Anyone had any long term friendships go down because of...

@yellowBike1922

Hi there, this happened to me in two occasions. I have 2 friends that since uni (that means we've known each other some 15-17 years) with whom I keep in touch. We're all single, have similar worldview (agnostic/atheist) and don't seem to always fit in with society. This is a crew who gets me and are okay with it, I think that's why we didn't have a falling out when life happens. One bad habbit both of them have is they like to mock me like when we were students: how I can't find myway geographically, I don't know the taste of food, etc. It was all harmless laughter, but after 15 years it started to get old and annoy me. I mean we're adults now, can't they move on and grow up a little? Long story short, I snapped. My response to their mocking was quite strong and shows my distaste. And I decided that if they can't be bothered to grow a new pattern of friendship with me that is based on respect and understanding, maybe it's not a friendship worth keeping. So I don't reach out to them as often anymore, and neither do they (which speaks to the quality of the relationship). In a way, I am sorry we have a falling out and especially so sinc I don't keep many close friends. But on the other hand, I wonder if we were trully friends, and were they friends that I need.

@bubblePineapple241

This is like reading something I wrote because the exact thing has happened to me regarding an old friend of mine! We too have had a falling out a few years ago but we did talk about it and now things are okay, I guess. But we cannot be that close ever again since this person is very different now and I have changed too. So I guess it happens and it's okay and I'm kind of glad that although it's a casual friendship now it's not something we both let go of or forgot that easily. Glad to read your post!

@yellowBike1922

Yes I have too. We've all been friends for 15 years now but A lot of dynamics have changed over the last few years. People's income, world view, some are married, some desperately want to be, etc. It's quite hard to get through losing the people you are very close to, but once it's over it becomes clearer that it was for the better. And it's takes a lot of time too.

I'd rather not be friends with people who have turned to be selfish, miserly idiots. It gets intolerable to even pretend after a while, because all you can see is their transformation for the worse.

@plumBeechwood7549

(late response, only got around to reading this, kinda other stuff was happening that got my attention haha)

I feel like that is exactly how it is. I parted way with this colleague hallf a year ago (under the worst of circumstances, boy did I go down a road I didn't ever want to or see coming), and in hidsight I do realize I was never going to be friends or buddies forever. In a way I don't think we were truly friends, even though we had a good relationship and I got along great on work I never really wanted to stand beside him and do things with him outside of the work place utlimately. I guess it is inevitable, you can't get along with people you don't truly feel at home with.

@yellowBike1922

Yeah I totally get it. Life works in a weird way. Many times it can be good for us too. I'm glad though that it's on the past for you now. I hope you have better things and better people in your life now.

@yellowBike1922

A lot of long-term friendships can fade over time and you start growing apart because over 5 years, you both change a lot as people. It's very common and normal for friendships to wane after some time unfortunately. Working with a friend/seeing them all the time can speed up this process in my opinion, so it's always good to give yourself space. If the friendship is no longer bringing you happiness or offering anything positive, then I don't think there's any harm in gently pulling away from them. If you don't want to let go of the friendship though, then maybe not working together could be a good step in the right direction.