Space After Argument
Is it normal that my bf wants space for over a week after an argument? He’s also been going through stress outside of the relationship.
@Mikanicolay I think answer to this may be subjective to one answering, some people like or are ok with space but some don't find it comfortable to wait or be patient
i need lots of space to function specially while feeling stressed so i can see why your partner may be feeling the need also
it's ok to be patient and compassionate with people while they deal with their emotions and situations they are on ... sometimes that's helpful enough!
would you consider letting them know you'll be around if they wanna talk sometime or something?
hope things get better for you both <3
@Mikanicolay
There are times when some individuals or people need a little separation and space to process information, emotions and events. The duration of time is definitely not a one size fits all, and may take longer for some.
I do sense your frustration with the sudden or maybe common reaction of space and distance after an argument by your partner. It can be an added stressor - for you. Why do you think he needs space? Time to calm down? Does he naturally inclined to self discover, or does he like to vocalize his thoughts?
How are things when the time has passed and a conversation resumes?
This was our first argument. Unfortunately at the same time he’s been stressed about money. He left out of town to work. It’ll be 2 weeks Monday since we’ve talked…
@Mikanicolay,
everyone deals with emotions and stress in a different way. All you can do it let him know you are there for him.
@Mikanicolay If he's going through something and you both have just had an argument, maybe he felt like he needed a bit of space to clear his thoughts cus he just had a lot going on. It's not that he has anything against you, its totally normal dont worry.
PS: If you wanna help him through it or support him or something, then you should consider writing him a love filled paragraph or make a voice recording. A few words from your soulmate sure feels the best.
Hello Mikanicolay!
This maybe a subjective answer as how people deal with arguments differ from person to person. I do know that I’m relpying quite late. Sorry about that.
Healthy arguments are part of healthy relationships. I understand that you are aware that your boyfriend has stress outside the relationship. Having a supportive conversation about the stress would make a difference as most find it comforting when people close to them listen to their difficulties too. People taking space would be subjective as some may find to easier to forget about the argument while some may reflect on the situation for the future and need some space. I hope this helps.
Sorry for the late reply and I hope both of you feel better❤️
I think it's good to have space but not more than 3 days
@blindAngle
I agree with this.
@Mikanicolay
i dont know its normal or not, but what i can say is that having some peace of miand will certenly helps you and your partner ot take moment to have thought on your relastionship and life in general for positive out come
@Mikanicolay
Hey 👋🏻
I see it's been over a month since you've posted this question, hope everything's going well there.
To answer your question, it truly depends on factors such as the communication style, methods for handling stress, problem solving, and others each of you prefer on given condition.
Some partners would like talk about the issues right away while some would like to take a few minutes or even days off to cool down and recollect their thoughts before engaging in a conversation.
If you are someone who'd like to talk immediately at the rise of an issue while your partner favours the opposite then, establishing a safe middle ground could help you both freely share/ take time off without leaving room for any negative thoughts to grow.
And this would be appropriate at a time when both are calm.
I would say that it really depends on how he usually communicates with you or other people, if he's more talkative, then maybe 1 week may be a lot, but if he's more of a quiet person then it may be normal.
He's probably just trying to understand everything that happened during the argument, understand his and your emotions.
It's understandable to feel worried about not being responded to after a week, but sometimes all we can do it's just wait and try to support that person as we can.
And it seems like as you mentioned he's been facing stress outside of the relationship, so that makes it even harder for him to process his emotions. Have you assured him that he can always count on you to talk about his feelings?
I hope you two get better soon and stay safe 💕
@Mikanicolay
There are situations when the other person needs both space and time, and this is sometimes difficult to accept. Especially after an argument. You also mentioned that your partner is stressed. May I ask if he has reacted like this before? Everyone deals with emotions in a different way. I hope all goes well!
It depends this is what my ex asked for and she kept me holding on for over a week...it can be used as emotional abuse aswell
