Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
Please note: In order to successfully complete Course 2, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/shows that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and follow the instructions given. Save your responses to a document that you can later refer to. You will need to copy/paste your response in the course evaluation form at the end of each course to show that you have done the work and to refresh your memory.
-
Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
-
Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.
This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.
1) Yes, I have been directly involved in conflicts. I won’t get into specifics but I learned that it was better to stay calm and remain rational while the other party was getting upset and acting irrationally. It is better to be able to stay in control of the situation by keeping yourself calm so that you don’t say anything you may regret 2) Listen more than you talk. Also don’t raise your voice because the second you show that you are upset, you lose all credibility because you are reacting emotionally and not logically.
@Heather225
1. I have never been here in such a situation yet. But yeh I would say in my real life I have faced such situations in my family or in the school with my friends. I always try to resolve it as soon as possible . I used to listen perspective of both sides. Everyone has different personality and different perspectives on everything so we can't blame anyone wrong or we can't prove ourselves right. So I remember I try to resolve the conflict between two friends by listening to both and by focusing on the common ground.
2. You have provided a very helpful and best tips to facilitate healthy conflict resolution. Yeh I would like to say we should try to be calm, and try to listen other's perspective and thoughts as well because it makes us to learn something, and we should think wisely before saying anything because some words can proved to be hurtful too. And I guess going to be agree with people is the best way to resolve conflicts. 😊
@LovetoGod Indeed it helps to listen to other person's perspective and look to find common ground. Most of all, it helps to consider other person's feelings and how your words might impact them.
@Fristo
Yeah it's true 💖
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
There are more than two sides to conflict resolution, especially when multiple parties or groups are involved.
Mediation is something that is very important while working with many people.
People need to be heard, understood and validated in a safe and comfortable environment.
Mediation is not instantaneous. It is a process. Usually a slow one with ups and downs.
With mediation, one has to learn how to manage high stress and crisis situations
The main goal of meditation is to de-eacalate violence and come up with a solution.
Solutions achieved in different ways with different outcomes.
An agreement is where all parties equally agree on something.
A compromise is where a party gives up something.
Looking at the cost/benefit analysis to all parties in any given situation helps broadening our perspectives .
Seeing what people gain and what people lose, relative to each other, helps broaden perspectives.
Seeking common goal with thd best possible outcomes is best. The beat possible outcomes is to have an environment where people can be emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually, financially and psychically satisfied.
That includes having the proper resources, tools, funding, workers and peers available .
Nothing in this world is complete bliss. There are multiple dualitues in this multidimensional world and matrix.
Having multiple experiences helps a lot.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Yes. Refer to my answer in question 1. That is just a little bit about it. Would you like me to write some of these courses? I can do that. I just need opportunity.
1. Yes i was mostly with my cousin. She would often scream at me even if i didn't like it. I mosten stayd calm didn't say anything i would just ask her to atleast stop to screaming. I would also tell her that it's not only my fold but would apologize to. 2. Stay calm and try to listen. If you have a conflict than maybe bove or more Persons were fault so apologize
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I changed topic, or simply moved away from the place of conflict. But I realise after reading this thread that there could be even better ways to resolve a conflict. It helps to actively listen and understand other person's perspective and what they really want. It also helps to not repeat unhelpful behaviour, and be aware of the words coming through you and how they might impact the other end.
Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Use all your active listening skills to understand where the other person is coming from.
@Heather225
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation?
I’ve been conflict resolution with my friend Alexis from Elementary. But I don’t remember how we stopped the fight. It was only a small fight. We became happy again easily.
Can you think of any tips we haven’t listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
A lot of understanding and consideration. And looking at the other person’s view too. Even when it’s hard to understand, to try to. Seeing life from their side.
@IcicleSnown I like how you point out to try to look at the other person's view even when it's hard to understand.
1.) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I think most people have. It was simple to resolve afterwards. I calmly spoke to the person I had had a disagreement with and we agreed that it was okay for us to disagree and that it is a normal thing that people do.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think all of the tips you have given are great! An additional tip I can think of is to always remember that it is okay to disagree with people on different things. It is a normal aspect of everyday life, and people disagree on all sorts of things.
Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yup! I’m a global mod for member chat rooms here on 7Cups. So I respond and resolve conflicts that arise. There was an incident where members in a support chat room were divided on point of view of 7Cups’s crisis policy. Things were getting heated pretty quickly and I had stepped in to de-escalate as members who wanted support weren’t getting it because of the debate that was on-going. I reminded everyone of the current policies and why they were in place. I also made them aware of the proper feedback channels if they wish to leave feedback.
Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I think my personal tip in conflict resolution is to stay open-minded and just listen to what others have to say. As moderators, we often join group chats late when we respond to situations that arise in group chats and don’t have a full picture of what happened. Staying neutral and not taking sides is important. And offering the option for members to PM can give them a venue to vent and calm down instead of continuing in engaging in conflict in group chat.
Yes I have been part of many conflict resolution situation in personal life but not at 7cups. To resolve that I followed the steps mentioned in the guide to this post. Apart from that I also followed Love is Respect. I think often at times when conflict arises people lose their temper which just worsens the situation. So if we can politely proceed that is better for the both parties involved.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Like i mentioned above, Love is Respect. Dealing the situations without losing temper is an art by itself. Though if we work at it, we can see significant improvements. And moreover, it can also lead us to have better control on our emotions. The rest I think is covered in the guide itself, I have nothing to add.
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
1. Yes, sometimes it happens in my job. Communication and confronting the situation head-on is really the only way to go. Most of the time there is more to the story.
2. It could help to remember to practice pausing for a moment. Step away from the situation for a bit to give yourself some time to reflect on the situation before the next steps, depending on if you are able to, etc. Sometimes people need time to process things a bit to be able to see the bigger picture?
