Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: The most recent feedback I got was really appreciative but, at the same time it was a good learning experience.

How did you react? I appreciated their feedback.

I How did you feel? I felt really happy and encouraged to make more efforts and do much better.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? The first thing was I was the one who had asked them for feedback and I welcome all kinds of feedback as they are a good learning experience. Maybe, that's why I reacted and felt that way.

What would you do differently after having watched the video? Nothing really actually.

Wow, whatever it was but sounds perfect for me. Thank you, I will strive to be better.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

There have been a lot of times where I take feedback personally and didn't react well to it. I felt as if they were attacking me, trying to bring me down, then I started getting really nervous and anxious. I think I reacted that way because I wanted to believe that I was doing everything correctly and that I know what I'm doing but in reality there are always areas to improve. After watching this video I will step back and re-evaluate the situation and think positively instead of negatively.

@BellatheHappyHelper I always feel anxious about feedbacks and my emotions are often taking over but yes, this video showed the importance of stepping back and rethinking about what was said. Thank you!

@BellatheHappyHelper awesome answer!

@BellatheHappyHelper I hope that you continue growing. great job

@Heather225

1. How did you react?
I took it into my stride.

2. How did you feel?
I was grateful for the constructive criticism because it pointed out what I was doing well and what I need to work on.

3. Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
Because I wanted to learn and develop professionally. It wouldn’t get me anywhere if I just focused on my shortcomings.

4. What would you do differently after having watched the video?
This situation wasn’t tough. But in situations where I do feel down, I'll try to tell myself that the feedback doesn’t reflect on my worth as a person. It’s just meant to help me become the best version of myself.

@jovialButterfly6752 awesome answer!

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

With the most recent feedback I recieved I was overjoyed, it was so kind! I felt really happy and appreciated and proud that I was able to help the person enough for them to leave such amazing comments.. I reacted this way because the comments were so grateful to me for listening and caring, it melted my heart. I dont think I will do anything differently after watching the video if I'm honest.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I receive feedback at the end of every year with my job. Most of the time it is good and there are only some areas that need to be addressed. My most recent feedback was very positive but there was one area that needed attention which was that I needed to do more courses. When I was told this I was immediately on the defensive, asking questions like ‘’How can I when they are not being run? Why do I need more if I fulfilling my job as is’’ Things like that. I got defensive because its easier to blame others than blame myself. What I should have done was ask ‘’what courses do you think I should do? Are there any up coming courses you would suggest?’’

After watching the video I now know to ask more questions like this during the feedback

Feedback is something we should always encourage. It helps us become better and addresses something that we may be weak at. Feedback can apply in everything that we do. One important thing to remember about feedback is that it is ment to be helpful not hurtful

@Heather225

I received feedback that was disappointing because…it was not clear feedback and I was told they could not tell me what the specifics were but here is a link to our guidelines. Okay I thought, I looked over the guidelines, but what was I looking for? I felt frustrated because I want to learn and correct an error but I was at a loss. So I did reply to the email but did not get the resolution I had hoped for so I reached out to a mentor for support. This could of gone so much better though, had someone who was reviewing me simply provide me instant feedback with solutions. Simple.

So:

Here is my opportunity to express my concerns about the way 7 Cups uses listeners to review other listeners ANONYMOUSLY and then that anonymous listener reports back to a third party from 7 Cups who in turn emails the feedback to the reviewed listener

This is VERY similar to a TRIANGULATION and furthermore it leaves the listener receiving the "cloaked" feedback, feeling confused, hurt and unsure of what to do.

I love feedback, don't get me wrong…but I prefer to have an immediate response from the very party that is giving the feedback and allow me to have a short discussion to counter or simply ask for additional support to correct the mistake/error/problem.

One cannot fix if one does not know what is broke and having to hear it from a third party feels shallow and cold.

Thanks for listening. Just an observation of the way things are. Peace and Love

What would I have done differently,

Not over-reacted so quickly.

@Heather225

I reacted by setting up a schedule to prevent further failure. I felt ashamed because I probably should have noticed by my self. I'll probably thank the next person to give me feedback

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

How did you react?
I was feeling a little uncomfortable with the positive feedback and felt very nervous about receiving the positive points. I felt more comfortable with the constructive criticism as long as it was phrased in a way that wasn't personal.

How did you feel?
Again, I felt more comfortabel with the constructive form of criticism. But for those moments where the feedback was more directly negative or critical, I would feel very let down by myself, as if it was hardd to view the route to being "better".

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I think I reacted this way internally because just receiving feedback that is negative with no direction for imporvement is just being talked down to in my opinion. For the moments of positive feedback straightforward, I think I felt awkward only becuase praise seems to make me feel isolated out and as if I am not being lead to develop myself.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I might feel a little different, but it is hard to tell. Time will tell. But I feel like my ideas and feelings in regard to my ability to receive feedback will remain the same because I feel strongly about personal versus constructive feedback.

@Heather225

I got my maths homework back and feedback on how I could get the wrong answers correct. I don't like getting things wrong, I am one of the cleverest in the class and it is my personal challenge to beat everyone else in my class. I did however get the answers wrong and the feedback was very helpful and I now haven't done the mistake again. I think I reacted well taking onboard the feedback and that has helped me become better with my maths work.

@Heather225

The last feedback that I received was that I sometimes speak before thinking careful and considering others feelings

How did I react: I was a little shocked because I was working on this problem for so long and never really realized that I had hurt people close to me without knowing it

How did I feel and why do I think I felt that way: Well, I felt a little disappointed that my work wasn't really that helping but I was happy that it was an honest feedback instead of empty flattery and that will help me become more aware of my mistakes and work harder to fix them

What would I do differently after watching the video: I learned to not get personally attacked by it and ask for advice from the person who gave me a feedback

@generousBreeze169 I noted for myself that feedback is fresh perspective from other people, you just more explained that for me, appreciate it!

I recently got feedback on a Listener Learning Session I hosted. I appreciated the feedback and is working to improve my skills based on the feedback. This video is a helpful reminder on why feedback are important, i will definitely keep this video in mind whenever I receive feedback.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I became rude and raging. I answered roughly trying to say they are wrong. I felt angry and unfair. Because I thought feedback was provoking me to be angry and sad about it. Because I thought it was too rough feedback for me and they could do it in a more soft way.
I'd understand that feedback is a friendly thing, they are holding a mirror for me to my better self-understanding. So, firstly I must separate what I do from my personality, because a feedback is not about they hate me but about how to do work better. So, most important for me to hear out the feedback and being appreciative.

Sorry, don't get me wrong, I generally appreciate feedback, but this one was tough for me because this work is very important for me and I was too stressed about. So I said it even if doesn't excuse me.

@Heather225

How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

From the last bit of feedback I received, I felt sad and guilty to myself. I felt like I let myself down and the people who were giving the feedback because it's not what I normally am like or how I normally perform. But I learnt about what it was and now I am trying to improve myself from it.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Nothing differently really, I think the way someone accepts feedback can't be changed by a video. But an interesting thing which was mentioned was that feedback is like someone holding a mirror up at you and showing you a different perspective of yourself.

@Heather225

How did you react?

I acknowledged their opinion, however unsolicited it was.

How did you feel?

I was a bit frustrated (it was during a debate on female rights) but nevertheless appreciative of the insight.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I reacted that way because I am naturally compassionate and I give people room for doubt because everyone is entitled to an opinion, as long as it doesn't hurt someone else's values. I wouldn't do much differently since I am already quite open about the matter.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The recent feedback i recieved was a positive one , in which I myself reached out to the person to give me a feedback on something .

So I definately believe that feedback helps us grow and improve . It's also in the manner some one gives us feedback that makes the most impact, it should be constructive and not just critical or belittling to the other person.

Going back further to think of a negative /constructive feedback, I ofcourse felt defensive , bad and confused for a short while .

After which I tried to step away and think about the feedback later with a clear mind .

The video is great and highlights good tips on how to recieve a feedback and Make it of good use. I do try most of these already, stepping away and calming down, trying to understand from other's perspective, listening and asking for advise to improve and further more, thanking the person for helping me become better in my work .

@Heather225 I reacted professionally and understood why I was receiving the feedback that I did. I felt awful on the inside but as a leader, I know to not react in an unprofessional manner and that I will always learn and grow, even from mistakes. I wouldn't change the way I did this as I have learned this is the correct way to take feedback.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I reacted with openness. I understood why I received this and I openly took the feedback to improve. I felt glad, I like feedback as it can help me improve! I reacted that way because I had to. Its the best way to take feedback. If you was to take feedback with anger then you wouldn't be doing good and you would probably forget the feedback which means you won't learn from it. I would probably make sure that I take a few notes on places I could improve but other than that I don't think I need to do anything different

@Heather225

Can someone please tell me what the video is about?

My parents set restrictions on my computer!

@AdylynS

Nevermind I will answer the questions even though i could not see the video...

I was like "Ok, I need to do better at this"

I felt great because I was getting the support i needed

Because I knew what I was getting into and it wasnt a fresh smelly can of worms

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I think i reacted pretty well, i enjoy receiving constructive critiscism because it helps me be a better person

How did you react?

I thanked them for the feedback

How did you feel?

I felt well and not upset

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I think i reacted pretty well because i like constructive criticism

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

Next time I get a feedback, the first thing I would do is to take a deep breath and see myself separate from my work.

@Heather225

1. I was shocked honestly because I thought the chat didn't go bad.

2. I was sad for a while and worried if other chats go this way as well, it won't be good as a listener

3. I felt that way because it was unexpected, at least from my side. I felt as though I had done my best.

4. I would try to listen more attentively and appreciate people for the feedback they give me as of course they will be honest and give me the room to improve. I won't take criticism to heart but rather treat it as constructive feedback and work on myself.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? I took it well, I appreciate it, since it's someone wanting me to improve!

How did you feel? I felt thankful because feedback is an awesome resource to learn.

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? Because I'm glad I had someone caring for my progress!

What would you do differently after having watched the video? Nothing really! but it was very interesting

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react?

Well it was pretty positive so I felt good it was nice

how did you feel?

I felt great that I am able to help someone and the appreciate it

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

Cause given my current physical condition I nenwve thought I'd be able to help and make a difference but now it turns out I can even in this condition

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

​​​​​​​I'll accept all feedbacks, negative or positive, as there is s ope of improvement in everyone and no one is perfect

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The most recent feedback I received was related to my academics from a teacher after finishing a test. He gave me feedback about how well my responses to the essay question are structured and highlighted that I need to improve in writing shorter sentences instead of run-ons. At first I felt a little embarrassed but I quickly accepted the feedback. I think I reacted this way because writing extensive sentences were the areas I need to improve on that I was aware of. After watching the video I think it is important for me to just calmly accept the feedback that I got and focus more on how I can be improved in this aspect rather than being ashamed of it.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

How did you react?

I accepted the feedback given to work on being better at a role here

How did you feel?

I felt hurt at first but feedback is how we learn to do better in life

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?

I may of felt hurt and stand by what was said but to know there was an area needing to be worked on is better than ignoring it.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?

@pamharley003 What you learnt from the video is so great pam <3

@pamharley003

Love your determination and thanks for sharing

@pamharley003 I agree. It's so important that we face and improve the things that we need to work on. That allows us to lead and live more fulfilled, happier and satisfied lives.

@pamharley003 Thanks for sharing and happy to learn something from your perspective.

The most recent feedback I received was on some points I made and vocabs I use in a class essay from a peer. I was a little surprised because I didn't know some points are not taken as well and not as "great" as I imagined it to be in my head. I think I felt that way because I don't let others read my writing that often so when I do, their feedback makes me a little surprised. After watching the video, I feel that it would be helpful to have others giving their opinions about my writing. There's always room for improvement and I should appreciate their time to better my work.

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

The recent time I received feedbacks, I was feeling stressed out and abit annoyed to be honest. so I was a a bit defensive and lashed out at the other person. I think it is because I was having low self-esteem, feeling self-doubts, was overworking a little burnt out and tired, I just was not in the place to work and receive feedbacks to improve myself. This time, I will try to slow down, take a step back when I receive feedbacks. I will remind myself that feedbacks are oppotunities for me to grow. I will say "thank you" to feedbacks instead!