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mapotofu
1,002 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts125 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceJuly 20, 2021
Recent forum posts
Cheating long distance boyfriend
Relationship Stress / by mapotofu
Last post
 October 14th, 2021
...See more My long distanced boyfriend and I have known each other for 3 years and have been together for 2 years. He had a short term fling last November (slept together twice before he called it off). I had a hunch about it. Long story short I gave him multiple chances (at least 5) to come clean and he just continuosly lied about it. One day I realised I had his password from a very long time ago, and decided to try my luck on his Instagram. I managed to log in and I found the messages he exchanged with the girl in the past. I'd like to add he has a past of constantly running away from problems whenever I confronted him. He manipulates me into thinking everything is my fault. He basically gaslights me all the time. And he's a compulsive liar because he just can't stands confrontation. After we finally had the conversation about it, I could tell he's really apologetic and he regrets it deeply. I'm trying to find comfort in the fact that he stopped the fling on his on accord and he didn't continue till he got caught. How much I can believe that..I'm not sure. At the time he did it last year, we werent in a good place as a couple. He said he did it as a way to move on from our relationship. He was trying to see if he could replace me and soon realised he couldn't that's why he regrets in and ended it. He's also taken the first step in finally going to therapy - he had his first session last Monday. And from that he realised what a terrible person he's been to me. He says he wants continue going to therapy and try to be a better person. We're not exactly together right now. We agreed I need to heal, and he needs to sort himself out. But we still find it so hard to move on from one another. We don't even know if we want to. We still talk about whether we can make it through this. He said he's willing to go to couples counselling together to work things out. I know it's going to take a whole lot if we want to make this work. The trust is completely gone and idk. But he's my bestfriend. There has been couples who've worked through cheating and lies right? Would like some advice.
Really hurt
Relationship Stress / by mapotofu
Last post
 August 5th, 2021
...See more I'm drunk writing. I left my boyfriend about a month ago. And need some convincing that it was the right thing to do. We were doing long distance. Me in Malaysia, he in Hong Kong. We met in London while we were still studying there. We had originally plan to move to London together as I wanted to work/do my masters there. And he is from England. Ever since we got into a relationship I just felt like he didn't really appreciate me. He met a couple of guys that played games so he joined them. He would Skype me less because he always just wanted to spend time with them. And he was less loving than he was when we were in London. He even admitted he wasn't giving his all anymore in the relationship and doesn't know why. He even keep things from me like how much he actually smokes, or when a girl texts him. I feel like throughout the relationship he was just there but not really doing anything, not investing himself. And when I left, he didn't even stop me. No hesitation. Just let me go. It just really hurts. He used to put in so much effort when he was trying to get me. And once he did, everything stopped. I texted him saying we could be friends this afternoon, and he admitted to just ignoring it all day. Them said he didn't have time to talk to me because he had to go out for dinner I just feel so heartbroken right now.
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