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yellowBike1922
2,403 M Hopeful Heart 4
PathStep 24 Compassion hearts75 Forum posts63 Forum upvotes66 Current upvotes66 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceAugust 21, 2019
Recent forum posts
Misery diary
Journals & Diaries / by yellowBike1922
Last post
 December 6th, 2020
...See more Don't know how long or if Ill update this at all, but if it's just one entry maybe that's something Last 8 months of my life have been a blast (not). Near constant anxiety, no job atm (hoping to start something soon, no guarantees). Have no real persons anymore I can feel I'm at ease with, which makes life in general a slow burner of existence where stress just keeps piling up in large proportions. Right now it's night and woke up in panic yet again, my mind just never really settles down. Hopefully tomorrow I'll find a way to relax some more (writing stuff has seemed to help lately, gonna see if I can make that work for something in thr long run).
Feeling so alone
Anxiety Support / by yellowBike1922
Last post
 January 4th, 2021
...See more Hey all, I've been having a rough year, had an "event" earlier this year that led to some PTSD symptoms and subsequent treatment (thankfully I recovered most from that). Other than that I've ben unemployed since, starting work again soon but it's gonna take time because I'm so weak mentally I need to build up some mental strength I guess (tried an intensive Yoga class 2 days ago, spoiler: didn't end too well, still feeling the effects of that one pshh). Anyway, I could deal with all of that but the most awful thing I find about all this is that, since I quit work earlier this year I lost the only place I feel like I could be myself and feel comfortable with myself. For the last 8 months I've very rarely had any space I feel where I can relax and enjoy and just not be hampered by my stupid social anxiety inhibitions. More than anything, I feel this the thing I find hardest: wherever I go, therapy, parents, "friends" (with which I'm awkward all the time of course), I can't help but feel weak and unconfident and just feel like the smallest most scared version of myself I can be. Can anyone identify? I miss having an environment and people I can chill with and be my somewhat more confident side so damn much. I feel at times I'm losing track of myself cuz all I feel is anxious, scared, unconfident anymore. It's such a trap because more than anything I just miss talking to someone and feeling close to someone just so damn much.
Anyone had any long term friendships go down because of...
Relationship Stress / by yellowBike1922
Last post
 December 18th, 2020
...See more Hi guys, has anyone here ever had any long term friendships go down because of something that alway seemed avoidable but now is catching up? I have this colleague/friend that I worked closely with for 5 years but all the things that always bugged me about him are now coming to the surface and it's not something that we can talk out (I tried, it didn't work). It feels so bad because he has lots of great qualities but in the end I feel deep down I just can't cope working/being with him (as a friend). Anyone else ever experienced this?
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