PL 101: Systems vs. Goals (Discussion 4)
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Hello Leadership Crew!
Welcome to our 4th discussion in this first course. In todays discussion, we will be talking about systems vs. goals.
To start, please read this post here  and watch this video.
The basic argument here is that having a system is better than having a goal. A system is a way of behaving that helps you move towards accomplishing something. A goal is usually and end state that happens after you have accomplished something. I think eating healthy is a good example. A goal might be to lose 10 pounds. In this case, you feel kind of bad about yourself until you hit that goal; and then, once you hit it, you kind of lose the purpose because the goal has been reached. If you relapse and gain wait again, then you fall back into feeling bad about yourself again. Contrast this with a system of eating healthy. A system might include things like: having a big glass of water prior to each meal; eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, and nuts; not eating after 9pm; and/or doing some level of intermittent fasting. You wouldnt integrate all of these new healthy eating behaviors at once. Instead, youd gradually introduce one and then another and then another over whatever period of time makes sense. The system enables you to continuously get healthier and healthier. You will eventually reach the goal, but itll be the byproduct of eating healthy.
Another example might be education. I dont really care all that much about grades for my kids. I mostly want them to learn and enjoy learning. We talk about what they learn, we draw things, they make their own educational videos, they explain things to me in their own words etc. I want them to have a system of learning and refining their perspective on things. If they have this system, then having good grades will be a natural result of enjoying learning.
This also has implications for 7 Cups as well. We might have goals of having a certain amount of group support messages or 1:1 messages. Those are fine goals to have, but we mostly want to create a system of support where people care for one another and then the natural result is an increased number of messages. Or, zooming back, think about this leadership development program. We could have an arbitrary goal of training a certain number of new leaders to serve our community; or we can co-create a system - this leadership development program - that helps people become leaders. The natural consequence of the program will be a higher number of trained, competent, and strong leaders that can better support our community. Â
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
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What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviours you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
I need to work on setting the right boundaries in my personal life in terms of how much time I spend with someone, not engaging in triggering topics, and how someone is allowed to speak to me.
Some of the behaviours I need to implement includes saying no to people when and where necessary, not laughing on and not taking jokes which feels like insulting to me, refusing to take comments on my appearance, saying no to discuss topics I am not comfortable indulging in, to openly express how much time I can devote to a person for personal conversations, not to agree with other’s perspective if I am not comfortable with.
@Resilientlucky You got this! You deserve this 💜
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
I would like to be able to appreciate myself more and give me the credit I deserve. If I saw someone treating somebody the way I have treated myself before I would be really upset at them.
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
- Journal often so I can reflect on the things that happen during the day.
- Practicing self-care.
- Being more organized when it comes to setting goals and the steps to accomplish them.
@Andyallen
Hey Andy! I thought this post was so great~ I really think sometimes we forget that we are also human and will end up treating ourselves worse than others around us. For me, I sometimes beat myself up about not accomplishing the goals I set for myself. So system setting would definitely help me with appreciating myself more too. I think the behaviours you put in place for your system are great, and I wish you all the best in keeping up with them 💜 You got this!
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
- I think it would be to not do many things at once, I tried doing it once but I just ended up having a breakdown.
- Go easy on myself and understand that I am trying my best to things.
- Finish the things which I started.
What are 3 behaviours you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
-Patience: I really need to learn how to be more patient and try to be more comfortable with long-term systems.
-Self-care breaks: It is important to take breaks in order to work efficiently.
-The last thing would be to learn how to not take constructive criticism personally, as it is an important part of growing up.
I think the key system for me is to start saying NO to people. Start thinking of myself 1st, start being number 1 in my life. I know I have a huge heart and I give away too much of it. 3 behavours 1) Start saying NO. 2) Start meditating more 3) Start journalling.
Hi, I did post this before but now cant find it.
Mine is to start saying no to people and taking onboard other peoples problems like to stop trying to rescue them.
I have to stop feeling guilty for saying no.
I have to start taking care of number 1 first.
I have to do more meditation and journalling.
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
To let go of what I can't control
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
Admit that I am not perfect
Look at what I can control about the situation
Instead of looking at what I can't control, take control of what I can control instead of just looking at what I can control
@wonderfulRainbow817 that's a great system to implement, it seems unachievable but i know we can both get there <3
@GlenM hello
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
a system i need to set up in my life to help me succeed is actually the one you've already mentioned, eating healthy :) i've already implemented this.
My key system: to feel proud of my acomplishments
3 behaviors to implant: writing them down in a journal, sticking to a plan to earn more accompliments, and hanging the certificats on a wall instead on inside a musty folder
The system I want to set up for myself is a consistent self-care system so that burnout doesn't happen and takes me away from the things that I love doing.
The three behaviors I would like to implement are:
1) Create a daily self-care checklist for me including more complicated things like meditation and simple things like putting moisturizer on my face.
2) Keep my calendar up to date and no more than 50% full of appointments. Too many appointments wear me out and I need to make sure that I have quiet downtime to get things done
3) Plan every week's tasks in a single swoop at the beginning of the week. I have a planner that I created for myself and now I need to consistently use this planner to manage my time.
Finding my ideal way of communication. I need to find a middle ground between formal structured communication and "way too causal and uninhibited" communication.
What are 3 behaviours you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
1. Observing how others in my social groups communicate and respond to different things.
2. Going through the literature and other content available on communication skills.
3. Actively incorporating whatever I learn and see how it works in practical scenarios.