Write a sad story in 6 words...

@limeCity1300

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. But it seems to me, life shapes us differently.

For most of my life, I lived to survive. And I can say I was very good at it. And I believe, should I ever make that decision again, I'd be able to survive just fine. But at some point in my life, I realized that living life that way made me unaware of other people's struggles. Because I could be strong, I assumed everyone else would have the same attitude in dealing with things in their life. But not everyone could or would numb their heart and let it turned to cold.

Some people continued to feel their emotions and continued to care about their surroundings even if it means things became difficult for them. And I was doing fine because I had mastered the art of not to care. But someone I care about didn't. And I still have another day to live. But he doesn't have that anymore. And it tore me apart to think, 'Had I known he was struggling, had I didn't focus only on my survival, had I been there for him, maybe things would have been different.

But we can't change the past. And to continue mourning about something that can't be changed won't do any good. So I want to try to focus on the people who are still in this life. I decided I don't want to let such a thing happen in my life again.

I try to be not as distant as I used to be. I try to be more expressive. To share a bit about how I feel about things to allow people to make a connection with me. Because I realize people would only want us to be there for them if they feel certain connection with us.

I guess sometimes I don't really like it. Because being this way. Because sometimes people only see it as me being emotional. While I'm just trying to share a bit of myself to make them feel more comfortable if they want to open up. But sometimes people take it the wrong way. And I just end up looking weak.

Sometimes it makes me question if I should just go back to how I used to be. But I don't want anyone I care about to feel like they're alone. Like they have no one to turn to. I want them to know that I'll always be there for them if they want me to be. And if sometimes life gets difficult because of that, if life gets messy, that's fine. That's just part of the dynamic.

It's just.. it feels sad for me because... There's someone I want to feel connected with. Someone I want to always be there for. Someone I would do anything for. But she might not want the same.

What makes me feel the saddest is not the separation. It's not that we have to live our own lives. But because it seems to me, she wants it that way because she doesn't understand my heart, because she thought I have some ill intention toward her, that what I feel about her isn't genuine. And if it's true, it must be hard for her too. But she thought it was the decision she got to make. For her own good. And though I want her to stay, I also want her to feel free to make any decision that she feels is good for her soul.

Isn't it sad how life can turn that way? How a misunderstanding between two people can get to the point where it seems impossible to go back to the good times it once was.

I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way too, or is it because I'm a complete mess when it comes to love. For me, it's not about what I can get. I just wish it doesn't have to end. Because I want to be able to always be there for her. Even if we're not together. Even if she chooses to be with someone else.

Because life can get hard sometimes. And it's not always easy to find someone who would be there for us when we're not in our loveliest form. It's not easy to find someone who will, at least, always try to be accepting and supportive in every step that we take. I wish she would always have that kind of person in her life. And if no one would do that for her, I would. But we can't force ourselves on someone. If they don't want us, we got to respect it.

Talking about survival, I know how to survive. But what's the meaning of life if I think only about my own survival?

Life is a decision. And I believe everyone should feel free to make a decision that they believe is good for their soul. And after everything that I've been through in life, for me, putting my own survival and well-being as a priority is just not good for my soul. Not anymore. I tried that. I felt lost.

Just to be clear, I respect and support any decision people make with their own matters. I know that sometimes we got to make decisions that we believe are good for ourselves, even if it's walking away from people we hold dear to our hearts.

And I don't want to do it, not because I'm a fool and can't think right for myself. Well... sometimes life gets hard because of the decision I continuously make. So yeah, sometimes I too would think that it's just a foolish thing. I guess it's just a coping mechanism or something.

But when life gets better, I wouldn't mind all the trouble. Well.. that's what love is. Love is not only about rainbows and sunshine. Talking about rainbow and sunshine, I might never even felt it if it wasn't because of her.

Yeah, she makes me feel confused and frustrated sometimes. And she kinda causes me trouble, because, well... I used to be good at surviving and now surviving doesn't even matter to me. So life gets messy at times because I care about her. Because how she feels, how my action makes her feel matter to me. And I know if I continue to stay on this path, I might still have to deal with all the troubles. But that's fine.

Because no one ever made me feel so loved and so cared for the way she makes me feel. And it's kinda odd to say this because I never even know for sure how she feels about me. Maybe everything is only in my head. Maybe some people just have that kind of magic. To make others feel amazing. I guess she doesn't even realize it. How I wish I could also make her feel the wonderful feeling she makes me feel.