

umm yes, I wrote in a not-too-exciting tone there, but thought to share my thoughts in response. :)

@Fristo

Exciting writing patterns... Hehe... Ur thoughts and wisdom always value more than the beautiful attire of the words... Hehe... I m never worried abt fancy words... Lol.... The main thing is that the point should be clear... And u describe it perfectly 😊😊

@HealingAngel4u Yes very much Angel, the point is what matters. The point conveyed in a humble and reader-friendly tone. :)

@HealingAngel4u "Without knowing the person so closely, forbids us from a beautiful learning..."

This does make so much sense. A good, positive flowing relation, should break all the boundaries, and only that can ensure the complete learning and benifit from the connection.

If a relation has been positive, if two people have felt so connected and angels for one another, why not let it blossom to all possible extent.

Thanks for your beautiful and valid point Angel :)

@Fristo I hear you. I am an advocate of freedom in many instances. I also am an advocate of internet safety so I am split on this issue.

I wish the internet was a place that people used to support and help each other without doing harm. And I wish that there were not people that try to intimidate people and even scam them out of $100's of dollars or coerce them into sexting or more on Skype. Unfortunately I have heard about all these and more. Someone even tried to sell me a house in the Canadian wilderness for $600,000 dollars.

So where do we err on the side of greater freedom or greater safety for people on the site? I guess there are many opinions about how to answer that question but I hope whoever reads this stays safe and tries to stay within the guidelines for their own safety.

@soulsings Very agreed that Internet has a great potential for harmful and hurting activities. But so has the world we live in. Do we then tell our children to not pursue friendship and intimacy in life, to not share phone numbers or visit each other's houses, or trust one another with money sometime etc?

I guess we, specially since recent decades, grew skeptic and unfaithful towards one another, we built compartments and mental walls to separate oneself from others (to prevent hurt), but that in turn led to growing loneliness and emptiness in individuals. In final words, too much security is as much harmful (suffocating) as too much freedom. We need a balance. For that, we need to hear and learn from the mouths of the Experienced, but to eventually feel free to make our individual choice.

Chaining has never succeeded in regulating the world, it has led to rebels and oppositions (breaking of rules/chains). But the education which aims to teach and explain everything and then eventually leaves it to the individual, is the education that liberates.

@Fristo I agree we can only give our children guidelines and give them as safe a place as possible to spread their wings with netting to catch them so if they crash it is not too harmful. I am feeling some times that there are many rules here at 7cups and that seems to hem me in, but there are other times when I have experienced unwanted attention that I really appreciate having this safe place that I can come to and get support and know that I am not vulnerable. For me that is worth the sacrifice of freedom to meet offsite. I also respect that others may feel differently and draw different conclusions and that is okay. I am glad you brought up the good points you mentioned and we can have a chance to share our thoughts and feelings.