Conquering your Goals: Dealing with Setbacks
Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Perhaps one of the most important factors determining whether our goals are met is our approach to setbacks. In an ideal world, we can do all the things we wish to reach our goals in the manner we find best suited but life usually has other plans. Unfortunately, no matter how solid your goal-setting skills are, you can not weave out all possible setbacks. Therefore a better mindset is to expect setbacks and be ready with our tools to tackle them.
But I understand and empathize with the reality that on an emotional level, it's not that simple! So let's first reflect on some realities.
Here are some reminders in the form of affirmations to help you make peace with the fact that you will face setbacks. Please say these out loud. You can save them and read whenever you need to
- I am only human
- I am allowed to make mistakes
- I do not need to be perfect, I embrace my imperfections
- My worth is not tied to my goals
- I am capable of navigating setbacks
- I can go as slow as I need to
- Some progress is still progress and is worth celebrating
Think of your goals and the tasks you have set to reach your goals as a creative problem to solve. We do not need to feel bad, guilty, or ashamed for not reaching them for not setting the right tasks, or not following through. Instead, we approach this with curiosity. So when you inevitably reach a point where you have to reconsider some part of your journey, approach it with curiosity and compassion like you are helping a dear friend figure it out.
Here are some tools and techniques to utilize when dealing with setbacks
Focus on your response
Be flexible in your approach to your goals. When unexpected things happen, be open to adapting your plans. For example, if your goal is to become healthier and one of the ways you wish to work on health is by walking 30 minutes every day but it is raining today! You can either decide to take a rest day if it does not rain often or if it does then try an indoor walking workout instead.
Similarly, you wished to be more mindful of your expenses but your fridge broke. Instead of worrying about not meeting your budget, explore the most financially responsible way of dealing with the setback, perhaps you need to get it repaired rather than buy a new one or maybe you should get a used fridge instead of a new one etc
The 2-minute rule
This rule is most helpful for times when you fall off the wagon and you are now at risk of giving up on your goals. The rule is simple, you will do the thing you need to but you are only required to commit to 2 minutes. So you said you would run but you skipped out for a few days, all you need to do is run for at least 2 minutes today.
What this does is it helps you get back on track and build a habit. Getting into flow and building a habit is more important in the long run. This helps you be consistent with your goals
Ditch the all-or-nothing thinking, embrace the grey!
Some progress is still progress! Just because you are not where you wish to be, does not mean it was all a waste. You wanted to run 5k but could only manage 1k, it's still better than where you started! You wished to save 20% of your income but managed only 5%, it's better than the 0 of last month! If you are better than where you started, you did well!
Reflect on how realistic your goal is
If you find yourself consistently falling behind on the tasks you have set to reach your goal or you do the tasks but don’t reach the goal, there is a problem with the goal you have set or the tasks you are doing.
For example, you want to be active and you have pushed and pulled yourself to be consistent at the gym and its been a month, you have only gone 10 days and you hated it. Maybe its too soon? Maybe its not for you at all. Consider walking instead!
Another example is that you wished to cut down screen time, you did all your tasks you set out to do. You spend time on other activities, you have scheduled more time with friends but still you find yourself drawn to those social media notifications. Maybe you need to add a task of deleting X apps, maybe you can’t resist as well as you thought you could
The task of the week! (Please complete both)
- Say to yourself the affirmations listed in this post. Just tell us it's done!
- What is one setback that may come your way in relevance to the goal you have set for yourself in our goal-setting techniques post and what one method from this post can you use to overcome it?
Further reading
How to Stop Procrastinating by Using the “2-Minute Rule”
This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here.