Most common reasons couples argue about

@caringLight the number one usually is about money. Finances are a hot button issue for many couples. But communication would help with that.

In my opinion:

1. Lack of communication.

Sometimes lack of communication between couples leads to them having misconceptions about each other causing rifts. I think that these misconceptions should be cleared as soon as possible and honest communication should be the sound track of all relationships.

2. Not spending enough time with each other.

People do want to work towards building their career and firming their own sense of self. So they might get caught up in their jobs or studies. Hence, see each other less often leading to couples getting distant. Jobs and studies are important, but I think that every once in a while, couples can remind each other of their importance.

3. Taking out the trash

The argument about who will empty the trash bin!

Agree with those <3 They are some due to arguments can take place in relationships.

Yeah ...lack of communication is the biggest problem

Right on for #1 and #2 with us, although love languages/what spending time together looks like is more specific. #3 would be parenting styles.

@caringLight for some reason I have a feeling my list of things argued about from my last relationship is way too long and intense haha I think we used to fight the most about me not getting enough respect and him not getting enough attention . Lack of communication is definitely a more normal one that I am sure most couples argue about as well as time spent together. Those are good ones I agree @loyalBlueberry6196 #ontobetterthings #movingon

@calidescopeheart Sorry to hear about Calide and those were lovely points. Thank you

@calidescopeheart

Exact same for us, reversed: he wants more respect/appreciation and I want more focused attention (vs. just being in the same room doing different things). Of course, if he feels appreciated he wants to spend more time with me, and if he's spending more time with me then I feel more appreciative. It's easy to get stuck when you're both not getting what you want/need.

1. finances

2. values

3. communication

@EvelyneRose Thank you for your thoughts Eve. Truly they are some of the causes for arguements.

I agree, lack of communication is one of the most common one's

@caringLight

1. Not giving enough time to each other

2. A third person who's creating a zone of insecurity

3. Television :P

@afriendindeed8

Third person yeah they are sometimes create lot of problems... True..

Lack of communication for sure, this is like the main reason. If there is communication, I believe you can work through almost anything. In time, I noticed that is pretty important to have as many things in common as possible with your partner as well. Many arguments can start when you both want to do different things. Similar personalities can be a huge help too, in my experience.

Common arguements:

1). finances

2). poor communciation

3). expectations/roles

@ShawnWilsonLCSW Thank you Shawn <3

@ShawnWilsonLCSW

Expectation is the most important point after communication mr shawn

@caringLight

I think there's always one who's more insecure in a relationship, and that often causes problems as the relationship is unbalanced. Most of the fight my boyfriend and I have is about disagreements or misbehaviors. Everyone is different, and it's hard sometimes to accept the other's opinion when yours is completely the opposite. (e.g. he thinks it's okay for me to watch movie with a guy, so therefore I shouldn't stop him from watching a movie with another girl)

@colourfulBlueberry62 Absolutely! Each person will have a different perspective regarding the rules of engagement. Its definitely worth the conversation as to what is considered appropriate behavior.

In my experience, it has been due to:

1) lack of communication, as in he thought it was alright to not mention something and I thought he'd understand why I felt as I did without having to explain myself.

2) Insecurities, both of us feeling unloved or unheard resulting in resentment for the other for making us feel this way.

3) Fear of the future, usually about finances and insecurities, as well as an attachment and fear of being on our own.

Well... they didn't go very far but what I did find was that communication was a huge thing, and also that trying to change a person can only happen if they other person is willing.. but you've got to love that person and accept that person as what he or she is regardless of the change. Just grow with each other, and enjoy sharing it with one another..

@reliablebutoftenforgotten

Yeah true

@caringLight

1)Communication gap so misunderstanding and that leads to arguments

2)trust issue problem so that again leads to arguments and

3)love each other but never express their exact feelings so becomes difficult to understand each other...

I was in a relationship and most of the time we argued about-

3. Quality Time

2. Romance

1. Jealousy

I guess being in LDR it was natural to have arguments on that matter.

Tagging some of my mates to share their views and discuss this topic.

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@ASilentObserver

In my last relationship we mostly argued about jealousy, time together and pet peeves.

1) Jealousy - This was mostly my girlfriend, but sometimes I was jealous too. I was the school's all-star point guard and JV quarterback, and with that, came a few things, including a lot of girls talking to me. Obviously I let them know I'm taken and we can be friends at most, but sometimes my girlfriend was worried which she had every right to.

2) Time together - This was another big one. I was busy with practice, games and honors classes. My girlfriend was busy with all the extra stuff she has to do for the criminal justice program at school, including volunteering at the police station, doing ride-alongs with officers, and helping with teen court cases. So it was hard to find time when we were both free and didn't have all those other things to worry about. Usually it was either a Saturday morning before I had to go to practice or Sunday after church.

3) Pet peeves - this one is kind of funny but would sometimes drive us both crazy. For one thing, I hate driving slow, and like to go right below the speed limit or a tiny bit above it (just so I don't get pulled over), and my girlfriend didn't like that at all and was either saying "Emirson, you're going to crash" or "If we get pulled over, it's all on you." For the record, neither of those happened. Another thing I did that she didn't like very much is that I would sometimes talk too loud on the phone. She called me out of it every time. One thing that used to make me irritated is when when I would be talking to my girlfriend and she wouldn't stop looking at the phone screen! The other thing she used to do is constantly talk during movies and then ask "Wait, what happened? I'm confused." Always made me want to say "Just watch the freaking movie and you'll know!"

@caringLight

I have never been in a serious relationship but I had flings with men and even then there have been arguments. For these flings, we have argued about...

1. The kinds of friends he hung out with

2. That he could only associate with me online because he could not handle being with me face to face

3. He was there for me when I needed him but he expected me to be there for him

4. That he treated me like a joke

5. He snubbed me at a funeral and pretended he did not know me

6. Who was smarter

7. Who understood what logic meant

8. Who got on each other's nerves and what they did

9. He didn't want to admit that he is arrogant and therefore think he's better than everyone else

10. Not to take his other female friends home with him at 4:00 in the morning

11. Why this other woman was a better friend for him

12. I get on his nerves 75% of the time

Money or financial problems

miscommunication or lack of communication

raising children or differences in discipline or child rearing

1. Thinking the issue at hand is more important than the love they have for each other.

2. Jealousy and possessiveness.

3. Feeling like your partner is your belonging and not letting them feel free.

Bordem

Money matters

Lack of Romance

Kids

Timings

So I got into a relationship after few months breaking up from a long term relationship. Well we both were having long term relationships before dating each other. His being fir 10 years and mine for 5 years.

We argue alot over comparing each other with our previous lovers. We both got cheated in our previous relationships so we don't have any trust issues for the moment as we both know how painful it is to get cheated on. But still we both tend to bring up about our old lovers. For instance although my ex lover wasn't the best in the world he always had time for me. But my boyfriend who I am dating now is so busy we rarely get to talk to each other. Either he's busy at work or sleeping cause he's too tired.

Whenever we argue we always bring up about the past lovers. Obviously not on purpose but it makes both of us jealous and angry and sad. I still have no idea how to find a solution for this.

Future

@caringLight

Lack of communication

Lack of understanding

Lack of love

What do you think are the 3 most common reasons that couples argue about ?

That question doesn't make sense. There are reasons couples argue ie. What are the 3 most reason couples argue?

And then there are topics that couples argue about. Ie. What are the 3 most common topics/issues couples argue about?

My answers to these 2 different questions are not the same.

For the first:

- because they disagree about a decision that must be made (and these arguements can be quite civil easily, depending on the underlying stuff)

- because of stress going on that may have nothing to do with the specific arguement (tends to be less civil)

- due to each expressing their differing opinions and having a conversation about it

For the 2nd:

- finances

- responsibilities (ie. chores, childcare, employment)

- quality time with each other (intimacy, how much one spends with their friends & other family vs. partner)

Communication, I think, is the biggest issue. Money comes right after that.

@baylinAnderson123

Three common argument topics when I was a part of a couple were -

1. This 2. That and 3. The other

But a lot of those other things too, like money and who's taking the trash out. Good topic and great insight, all of you!