I can’t seem to cope and move on
I keep thinking every day it will get a little easier, but every morning I wake up having hope for just a moment it was a dream. When I ended it recently with my boyfriend, I did it because he seemed to really need space from not just me but his whole life. I want to tell him I can help him through everything but I’m worried if I send him a letter, he will reject it now that he’s trying to cope on his own. How do I let go when I feel there’s still something good there. I know he would reach out if he really wanted to be with me, but it doesn’t make it easier knowing that. I feel I lost something really special. Should I give it one last shot?
@Happyclara66 It sounds like you made the right decision if he was really unwell. Hopefully at some point when he is feeling better after some time maybe you can give it another go. He has to learn to deal with his own issues before you can have a healthy relationship. I don't know if being friends with him would be an option? If space is the best thing maybe you can just try to see some of your friends more, connect with others you feel most close to. You can also maybe journal a lot or send imaginary letters with no stamp, which I used to do a lot.
Hi! Thanks for caring :) I have been spending all of my time on work, friends, writing, and exercising. I actually have been doing the letters daily to him, and I have a little less to say each day. I did send him one letter this morning. There was no call to action, I don’t want him to feel I’m encroaching when we said space was best, but I wanted him to know I still love him and want what’s best for him. I’ll keep up with trying to make myself whole. That way, if he rejects it, I’ll be ok on my own.
Hey, you ok? I feel the same with my ex, I want to keep trying but I know I shouldn't because its not what she wants, it is so hard isn't it to just leave someone alone that you are madly in love with, is there a way we could message each other, it would be good to gain a new friend as we're both going through the same it might help?
Hi! Thank you so much for writing back. I’m doing even worse today because I reached out yesterday in a super loving and supportive way, and he replied pretty horribly. It was demeaning. I didn’t write back, im going to just try my very best to move on from him. I hope you’re doing a little better! I’d honestly love to connect with you, I’m not sure how though.
I don't know if we're allowed to share any social media on here but I'm happy giving you my open public Instagram where we could chat?
I am really sorry to hear your doing worse today, mine is so confusing like hell and would love if we could connect somehow to help each other out
I'm going through the same exact situation. Its been two weeks since I ended things with my ex. He has a lot to going on. I really want things to work out between us but when I reach out he ignores me. Just know things will get better. Time heals all wounds.
Thanks so much for writing to me. I’m so sorry you’re going through the same thing. It’s such an incredibly debilitating feeling I’ve dealt with for almost a month now. I know things will get better with time, for myself, for you, we just gotta ride it out. Here for you! Keep smiling and finding things you love outside of the relationship :)
Hi, how you doing?
Hello. I just wanted to ask how you’re doing. You gave me incredibly wise advice and supported me with kind words when I was in a difficult situation. I think about you a lot even though I don’t know you personally. I hope that everything will work out for you as soon as possible. I feel that you are a really good person and deserve the best. I’m praying for your peace of mind.
That’s so sweet of you to keep me in your thoughts. I hope you’re feeling a little better every day, too! I hate to admit it, but it somehow makes it easier to know that every single person is dealing with their own struggles, and most people survive and get through. I’ve never known heartbreak like this, and I think it’s maybe because it feels unresolved, no real closure. It’s also so difficult to lose your best friend and partner all at once. Luckily, I have so many amazing friends who have been so supportive, and even people like you who I don’t know, but who have the pure compassion to completely empathize. I really appreciate you, and your words, thank you for caring :) though I don’t know what the future holds for this specific relationship, I’ve been feeling little doses of happiness recently that reassure me that in time, I will be happy again. xo
@happyclara66 I'm glad your getting some doses of happiness, friends and someone to talk to besides your ex is the only things that can get you through stuff. I'm getting ignored now even though we was completely fine 2 days ago and nothings changed so I've sent her a message letting her know how I feel about her and its now in her hands to chase me if she wants me because I just keep hurting myself everytime things seem OK and then its not again for no reason, you will be happy again by yourself and then eventually hopefully something good will happen
I completely agree with you. I think we all share something in common, which is that we are clearly working on ourselves and care about proper communication, and bettering ourselves and our relationships. It sucks chasing after people who have just given up. But from my perspective, it’s them, and not us. They all need to work on themselves, and once the space has given time, either they realize we were great partners, or we move on and realize they weren’t great partners. Either way, we all deserve so much more than an unreliable, selfish partner. The pain doesn’t really go away, but the scars from us, I truly believe, will make us stronger and better for the right relationship. The easy thing is to become cold and angry, but I hope you all, including me, can learn and be even more compassionate in the future. Doing the work to be positive and healthy is hard, but it’s for the best for us!
I do agree with you it is them and not us and I do feel like they need time to realise but its so hard to not think about them or try to call them because you miss it so much, I've focused on myself all day and its been good but as soon as I have time to think about anything I go back to where I was before, wanting to do anything I can to be with her, wanting to chase her again and I know what I should do but its so hard to just do it. My main problem is why did she spend a long time with me a few days ago laughing, talking, having fun and all of a sudden its like she's realised that we shouldn't be doing that as we're not together so now ignores me, people are so confusing and hard to know whats going on, it makes me wonder if being in any relationship is worth it at all
@hardywoo85 Yap, completely agree with you mate! Ikr, sometimes we just don't know what to do. Either we should let go, or fight for her.
I'm going through something similar as well. I ended things with my partner just a month ago and it still hasn't gotten easier. It's hard to stay away, I know. But you have to remember his and your personal growth is what's important here. If he needs the time and space to work on himself, you've no choice but to give it to him. I wouldn't recommend waiting tho I know how tempting it is. Because you'll never know the outcome will you? He might be a different person or want different things after that. And so will you. Sometimes couples grow in different directions. If you're lucky enough, they grow back together. But meanwhile, I suggest focusing on yourself and see where that takes you.