@calmmoon2104
Aw Taru, I'm really sorry to hear having intrusive thoughts have made your anxiety feel worse lately. :(
Intrusive thoughts can be so pesky at times, not leaving us be in peace, it's a constant struggle to keep them at bay.
I hear it's specially difficult at night, preventing you to get any rest too, really valid to feel hatred towards these pesky thoughts and the challenges they bring for you. Living in what feels like a constant war between yourself and these thoughts can be so difficult, I see it's adding to your anxiety more. :/
Its okie to feel confused about what to do or say, I get it's an overwhelming experience, and when it's rather constant, the impact is felt in our daily life/ chores and overall wellbeing too.
The fact you could acknowledge them as intrusive, and express here how you feel is so commendable, I'm so proud of you for trying your best!
When we are in constant fight with something, the impact is closely felt and the more it captures our attention, the bigger it seems.
Would it help to identify these thoughts as passerbys, and find a space for them to let-go? (Let go, here is an expression towards finding them a space to "transfer to", from your mind, could be talking to someone you trust, someone in 7 cups, a journal if you prefer writing about it and how you feel, visualizing and through art etc whatever you're more comfortable with)
They aren't *yours* to keep, hold onto or ruminate about. And you deserve a break from them! 💙
What helps you cope with anxiety better? Maybe we can try to strengthen our safety toolkit to keep handy, to help us ground back in present.
Sending more resting beams your way, I hope you can find some calm soon. 🤗
