Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? Thank them. How did you feel? Grateful Why do you think you reacted and felt that way? Because I appreciate feedback, What would you do differently after having watched the video? I would still be grateful and thank them.

How did you react? I tried to keep as calm as possible because the comment was inappropriate but I accepted it!

How did you feel? I felt that I was not doing the right thing in what I am doing because there are people who understand me in the wrong way!

Why do you think you responded and felt this way? I responded because I probably understood the situation from my point of view only and not from the point of view of the other party, so I accepted it as it is.

What would you do differently after watching this video?

I will be more patient and calm and not let vanity control the conversation and be more responsive and accept different points of view even if they contradict what I think.

How did you react? I tried to keep as calm as possible because the feedback ffeedback was inappropriate but I accepted it!

How did you feel? I felt that I was not doing the right thing in what I am doing because there are people who understand me in the wrong way!

Why do you think you responded and felt this way? I responded because I probably understood the situation from my point of view only and not from the point of view of the other party, so I accepted it as it is.

What would you do differently after watching this video?

I will be more patient and calm and not let vanity control the conversation and be more responsive and accept different points of view even if they contradict what I think.

@Heather225

I didn’t really react when I received the feedback, I just listened and nodded. I did feel a bit upset, like I wasn’t doing what I should be doing. I think I reacted and felt that way because I didn’t like the feedback. After watching the video, I feel must better and I understand that receiving feedback is the way to grow and improve.

I wasn’t too excited but I took it in stride and listened to the other listener that was giving me feedback on a test that I done. I barely failed the test so it made me feel worse but I can redo it so I want to better myself for the next time I take it. After watching the video I’ll make sure next time to take it more in stride.

@glowingSoul93

That's good to hear

@Heather225

I recently received feedback at my current job position, and I handled it very well. I used to not be able to handle feedback very well, however, I realized that feedback is given to help not to criticize for almost every situation. When I received this feedback at work, I felt optimistic because I knew that I had time to improve and work on my current task. I believe I reacted this way because I have taught myself to be more understanding when receiving feedback from others. After having viewed this video, I think that I will continue making sure to accept feedback with a positive mindset.

@magicmango26

You know without feedback, we will not be able to grow

@magicmango26

That is true. It is important to have a positive mindset about feedback. It is also good to hear how well you went as well.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Answer: The most recent feedback I received was from 7cups that someone reported to me that I was asking for personal information which was literally not true. I never ask anyone about their information even if it is as trivial as their age

I reacted by adding in my bio that it is against community guidelines to share information so kindly do not ask for it and do not share it with me.

I felt so sad and hurt because It was about the behaviour I had not committed.

I think and reacted the way I did because I felt that it was unfair to receive this kind of feedback. It hurt me because I had put my time and effort into the chat but what the member did was wrongly report me.

After having watched the video, I would receive feedback without being defensive because it is about my work and not me. I would try to see that the other person's intention is not to hurt me but to let me improve my work and progress in my field.

@Zarram77

sorry to hear that, probably some miscommunication

@Zarram77

It can be especially hard to receive feedback when something is not true or you don't agree with it. I have had similar experiences in the past.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I am very open to feedback! I feel like feedback can help us improve or even reflect on our hard job! It is also a way to take a break and figure out how we can improve and get better in our field! Feedback also helps us to avoid mistakes, evaluate ourselves and our work and also how others perceive us! I have been used to receiving feedback! I try to take into consideration all kinds of feedback I receive as I am a person that always wants to find ways to improve and get better! The video helped me a lot and I will continue being open to them and trying my best to improve!

@ASilentBunny

That sounds amazing Bunny! *gives you all the feedback 😋*

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video? My last feedback was my first. I was really worried and was shivering when was about get the feedback. Before i got them i checked i again look at it. now i was ready, I kept my head down and heard what they had to say, after the main anger ego was gone now i realised that there was a good many points were right. I needed to work hard, show that you care, be precise and help him learn how he can get better.

@Heather225

I was afraid of any negativity that would be there in the feedback and was defensive.

After seeing the video

i would try not to be defensive and take all feedback positively

I also get anxious when it is time to receive feedback but I guess I should get excited. It is another chance to grow, and I also may receive good feedback as well.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

This is an area I am still working out, now hear me out. Hearing feedback will depend if it is a positive or a negative one. Now, for me hearing good feedback, it feels good, however, if the feedback is negative, sometimes I get defensive ( this is the part I am working on, )

How did you feel?

Responded above

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I believe sometimes I don't want to hear the negative side and sometimes I may think it is like an attack.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Not just pertaining to the video, but this is a lesson learned in real life. Feedback shouldn't only be positive, however, it also depends on how the message was delivered. I rather someone approach me in a respectful manner than scold me. Also, it's about listening and talking yourself to calmness.

@KBeauty12

I feel the same way, negative feedback is very hard to hear, especially if the other person isn't being respectful of you. Most of the time I can take negative feedback if the other person is coming from a good place and not trying to tear me down. I feel like it does take a really big person to step aside and allow the shots to fire without taking it personal.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

In my career, feedback is huge. I enjoy getting feedback, because it means a path has been opened for me to improve. I take feedback very seriously and always encourage my boss/peers to give me any sort of feedback without holding back.

@Dan76

That sounds amazing Dan, just the way it should be ^^

@Heather225 Being open to feedback and seeing it as a learning experience can only be beneficial to your personal growth. We can only learn when we are open to listening.

@Shadowmoonmoon

Being open to listening is indeed a key factor, thank you for that post Shadow! 💜

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

How did you react?

I'll reply in the context of negative feedback since I think positive reactions to positive feedback are a given. I take them in stride usually. I accept it and thank them for it, even if sometimes it's obviously an attack at me. I don't want unnecessary and pointless conflict just because someone wanted to take one out on me.

How did you feel?

I don't feel much usually. I don't take feedback to heart before review. People will say what they want and that coexists with my right to ignore them if I so desire. I'll only absorb what I think is beneficial for my growth.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Because I have a secure sense of self and am capable of thinking through what is and what isn't for me. Oh, and experience with handling feedback. I think at some point you get used to the emotional impact and learn to deal with it well enough that you can actually focus on the utility of the feedback itself.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Not much, tbh. I think my current system is fine, I'm not experiencing any problems with it, and it already incorporates a lot of what was being talked about in the video anyway.

@Elise849

I know what you mean when you say that some feedback is the other person looking to attack. Depending on the field you work in a lot of times you get a lot of feedback whether you're receptive to it or not. Sometimes there is not much more you can do.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I didn't remain calm and collected, that's for sure.

I felt almost as if my life, and my actions etc aren't good enough for their "Opinion".

Well I don't take feedback very well, but there's also a difference between constructive criticism, and simply being negative.

After watching the video, I will try to focus on their true intentions, as well as see what I've done wrong and try to fix it. Nobody is perfect, and we can all improve. So Coming at it with a positive mindset can help learn instead of negatively pushing it out.

I think you made a really good point. It is hard to hear negative feedback but you definitely have the right idea on how to keep it from letting you down.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I get a lot of feedback professionally and socially. I think it's because I am always looking to improve but when I do hear that I'm not doing as good a job as I thought I was it does hurt. I don't allow myself to dwell on it though, I usually take responsibility and build an action plan to fix the behavior and improve for myself and those around me. After watching the video I think I'd like to start thanking people for their feedback instead of saying sorry because I think telling someone thank you is far more sincere. I also think that asking for advice on how to do better and following up with the person giving feedback are great ways to ensure that your performance is meeting expectations.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I thrive on feedback, it’s how I learn, when it is constructive it means it’s a balance between learning and taking responsibility for my own actions, I did that, nobody told me to do it, I make the active choice to do it and if it didn’t match the expectations then we’d discuss the issue and I would learn from it.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I appreciate feedback - that's how I improve and continue to grow. However, I think I learn more from critical feedback rather than the fluffy "atta girl" stuff. Some people shy away from it, but I don't mind negative remarks. I take them in and learn from them. After watching the video, I wish I had been more diligent about following up after receiving feedback.

@Heather225

I was reasonably happy with most of the feedback that I received. It was good to hear that my work was appreciated and also how it was interpreted by my peers. There was some feedback for improvement of my work and this was a bit hard to accept at first, but I thought I had to open my mind and be willing to accept other opinions that could help me to improve. I agree with the video; we should not take feedback as being a personal attack. It is a great opportunity to improve and it is also a sign that somebody cares. They would not give us feedback at all if they did not care.

@Heather225

Hey Heather, this one was really hard for me, but I will try my best to complete it successfully.

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

So actually, this is the hard part for me. I don't know why that is, but especially on 7Cups I received very little feedback. Or maybe I did, but it was always positive, not often constructive feedback that could help me to improve. But as the video stated, sometimes we have to ask for advice. Maybe I should do that more often.

I do have one example though. On the Care Team all guides were given a refresher training form. I did feel pretty comfortable about it, and still I made two mistakes.

How did you react?

I did not react badly, just a bit confused. I was thinking that maybe I would not be a good fit as Care Team Leader, as this was something that I was discussing with the Ambassador at the time. So I wrote them and joked about if they would really like me as the Care Team lead, when I am obviously not perfect. I think I like to joke when I get criticized, it takes the pressure away.

How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Confused, mainly. And maybe a bit disappointed in my abilities. I think I felt this way because I have been on Care Team for quite some time and thought I know how to handle requests.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Probably I would still make jokes about it! But I would try to take it less personally, everyone makes mistakes and that is okay. That was the whole purpose of the refresher training. To see the mistakes, and improve there. After all, that is what I always want. To improve.

So thank you Heather for this wonderful post, and thank you, whoever is reading this, for giving me your precious time for a moment. You are awesome! 💜

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel?

Not the most recent, but throughout my journey as a listener on 7cups, I have received coaching emails as a feedback for my interaction with members. And in those emails it mentioned that I should improve my response time, empathy and professionalism.

Well, when I received it for the first few times, I did not react positively. Initially I was shocked and then I felt disappointed, sad and angry for being criticised on my listening skills.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I think i reacted and felt that way to protect myself and defend my shortcomings. Also my ego was reacting to it instead of my rational mind.
If I would have come across this video at that time, I would have step back and listened to the feedback, recognize the flaws/ mistakes I have made. Understand that its normal to make mistakes as we aren't perfect. Lastly i would have taken it has an opportunity to learn and improve.

@Harsvin

really well said. I that way with coaching. Emails.

1 The good feed back I handle it well and I felt good about it. I would not change any thing about it.

2 with feed about I can get better I handle it not as well as I would like. I felt like I was in trouble.

1 step back while I. Let the. News setting in.

2 think about what I say a head of time.

3 remind my self I am not in trouble

4 ask how I can get better,

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I recieved was positive - which is lovely to hear! When I did get more constructive feedback my knee jerk reaction is embaressment at being found 'lacking' in some way. Luckily that feeling doesn't last long and I can see that this person is actually investing in me by giving me feedback and then I can re-read the feedback and really take it in.

I react in this way mainly because I have some past social anxiety issues lingering!

I really liked the point about having a follow up after the feedback, although it might be scary to initiate another conversation on your performance it allows you to see your growth :)

@gentleFox20

I totally agree with you about the follow-up part. It takes courage to send the new version of work to the person who advised. One secret I find is that although it's hard, the follow-up could be a start of friendships : )

@gentleFox20

I can understand the embarrassment and that talking about one's challenges can be really scary. But we can all work on that and grow together and I think, 7 Cups is a wonderful place to do that.

Question: Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Answer: My literature teacher commented that my analysis for A&P, a short story was superficial. To be honest, I’ve never heard anyone said that my work was “superficial”. My first reaction in mind was to rebut that I’ve made my argument clearly and listed all the evidence. At that time, I feel like I was not valuable and not respected. However, I managed to calm myself down and ask if there is any improvement I could make. My teacher then explained that the lens I used include more elements than I used in the homework.

I’m pretty glad that I listened to the advice. According to the author name and book page my teacher mentioned, I found a guidebook for literary theories and started to read it last weekend. After watching the video, I feel like I need to know that I am not defined by one single work, nor someone’s comment. I think that I should give my teacher the new version of my analysis and see if I had use the lens properly.

I'd like to have a poster with this quote:

"I am not defined by one single work, nor someone’s comment."

~ @Glencia89

It's something that I've struggled with a lot, and I'm really amazed that you were able to receive your teacher's feedback!