Space After Argument

@MikanicolayIt's not uncommon for people to need space and time to process their thoughts and emotions after an argument, especially when they're dealing with external stressors as well. Here are some thoughts on how to approach this situation:

@Mikanicolay I am sorry to hear about the argument between you and your boyfriend and him wanting space from you. I do understand how you feel.

@Mikanicolay

I'm so sorry that you are not sure how is he doing after that argument. I can understand that you believe some other issues might be making him stressed.

For some people wanting some space while being stressed, is necessary as it is for me too. For others might not be same. 

Would you like to try reaching him now or after a week and let him know you are here for him in this time? This might clear his mind too that timeout he needed wasn't just because of argument but because of his overall issues and stress. 

Hey @Mikanicolay

I'm sorry that you are feeling distressed because of your bf wanting space after an argument, that may feel like ghosting. I can understand this might get difficult to deal with sometimes. Here are few things that may help to navigate through this phase better:-

1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings. Don't judge your feelings. It's okay to feel what you are feeling right now. Accept and embrace them all.
2. Be open and understanding. Everyone has different style to cope, for some people taking a break actually helps them to settle down the chaos in their head so that they can address the issue with a calm and clear mind later. When refused to give that space it often creates more havoc.
3. Be patient with yourself and your partner. It's okay to take a small break when things are getting a bit more overwhelming. You don't have to have everything sorted out every time. Silence is sometimes better than saying something that you might have to regret later! 
4. Let him know you are there. As you have mentioned that some external issues are also affecting him, he might be finding it even more difficult to navigate through all these issues effectively. Give him the space that he needs, but also let him know that you are there for him if he needs any help with other things that are effecting him, or ask if you can just sit beside him without saying anything to show him your presence and assure him that he has you back even if you guys are having a temporary fight.
5. Be Optimistic. It may not sound like a good advice during this time, but I guess it's good that your partner is trying to get his mind cleared rather than messing things up even more.
6. Take it as an opportunity to engage more with yourself. Do things that you have been putting off from a long time, perhaps because of your partner. Spend more time with your friends. Do what you love to do. Engage in some self-care practices. A good time to introspect or maybe meditate or try something new.
7. Communicate. After this matter settles down, have a real conversation & know more about each other including things that helps you cope, things that pisses you off, things that helps you to relax, etc. and try to find out how you can better help each other the next time such situation occurs. You can also ask about how he felt during that one week period, if it feels okay to ask so.
8. Embrace your journey. Arguments are a part of any relationship. Embrace each phase of your relationship, as it comes with yet another opportunity to have a deeper understanding, further strengthening the bond that you share with your partner and yourself!

This is how I see the best way to navigate through this situation. It differs with every person as these things are really very subjective. You are the expert on you. I hope this post be useful for you as well as for others, if someone is reading this. I wish the best for everyone! Take care🌸

P.S. Sorry for such a long answer. Thank you for reading it :)

@Mikanicolay

It's understandable that your boyfriend might need some space after an argument, particularly if he's dealing with additional stress outside of the relationship. Everyone processes emotions differently, and sometimes taking time to reflect and calm down can be beneficial before addressing issues.

While it might feel difficult or worrying, try to respect his need for space. It doesn't necessarily mean he's pulling away from you permanently—it could simply be his way of managing his emotions and thoughts during a challenging time.

When the time feels right, you could gently reach out to him to check in and see how he's doing. Express your willingness to listen and understand his perspective whenever he feels ready to talk.

In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and managing your own emotions. It's okay to feel concerned or uncertain, but giving each other space to process can often lead to more productive and constructive conversations later on.

Sending you strength and patience as you navigate this situation together.

Warm regards,🤗

It is possible that he might need space to level up his thoughts. It is a human response to break away from things when they are not in favor.

The best thing would be to approach him next week and talk things through.

@Mikanicolay

Its completely normal for people to need space after an argument and especially if they are dealing with stress in their lives. It sounds like he might be trying to process everything, which can sometimes take time. Its important to give each other the space to heal and reflect. Just remember that it’s okay to check in with him when you feel ready and make sure you are also taking care of yourself during this time.

@Mikanicolay It's completely understandable to feel uncertain about your boyfriend's thoughts, especially when you've been disconnected for a while. Keep in mind that everyone processes stress and conflict differently and at varying speeds. It may be helpful to check in to let him know you're there for him when he's ready to talk. Remember it's also important to focus on your own well-being during this break so you can both grow and learn during this break.

my wife and I are going through something very similar. Usually it takes her a few days to a week or longer to soften up. A lot of what is said out of anger and how we respond plays a large role in how long it takes for one to soften up. Believe it or not, the outside stressors also play a big role in how long it will take to recover or soften. I think it’s normal for a man to sort through what was/is said during a fight especially when the outside stressors have not been addressed or acknowledged. I also think that the more you mean to him the more time it should take for him to sort thru all the stress and once again find that spark that drew him to you like at the beginning of the relationship.

@Mikanicolay

@Mikanicolay Sometimes, people need lots of time to cool off. I need lots of space to cool off. Stating that he’s been stressed out somewhere else might explain why he wants space for that long. I hope things get better between you two.