I am back (TW)
I left because I thought I was good.
I thought I was better.
I haven't logged on in almost 2 years.
Kinda hurting. Pride wise.
I know it's ok to need help!
But at least I am here.
At least THIS is an option!
[Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to add TW to title since multiple posts in this thread contain potentially triggering content related to EDs and suicidal ideation]
Welcome back! You show your strength and wisdom plus humility
You got this!!
@juliak1968
Thank you.
I hope you have had a good day
@ClassicAnonymous17
Thanks, yes today is one of the better days ive had. Sometimes we must learn how to make ourselves comfortable (food, shower, good tv, ect.) I got it right today 😊
🎉Happy New Year! 2021🎈
@juliak1968
Thank you & Happy New Year to you as well
💖 If you are okay with that👍🏻
However you choose to celebrate be sure to be safe I hope to hear from you soon.
I'm not going to lie today thinking of you just messaging you alone that was a highlight point of my day. _ thank you!😊
@ClassicAnonymous17
Thank you, Im honored! I'm spending New Years Eve on 7cups while watching tv, so no drinking, but i have a license for flowers, so ill take a few puffs
Happy New Years eve! 🎉🎈🎊
@juliak1968
A few license to flowers
__ what do you know what that means?__
I was distracted with that last post. I'm sorry.
I don't know what you mean?
I don't understand.
@ClassicAnonymous17
Oh, sorry, I have a medical marajauna lisence, and another word the use now is flowers because the flower is the same as the buds. 🖐
Im not too high 👌
@juliak1968
OOHHH!
Gotcha!
I hope medical wise you are/will be okay!!
@ClassicAnonymous17
The medical type I smoke helps with anxiety and pain. Thank you, im gratefull for the new treatments, it really does help me.
I hope we all have a happy and safe new year and that we find everything in life we are looking for.
Blessings, Day
@juliak1968
AWESOME!!! Well put 👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻
@ClassicAnonymous17
HAPPY NEW YEAR🎉
@juliak1968
Happy New Year!!!🙂♥️
@ClassicAnonymous17
Just saw you wrote 2021 on the link.
I hope it is popular for a while today 🤗
@juliak1968
Popular? Why
@ClassicAnonymous17
Popular = More people startong off the new year optimistically🎉 2021
@juliak1968
GOTCHA 👍🏻🙂👌🏻
Hows your Friday going??
@ClassicAnonymous17
I took a 2 hour nap lol
Im just waking back up now. Its a good friday :-)
@juliak1968
___ JEALOUS!!
Nap sounds great!!!
@ClassicAnonymous17
Napping and snacking are side effects to smoking weed lol
I ate 3 hostess cup cakes then slept
😄
@juliak1968
Do not wanna be _that_ person.
I don't talk about food.
I have an eating disorder.
everytime I look at
food/think about food
immediately my brain turns it all into numbers.
But that does sound good!
@ClassicAnonymous17
Sorry you have that challenge! Im food challenged as ill often eat the wrong foods, im living in a Veterans program in a room with a small refrigerator and a microwave; no kitchen, no safe food storage other than that. They helped me find a decent apartment and save for a nice car. Hoping my new move into 2021 is smooth. Hoping you find peace in the present through 2021!!
@juliak1968
Do you like your apartment? Does it feel _ homey_ are you still adjusting?
* Thank you for the Wsihes/blessings😊
@ClassicAnonymous17
I dont move from this small room into my apartment for about 10-12 days or so, ive been invited to view a nice one and to fill out the application. Its reserved for me because i waited 10 months in this room on a list for my name to come up.
👌
@juliak1968
OH LORDY!!! 10 MONTHS!!!
you are very patient 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
CONGRATULATIONS!!! on going for the visit
@ClassicAnonymous17
Thank you, its a great program for Veterans, its rent free so we can save money while waiting. I managed to buy a very nice Nitro 4x4, and save 2k, now when i move, my rent amount is based on 30% of my income which will leave me with 50% more money left per month than i paid for the last 8 years in my old apartment.
A good helping hand program
@juliak1968 * Thank You For Your Service!!!!
@ClassicAnonymous17
Thank you so much!!🖐👀
@juliak1968
Sorry I was slow to catch on.
_ not the brightest light bulb
_ April 2021 my husband gets approved for his housing Grantsuper excited!!!
my husband did 14 years 4 years in the Marines 8 years in the Army and was discharged because his son passed away / FIRST marriage not my kid.
@ClassicAnonymous17
Im so sorry he knows that pain of loosing a child, we share that! It is hard to move on from that, very challenging on many levels 🖐
@juliak1968
Good morning!😊
How was your night?
Do you have plans for the day?
@ClassicAnonymous17
Good morning, its an uneventful day, no plans, just getting lunch on now. Hope youre doing well.
@juliak1968
_ uneventful here as well.
Washing all the bed blankets.
Hubby had the thermostat on 85 when I woke up this morning !!
Extremely unnecessarily HOT
Little one and I just did 10 min of yoga.
@ClassicAnonymous17
He wanted to make sure you both were warm :-)
Thats cute! You have a fun little yoga partner!
@juliak1968
I love the fact that it actually has adult poses and then on the side it's like little dancing bears that give kids options to do the easier like jumping jacks or stand up straight and spread your arms 😂
@juliak1968
Happy Thursday 🎉😊
_ how'd you sleep?
_any plans for the day?
@ClassicAnonymous17
Happy Thursday, I slept well and got a couple appointments done. Ive got on more at 2:00 then i can relax. How are you today?😊
@juliak1968
Today is just a lazy Thursday.
Little one said she wants her space and shut her door so I'm sure whenever she decides to be friendly and nice all that will change and it won't be so lazy anymore 😂
@ClassicAnonymous17
They are such little people lol
@juliak1968
Can you start a new thread post for us to chat. Back and forth on?
All day I've been trying to access the thread post to create a new one but my app isn't giving me that option
@ClassicAnonymous17
What do you want the new thread to be called?
@juliak1968
Chit chat between Juliak & CA17 😊
@ClassicAnonymous17
I think threads should be for anybody and everybody. Ive created 17 threads so far. We can chit chat anywhere on any threads. Pick one and tag me there.
In 2021 i resolve to listen to my therapist, look ahead, focus, and over come challenges 😄
SENSING YOU LOVE
💌💌💌💌
_ what are you up to?
@ClassicAnonymous17
Thank you ♥️
@juliak1968
Msg you later.
✌🏻👍🏻😊 * HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!!!
STAY Safe & healthy
@ClassicAnonymous17
Ok, take good care. Enjoy! 🎵😁
Link -->> My Poem Diary
@juliak1968
_ how are you?
_ any plans for the day?
@ClassicAnonymous17
Hello,
I had a nice quietly relaxing day with a 2 hour nap. I'm watching football yay! How are you today? Whatcha up too?
@juliak1968
Toddler is making me suffer through SpongeBob SquarePants _AGAIN_
We've been watching all DDDAAAYYY
Outside it's super cold muddy and raining
* What football team do you root for??
@ClassicAnonymous17
Awe, so cute, i remember those days watching lambchop lol . Right now im watching Green bay packers play the Chicago bears, i hope green bay wins. I have picked all the games and the person with the most wins gets a coffee and an apple fritter from duncon donuts.
@juliak1968
What's lambchop??😲
Never heard of it
@ClassicAnonymous17
Lamb Chops Play Along TV Show song that doesn't end - YouTube
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ0KNI18Udc
@juliak1968
Ooohhhh NO!!
I KNOW IT!!
My husband used to play that damn song when I was pregnant!!!😲🤦♂️
Super annoying
@ClassicAnonymous17
Lol yes indeed it can wera down any parents ha ha
Remember the tele tubbies? Lol my kids are all grown up now
@ClassicAnonymous17
Teletubbies: 3 HOURS Full Episode Compilation | Cartoons ... - YouTube
@juliak1968
During covid I introduced my daughter to Teletubbies
shelllllooovveeessss it!!!
I grew up on teletubbies!!!
I was LaLa for one halloHall when I was little
@ClassicAnonymous17
Raising my kids (4) was really great, lots of good memories! :-)
@juliak1968
I only have one kiddo.
I have two steps kids.
I've never meant.
They've voiced their opinions about me on Facebook and instagram. Breaks my heart but I can't change how they feel and I will not stoop as low as bribery.
Birthdays and Christmas time is about the time they start *branching out & for the past two years they'll make request for big amounts of money 5 days before my birthday
@ClassicAnonymous17
Wow! Youve got to stay on your game over there huh? GB Packers won today, there was 16 games today, last one plays at 8:20, its a good distraction. I decided to drink 3 beers and smoked. Its nice finding a way to relax without over doing it. How old, boy or girl? I had 4 step 1 half and 5 natural brothers and sisters; my dad was married 5 times
Smh
@juliak1968
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Happy your team won!!!
My father and mother are like that too.
And I was in and out of foster homes.
My husband's son is 8 years younger than me his daughter is 15 years younger than me.
My husband and my mother are the same age.
___ my family hates my husband for ALOT of reasons main 3.
-age
- I am his second wife
- & my husband is black
My siblings I have
One biological sister.
5 step Brothers.
3 step sisters.
By time I was 16 my mother had married three times.
My father has married 4 times.
@juliak1968
_ when I met my husband I was 19
We met at work.
We started the same day.
@ClassicAnonymous17
Blessings for happiness in your marrage
@juliak1968
Thank you !!!
_ what are you up to now??
@ClassicAnonymous17
Its the last nfl game of 16 played today. washington vs philly
@juliak1968
I don't follow football but I am happy for you 🙂
@ClassicAnonymous17 Thank you, its a good distraction on an otherwise boring kind of snowy night, were expecting about 5 inches, i like how clean everything looks!
@juliak1968
Football is a good distraction.
I just don't follow it.
Tonight here is clear skies 28°
I LOOOVVEEE the cold!
But I hate Icy roads
@ClassicAnonymous17 ive been putting on warm jacket hat n gloves and sitting outside on the front porch. The room i live in feels to small sometimes, i just need the fresh air :-)
@juliak1968
My cell is on 6%
✌🏻👋🏻😉 ___ Have a good night!!
@ClassicAnonymous17
Good night
@ClassicAnonymous17
Ttyt 😄😁🤗
Good morning 😊
@juliak1968
Good morning sweetie my morning has been anything but the average normal Monday.
Last night I placed an order for grocery pickup this morning I set my alarm 40 minutes early I'm going to do my makeup I don't have to do my hair cuz I shaved all my hair off my hair was falling out because I used to dye it three times every month _for 8 months. well I got up got dressed and everything I'm supposed to do to be a good responsible human being and my husband pulled up in the car I went to go get in the car the car shut off it would not start
_ continue
Okay car would not start contacting AAA the first customer service I spoke to he was really sweet whenever I get annoyed I look at things humorously he asked me okay sweetie are you in the safe location I said yes sir I'm safe hahaha I wasn't able to leave my house because my car battery is dead is okay at least you're safe and warm like I said it's 11° hear everything is snowy and icy. he said ma'am I see that your membership has ended let me transfer you heat transfer me over and the lady I got she was rude Beyond rude she she asked me what is your state in your ZIP code I told her what she asked and she left it said I don't work for them and hung up the phone. I looked at my phone as they went to the home screen I was like this lady just hung up on me. Now here it is 3 hours later I got off the phone with a customer service representative about 15 minutes ago he provided me all the information I needed to go ahead and pay for a new membership and I paid it I paid it up for a year and because I paid it up within the first week of the New Year I'm covered until March 2022 😉 🎉🎉🎉
then I contacted the grocery people told them that II ha a grocery order for early this morning but I wasn't able to leave do to a dead battery if you are an employee can drive the food to me I'll give you a $20 bill on the spot he said no ma'am we cannot do that you have to make an appointment and everything is filled up for today we have options for tomorrow. But hey you know what I'm happy I'm safe
__continue
I'm safe I'm happy in the house I have a little bit of food here.
I have food about my 4 year old toddler eat we're not going to starve we're all good.
How are you doing sweetie??
How'd you sleep??
@ClassicAnonymous17
Im good, just had 1 appointment this morning and that got cut short so now im looking around on 7cups. Its a good day over all, ill betcha you and your child are enjoying eachothers company today, whats on tv for you both to enjoy? i enjoyed raising my kids :-)
My buddy just gave me an ice cold budweiser mmmm it was very good. I won the nfl football bet for most wins yesterday yay! Its going to be a relaxing day today flowers for everybody 🎈🎉
@juliak1968
🌷🌸🌹🌺🌻🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸🌷
All of the flowers for you!!!
my daughter and I we just made it home we have been dealing with this car issues since about 7 this morning it's now 2:01
Literally as I pulled in the driveway and my check engine light came on ☹️🤦♂️😓
I can't deal with anymore today I haven't eaten today on the way home I did stop for a spicy chicken patty just the Patty
My daughter was good given the fact we've been out all day at the mechanic shop
She did not like the sound of the mechanic shop that was a bit much for her.
A Budweiser sounds good but I'm more of a whiskey person
_Woodford Reserve ♥️♥️
**
How was your appointment???
@ClassicAnonymous17 ♥️🥀
My appointment was nothing more than trying to log in on a site with no luck and we ended it lol
We're in the same time zone, its 2:15 now here.
@juliak1968
Do you play Yahtzee With Buddies???
@ClassicAnonymous17
Hi, yahtzee?, i havent played in years, are you two playing now?
@juliak1968
Yahtzee with buddies Google apps game ___ love your new profile pic
@ClassicAnonymous17
A freind of mine saw this white deer and took 3 photos, pretty deer for sure
@juliak1968
Finally my 7 cups app loaded this entire thread I don't know why it was loading randomly.
Nevermind I'll make you a newN thread🤦♂️ _ sorry
* How was your Thursday??
@ClassicAnonymous17
Thursday was a bit of a crewl joke
Today im trying to make a big decision. So im texting my therapist for advice.
Hows everything with you?
@juliak1968
Why do you say Thursday was a cruel joke did something happen is something wrong??
@ClassicAnonymous17
No not really, im just weighing pros and cons of a nice place i checked out yesterday. Conflicted about taking the apartment. Its a one bedroom small but perfect
@juliak1968
If it fits your needs sweetie space-wise and meets all the necessities and requirements you had asked for I feel you should go for it __ just an outsider looking in
@ClassicAnonymous17
NO SMOKING ANYWHERE ON THE PROPERTY, NOT EVEN IN YOUR OWN CAR. I smoke medical marajauna
Id need to vape, by patches, and try to quit to avoid big hassles
......but, its all on my outlook. So if i look at just that it'll get me out of the house more - it could be all a good thing.
But dam- she told me to my face "if i catch you having smoked by checking the central air filter, she said "I'll fine you until you cant afford to live here"
SMH
@juliak1968
Goodness!!
I mean in one way it's great that she was bluntly honest with you but in the other way people have their habits.
It is entirely up to you all I can do is listen 🙂👍🏻 Do you have another place in mind??
@ClassicAnonymous17
I told them to allow me the weekend to think about it. I thought about it last night and all day today. i may just keep on looking, that was just the first one.
@juliak1968
it is great to know that you didn't just jump in with the first thing and you thought about it at least you stayed level-headed!! 👍🏻😊
@ClassicAnonymous17
I felt manic and overthinking it still lol
Level headedness doesn't come ez
Id still might take it lol, ive gotten nothing done ;-)
@juliak1968
Do you have plans for the weekend????
@ClassicAnonymous17
Nothing planned, i may do laundry or go shoppong, but maybe nothing at all 😃
@juliak1968
A lazy day full of wonderful possibilities sounds great!!
Minus the laundry the laundry is never great. 😂
Have you heard of this song
* SonReal - Can I Get A Witness
This song has had me perky for the past two days!! Goofy but catchy!!
@ClassicAnonymous17
You made the weekend sound much better than mine!!
I'll search for it to check out now. Ive never heard of it but might have heard it before. Ill let you know
@ClassicAnonymous17
Yea, that was catchy, thanks🎵
@juliak1968
The weekend statement I made was just recap of what you had said you were going to do for the weekend.😂🙂👍🏻
This weekend my hubby and I are going to watch _Paranoia Agent
I've never seen it my husband picked it he said it's a good show.
_ have you heard of it?
_ have you watched it?
* Pick one Up-beat song you would like me to listen to & I'll listen to it in the morning
Paranoia Agent is a cartoon i think..... i googled it, ive never heard of it though. I hope you enjoy it!!
@juliak1968
Eminem- guess who's back 😂
Definitely a throwback!!!
Catchy and silly
Man or muppet- Jason Segel
My hubby and I go around singing this around the house drives our little one nuts😂
* What are you up to??
@ClassicAnonymous17
Ill look it up shortly, thanks. Ive had trouble feeling a little overwhelmed today overthinking about the apartment. I rolled a joint and will smoke that to help me relax so i can sleep well tonight like last night. Im still waiting hoping my therapist will contact me, she is always helpful.
Im watching Star Trek now, but going to look up Man or muppet😄
@ClassicAnonymous17
Man or muppet was good, you both must have fun signing that together.🎵🎵🎵
@juliak1968
Ohhh YES we -huby & I - love singing goffying around the house!!!
We are ALWAYS singing Buffy once more with feeling song to each other.
We have all the Buffy seasons on DVD & in the car we have Buffy once more with feeling CD & during 2020 my hubby had paid for a cameo by Nicholas Brendon
😍 he sung to me !!!
Cried Big time !!!!
Does smoking help you rest better??
@ClassicAnonymous17
My x and i used to dance Ren & Stimpys Happy happy joy joy butt banging skit (Google it)
Yes, smoking that helps calm my thoughts so i can stay grounded and be able to sleep.
@ClassicAnonymous17
https://www.google.com/search?q=Ren%20%26%20Stimpys%20Happy%20happy%20joy%20joy%20&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b-1-m
@juliak1968
Happy Happy Joy Joy 🙂
I llllooooovvvvveeeeee that song !!!
I definitely needed that this morning.
I woke up feeling kinda down.
_ were you able to put out of your therapist last night?
@ClassicAnonymous17
Good morning, Yea, that used to be a fun memory.
What are you asking me about my therapist?
@juliak1968
I'm sorry I just realized what I put in that previous thread.
when it's early in the morning my Logic tube in my brain does not work like it should 😂
what it was supposed to say was were you able to get a hold of your therapist last night?
@ClassicAnonymous17
Oh, no worries, i have that brain delay too. I texted her but she didnt get back to me yet. She will respond at some point. She will probably encourage me to make my own choice. I know im not the easiest client lol
@juliak1968
Right now I'm in the middle of chit-chatting with my therapist.
How was your night how did you sleep?
My hubby last night when I plapla the Eminem song you suggested he came in the bedroom he said why are you listening to Eminem in 2021 while just laying in bed😂
_ I do listen to Eminem
One of my favorites is Eminem Square Dance !!!
you said we have the same time zone I'm really curious to know how cold it is where you are?
Here it's 29 degrees with a feels like 24
@ClassicAnonymous17
Its 33 degrees feels like 33 degrees lol
A nice day, i slept good. Im still very conflicted about if i should take that apartment. It would be great if it leads to me quitting smoking.
@ClassicAnonymous17
Same, I'm here after 3 years, possibly the best 3 years of my life. And now I'm back to the start.
I'm not that worried though, I feel like I'm stronger than the last time. And I'm sure you are stronger too. Always keep in mind that you felt good for 2 years and there's no reason why it shouldn't happen again. Bad times come back, but so do the good things. Stay strong!
@ClassicAnonymous17
Welcome back..
It's very good you take this decision when you know you need to be here ,this because you still have a chance to be better again.
. 😴 Keep going you are in the right place
Good morning to all members on this thread!! I read some nice conversations going on, very supportive! Today is the 29th day in a row ive worked on my path so i should get the 30 day badge tomorrow. I hope your day is off to a good start.
Blessings, Day
😄Yay!
Hi so I am new here I have recently been diagnosed with BPD and I am feeling very lost and unsure of what is me and what's not I've been doing a lot of research on it and everything seems to tell me what it is not what I can do to help myself.. so I am here stuck in a rut. Any replies, or advice is so appreciated Reading this thread has made me feel comfortable about posting here so if I am in the wrong place sorry in advance 🤦